Rome Mayor for a Day

There's a political campaign going on around Rome asking you to post and click and join some movement or another and reveal what you'd do if you were Mayor for a Day.  There isn't a day that goes by in which I don't think obsess about that.   [If only citizen's suggestions were actually put into action, well, perhaps cities would be amazing places for all concerned]  So, in the spirit of the season, I thought I'd offer my wish list for my first 100 days; because I'd probably be run out of town or worse before the 101st.

Day 1   Internal Organization   
- Install a Cabinet of 50% women & a woman Vice Mayor (to top off that extra 1% of which we hold the majority)
- Toss out all the "advisors" and watch my budget grow (like the City 'on-staff' Doctor who never has to report into work but still gets paid approx €5000/month for services) - and with the extra money, open nursery schools and daycare for Altzheimers patients
- Make sure everyone uses their own unreimbursed mode of travel to their offices (and just watch how fast those bus services start working like a freshly greased wheel)
- Start enforcing absenteeism and docking pay

Transportation     
- Before giving TrenItalia one red penny for their abysmal train 'service', they would have to first: a) provide airport trains with space for luggage and no additional staircases inside the train b) add additional commuter trains and staff to clean them c) add an elevator to the airport track at Ostiense Station.  Then, they would have to extend hours for commuter trains so people could actually use them after a night out on the town.
- Build commuter parking lots for those who might consider taking a train or bus into town
- Build a foot bridge over the Via Imperiale from the Colosseum so cars no longer have to halt every time one of 7 million tourists passes by, and another one on the Cristoforo Colombo so people can flow as easily as the cars.  I might add one over at the Capitoline Hill besides.
- Make sure night buses are small and electric.
- Put ticket agents on every single city bus.  Believe me, you would pay their monthly salaries in a week.

Long Term Infrastructure (which creates jobs, I might add)
Start a 'Big Dig' from the Pontina to the Cristoforo Colombo to stop the buildups at one of the most congested arteries in all of Rome.
Ask a tourist (or better yet, me) to travel around Rome and redo all the incorrect or missing signage - such as the entranceway to the Tangenziale; removing all the signs for Rome's Auditorium and putting them near the Auditorium where they might actually do some good.
Turn the abandoned buildings of the ex-Fiera di Roma into a Science Center for children and families
Actually fine and force people to remove their illegal structures in Rome at their expense or risk of jail

Cut Costs
- Police no longer used for political escorts - if you want to make sure you won't get shot up, maybe it's better to not draw so much attention to yourself in the first place with dozens of police postings, lights flashing and 8 cars before and after you.
- Police no longer traveling in three or more to a car
- Meter maids must work on their own and not in tag teams; Meter maids also employed to give fines to owners of dogs who don't clean up their crap
- Bring in night watchmen on dog duty and levy hefty fines for infractions

Increase Revenues
- Take away the dreaded 'Tourist Tax' and instead make the Rom pay for their garbage removal services and property squatting.  €10/person/day to live on City property and, campers immediately towed and fined €5000 if parked on city streets.
- Advertisers and Outdoor advertising companies fined €2000 per sign that goes up and is illegal, political ads must pay for the space
- Instead of allowing new building, people will get tax breaks for picking up the abandoned ones and turning them into places of business

Improve the City
- Actually enforce all the rules & regulations that heretofore have been put in place (e.g., squeegees, prostitutes, illegal building and the like)
- Stop all tree 'pruning' and ask the Finnish Park Service (they're in the EU right?) to oversee any future cuts
- Force the private companies who cut down the trees to take away - at their expense - the hundreds of thousands of tree stumps they leave in their wake and replant them with proper, tall, magnificent trees as in the rest of the neighborhood
- Discontinue planting of nano-orange trees and replant the beautiful Roman trees that give us oxygen
- Force the paving firms to guarantee that the crosswalks will be white for at least 5 yrs and they must repaint within 24 hrs or pay a hefty fine when they magically disappear
- Allow citizens to photograph license plates of cars who nearly run them down while crossing on crosswalks and/or who are on cellphones or worse, texting - or those that double park and block crosswalks and then charge hundreds in fines
- Give tax advantages to stores and offices who don't use or turn off florescent signage at night
- Build - keep up - and enforce contiguous bike lanes throughout the city
- Provide toilet paper in every single school and start painting and improving the facilities
- Turn off the lights on the Colosseum every day a woman is murdered by her partner or ex.

Santa, Baby...are you listening?

**Items in gray have live links.

Milan Stock Exchange: A Sign of the Times

Even Milan has it's own 'Talking Statues' like in Rome*

On my recent trip to Milan, I was surprised to see this 'Temporary Installation' to modern culture erected for - two weeks only! - during the Milan Furniture Fair still standing.  After all, it was mounted in September of 2010.  Supposedly, City officials didn't want to host it then and yet, here it is proudly proclaiming what the world already knows.   As much as I (sort of) like the statue, it's yet another provocative Fuck Off to the citizens of Milan by "artist" Maurizio Cattelan who seems to have convinced more than a few people that the city is his canvass, and to hell with you if you don't understand "art".  His last cool 'bad boy' maneuver in the name of 'creative license' was hanging a bunch of life-sized children from trees around a major thoroughfare.  There was such an uproar the City finally gave in and had them taken down.  If he thinks he's leaving a legacy to the city of Leonardo, I'm sure Da Vinci is laughing his ass off in his grave.
The statue is well-constructed, almost appealing, and many believe the artist was flipping off the bankers at the Stock Exchange.  But if you look at it closely, that hand is facing us.  And this reason only is why the statue passes muster with me.  I would love to see it in the center of Wall Street as a symbol for the occupy movement.
Not one to be a prude, I don't think it doesn't have to be shown.  But when we're still censoring swear words on Comedy Central, an openly City-approved 'bird' is, in my humble opinion, not kosher.  If I want to see Cattelan's dead children or his fuck finger, I'll pay a ticket and see it on exhibition.  Forcing men, women and children to lay their eyes on his 'artwork', or forcing them to take another route on public property to me is undemocratic and unacceptable in modern society.
If you look closely at the fascist figures in relief adorning the front of Palazzo Mezzanotte (figures, I might add, that nobody can say precisely quite what they're doing), I have read that they represent the "Four Essential Elements of Modern Economy".
Leave it to Cattelan to give us the fifth.

For more views of the Milan Stock Exchange, it's article and Cattelan's work, click here.

*For Rome's Talking Statues - Earth's First Blogger - read here.

Italy Taxes: #IMU I Miss U

This title will not have much meaning for those outside our Bell'Italia shores, but this week most of the country is paying up begrudgingly on their reinstated property tax holiday that one Silvio had brought on, to wreak economic havoc on a country in badly need of tax revenues.  So, the standard property tax - that most City governments count on in order to line all kinds of pockets implement all kinds of services was brought back in (under Berlusconi & Tremonti, I might add) ---and no one is happy about it, except the Finance Ministry, of course.  It was probably done purposely, because it's Mr. Monti who is getting the blame.
Problem is, the State govt did away with the tax.  City govts were left high and dry, so they instated a new tax. Now that the old tax is reinstated (stay with me here), with a brand new name, the IMU, cities have left their new tax.  So as usual, the burden is left to fall on the honest tax payers come Dec 17th.
So, I went to find information online about how to pay the IMU [which in my opinion should never have been cancelled in the first place, but this was only a swift maneuver that many an ancient emperor tried out successfully, in order to curry favor with the populus - so we can say Silvio was just following tradition].
On Twitter, I searched #IMU - and I soon realized it did not mean what I thought it did.  Here's a brief compilation of pertinent tweets.  You'll soon bear witness that it means a number of things to a number of people [feel free to ponder the creation of mega-piles of manure bytes filling up the bandwith only to be sorted out someday by archivists who find themselves in hell]:

We'll see if the money comes rolling in...(it has)
Miss Lavender ‏@LavenderLowe

Only time will tell... #imu

The tax man cometh...

Laurensia Vianney ‏@Lvianney

"You say?" "say something" "anything else?" #IMU

Alas...me too.

Joe Meade ‏@joemeade35

I think about the same thing 24/7< #imu

Someone whose papà must have paid the IMU:

‏@kathersC

Now "GOD MUST HAVE SPENT A LITTLE MORE TIME ON YOU" by N'SYNC is playing. BEST. MORNING. EVER. Seriously. #imu 

People will go to all ends of the earth to hide their money

Strategic Analysis ‏@Strat_Analysis

It has been announced by @ISAFmedia that an insurgent from the #IMU was arrested in Kunduz province yesterday. #Afghanistan

Clearly trying to make the best of a bad situation

Tim Williams ‏@NewKiddStatuz

Wen u have a good girl like mines... All u can do is be good nd hold tight nd love the mess out of her. #IMU

The President of a prominent Italian University telling his son to move abroad - by open letter in the papers

Dakota J. Thomas ‏@dakotajthomas

A diet for those who want to both live and study. #finals #imu @ Iowa Memorial Union

Mr. Monti counting the spare change...
Cierra Collins ‏@cc_nichole6

Love you more! #IMU

Mr. Tremonti, former Finance Minister celebrating his creation

Kaitlyn Sintkowski ‏@kaitlynaliese

you can find me sprawled out on a couch nomming on a cranberry bliss bar, drinkin a salted caramel mocha & pretending to write a paper #IMU

All the rest of us, coughing up the tax.

Tesleem ‏@ife_sleem

a part of me just went away....... far away #imu

The Perfect Gift of Electronics (kids only)

A friend came to visit one holiday season a few years back and told me she met someone on the street who showed her fine camera to buy - for just 50 euro.  Thinking it had been stolen, she couldn't believe her luck.  She negotiated him down to 30.  She insisted she had been offered a gorgeous (Canon, Olympus, fill-in-the-blank) for her bucks.  She handed the money, and the next thing she knew she was the proud owner of ... an empty camera case.  To this day she did not know what sleight of hand he pulled on her in order to affect the swap, but, when she showed up at my house with her empty case, she was fit to be tied.  And she is Italian.  I told her those ploys - in any country - are reserved for tourists...how could she have been so silly?!
In NY, 42nd street was famous for making the swap in the electronics shops and their policy was No Returns Accepted (and no credit cards).  I'm not sure if this is the case today, but in the digital age, it would seem a folly given that any missteps in the face of consumers would end up on the web before you could type out Yelp!
But in this last case of camera swapping, I had heard the tale many times before, but I finally met someone who had succumbed to the wily ways of the streetwise savvy swindler.  These guys aren't just small-time crooks, they're darn good actors besides.  Because their elaborate thievery has them convincing their target that they know the family, the kids, and all kinds of personal details.  The only thing that can trip them up, especially in a country of single children, is that they only stand a 50/50 chance when first approaching their mark to guess that the person has a son over a daughter, or a child at all.  But, it's a miniscule margin of error in order to rake in hundreds on every single transaction.  And besides, I'm sure they've figured out a cover story for every sort of mishap they came across.  They're so smooth that they even get the prey to thank them for their trouble besides.

How I ended up with a fabulous baby gift for burgeoning photographers...

Taken all together, it looks fairly real - but the weight should
give it away immediately as a scam

This is my favorite part

Baby can play as hard as he wants at becoming the next
Man Ray... Even the lens is plastic

The elderly gentleman walked out of the Post Office (this is one of the main Points of Interest in Italy for anyone over 55 and where they usually go to collect their pensions - so they have ready cash-in-hand...).  A man approaches and the conversation goes something like this:

"Oh-how are you doing? What luck!  I've not been able to get ahold of your son and I have the camera he wanted!"

"You mean, Francesco?  I don't know what you're talking about!"

"You see, Francesco put a downpayment on this camera (takes it out of the bag).  But, he still owes me 160 euro. Perhaps you could pay me and get the money from him, instead of me trying to reach him again and again."

"I don't have that kind of money, and (growing suspicious) besides, how do I know that it's my son you're talking about?"

"Well, why don't you give him a call?  If you ring him, I can tell him I have the camera, I ran into you, and then we're squared away, okay?"

Fumbling for the phone, and feeling a bit uncertain (you know, when that sixth sense we all love to ignore kicks in) 

Dials the number.

Upon hearing a responce, he says, "I have your friend here who says he's got the camera for you -- you talk to him about the money, and just let me know what to do."  (Incredibly, he passes the cellphone to the crook - who could just make off with it and call it a day).

Francesco, at this point, is shouting, "No, papà, it's a scam, don't do it!" But to deaf ears.  That's because our Actor-Thief has now disconnected the phone and carried on his own version of a conversation in which they're squared away. 

"Okay, so he says he'll pay you back the 160 euro he owes me."

"But I don't have 160 euro, just €120 or so..."

"Va bene, va bene...I'll take the 120 euro just to put this thing to rest."

"Very well. Grazie tante."

Judging from what you read in the papers, this scam is so prevalent the thieves could form their own actor's guild.  But the real mystery remains, Why are the best, most efficient customer-oriented, demographically savvy, target-marketing people the scam artists?  The world may never know.

What's Up in Italy

While the nasty weather, the economy, and Mr. Monti, our Prime Minister, seems to have everyone in a foul mood these days, I take my monthly inventory on all good things Italy.  I might as well start with some of the stickier parts.

• First, the weather:  As tweeted in @newsfromItaly, buckets & buckets of rainfall everywhere, means loads of snow in the mountains--The Ski Season has opened in the Dolomites!  Now, if people other than the politicians could actually afford to get there...

• In his blog assessing the Italian financial situation, Economist (& Nobel Prize Winner) Paul Krugman thinks that Italy's finances might not be in as sad shape as one thinks.  He doesn't take a stab about the future, with jobs going, businesses closing, and things costing more for the ever-eroding middle class, but still good news is good news.

What's The Matter With Italy? http://nyti.ms/10ZG9AA More About Italy http://nyti.ms/UbMO6A 

• In Politics, the left-wing Democratic Party held their American-style primaries and a debate between the two big hitters: old-guard politician Bersani -vs- young & aggressive Mayor of Florence, Renzi.  Even more refreshing was the amicable atmosphere during the debates vis-a-vis the shouting that usually goes on on talk shows.  And, on an even more refreshing note, Berlusconi continues his they-love-me/they-love-me-not flirtation with forming yet another party & giving it a go in the Spring Elections.  But, so far, his Big Announcement seems to be playing out as successfully as Donald Trump's.  As long as he's into resurrections, perhaps he should use the Margherita party name - whose symbol is the Daisy.  Or even a pizza Margherita for a logo.
• In November, Rome's Christmas market opened in Piazza Navona, which draws lots of crowds.  Those who need a nice new figurine for their manger scenes can get them there in the festive atmosphere of the piazza.  And, speaking of figurines, of course those wily Neapolitans have come out with Obama and Romney - the perfect figures for your manger scene-what they have to do with the birth of Jesus, remains to be seen, but it looks like Romney has since been discounted, and we can only hope that Berlusconi goes the same way.
• Not only have the fresh-pressed olive oils come out this November (and it seems to be a banner year), the Vino Novello has hit the stands and restaurants as well!  Many wineries and olive oil companies (I personally love forays into Umbria) open over the weekends and provide wonderful tastings of all the bounty.
• And finally, in Rome's Torre Argentina area, it looks like the humans running the Cat Sanctuary are getting the boot, but the cats will be allowed to rome the area even as it is opened up to the public.  This is an ongoing saga, so watch this page.

Italian Cooking: Taking it with a grain of salt

I dedicate many an entry in my book to Superstitions for Science that I conjecture have no actual basis in scientific methods.  But in actual fact, the more time you spend around these tried and true rules & regulations governing much of your Italian lifestyle [walking around in bare feet, catching a draught, making sure your hair isn't wet], you start to sort of come around to the idea that maybe, just maybe, some of them are founded in a grain of truth.  Perhaps it's like the game of 'Operator' - things just got a bit twisted as they were passed on down through the generations.

Personally, I chalk up my edging toward agreement with the lines of reason to the immense power of simple suggestion.  But, on another level, it might just be the 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em' resignation at work.  And even though I may humor the Italian grandmas (and all their descendants), nodding my head vigorously when hearing of the perils of sleeping near an open window, and other such transgressions, deep down, I know I'm not a true convert.

This is why the amusement is so great when I come across a Healthcare by Hearsay "fact" that I find I am totally on the wrong side of.  In the age of Google, no one can truly let a slight query ne'er a bold statement stand on its own anymore without someone reaching for their phone and 'checking the source'.  So, when it came to adding a pinch of salt in your pasta water, I should have known not to argue with an Italian who happens to be quite proficient in the kitchen.

Picture from A Pinch of Salt cooking classes
serving the NYC Metro area

Since I was a little girl, I was told to put salt in the pasta water, as you brought it to a boil, because      "It made the water boil faster."

It made perfect sense.  I may not be smarter than a fifth grader, but I do recall that 5th grade science experiment about salt and boiling temperatures (100º celsius).  And I have stuck by the salt = faster boil ever since.  If you ever find yourself cooking with Italians, they will, on the other hand, insist that the water gets boiled first and then you toss in the salt - which has nothing to do with boiling temperatures, but rather flavor.  Some go so far to state that the salt in the water may actually slow the boil process.

Judging from wikianswers or knowswhy.com, the mound (of grains) of truth is, salt doesn't make water boil faster.  And, just to add salt to my 5th grade ego's wound, to get that increase in temperature kick that the supposed salt could provide, you'd need upwards of a bucketful, so a pinch won't quite do the trick either.

There is no sense in beating around the bush on this one, so I will offer up a neat, clean mea culpa (or, since we're in Italy, mia colpa):  They are right.  I am totally not worth my salt on this issue (sorry, couldn't resist).  

A lifetime of making sure you pre-salted the water prior to boiling is down the drain as fast as those little rigatoni pieces that slip out at the bottom of the pan.
All is not in vain, however.  I am elated to know that I have provided this important public service announcement to all and sundry who may find themselves in a kitchen with an Italian and who are pondering those huge life issues of -- just the right moment to throw just the right amount of salt in the pasta water.  But, of course, we all know that a watched pot will never truly come to a boil.  So look away, and toss that salt over your left shoulder.  That should do the trick.

Italy: from SIP to SIM Card Supremacy - a look at telephones

As part of my occasional series on Italy: The Way We Were, I was spurred to ponder the history of Italy's twisted (as in spiral cords of way-back-when and recharging cords today) relationship with their telephones. Whenever I go to the movies, I find some joker busily texting or checking messages throughout the 96 minutes that a film director takes to attract your attention. But it used to not be this way.
Italians boast the greatest number of SIM Cards per capita worldwide. You can't walk down the street, or pass anyone in your car (and I don't mean the pedestrians) who you do not find gabbing away on the telephone. Incredibly, like many technical innovations, from faxes to Google, an Italian may have invented the telephone, but once it made its debut, authorities went out of their way to keep users disconnected.

Picture compliments of Ghismunda

Listening to a terrific radio show about phones, the presenter went thru its earliest forms, much like in the USA, starting with the use of an operator in order to place a call. Americans may recall (from the 1960s TV series, Petticoat Junction, no less) the use of the 'Party Line' - whereby the local operator would listen in on all the gossip (and no one seemed to mind about invasion of privacy back then).  In Italy, the party line morphed into the duplex line.  In order to save money, two apartments in a building would share the line.  People would bang on ceilings and floors in order to get someone off so they might make a call.  Thankfully, people couldn't listen in, and phone lines within homes remained dead up until the 1990s.  That was very different from my childhood when we could hold true parties, all talking from different rooms in the house.  In Italy, I'm sure the dead lines were a special feature meant to keep any prying ears out of earshot.
But generally, no one worried about burning up the phone lines - the cost was so prohibitive, Italians generally spoke for a few minutes max before hanging up furiously.  This was the case up til the 1980s and anyone over say, 80, still today will hang up in a rush while you're in mid-sentence.
Aside from the astronomical - and decidedly un-itemized - phone bills, companies and even families put padlocks on the phone just to make sure you didn't have the urge to 'let your fingers do the walking.'  Whenever I see Italians checking their messages incessantly, even in movie theaters, I can't help but think that this 'pent up demand' isn't somehow in their DNA due to decades of repression at the hands of the phone companies and family patriarchs that kept you from using your phone.
It wouldn't be until the 1990s that consumer's advocates finally forced Telecom Italia's hand to itemize bills.  Since then, Telecom Italia (& now their competitors in mobile phones) have done everything they can to pad your bills with untold 'charges' and other  shenanigans. [This is the case in the U.S. as well, except in Italy, we actually are afforded much better service when it comes to mobile phone lines.  The USA blundered with 'pay to receive' and then again by not providing the kind of coverage we are accustomed to in Europe.] Not to be outdone, even when you get your bill, companies only show a few digits of each tel number - for 'privacy' issues -- as if you hadn't dialed the number in the first place.
When cellphones came on the scene, phones finally came to fill their respectful place as a non-stop megaphone on which you could broadcast to complete strangers your most intimate secrets, business deals, you name it.  In old times, the SIP Telephone Co. produced a user's manual which talked about telephone etiquette.  Every now and again they crop up in the press, and they are quite welcome.  Admonishing young guys never to pull it out on a date, or others to leave it on the table, hoping it will ring.  I know plenty of relationships that never got off the ground for this annoying habit alone.  A recent etiquette guide said that restaurants are (finally) making them no-phone zones, just like the smoking bans of days gone by.
But, maybe restauranteurs are too late.  Now that people no longer actually speak to one another, we need people to get over the texting-while-driving era of our telephone use.  As for me, I'm still waiting for people to stop shining their displays to all and sundry when at the cinema - and just focus on the film.