Obama's Election and the women behind their men

This picture released practically at the same moment that CNN called the election was picked up on practically every newspaper in Italy.  It hadn't even crossed my radar, really.   I initially thought the Italian's love for this photo and the accompanying latte & miele - milk & honey - headlines was simply a wonderful romance with - well, romance, but also with the Obama's.  But what was more striking, I believe, was the image of a fairly important politician without his dark suit on the eve of his reelection,  with his wife front and center.  And with her back to us, it was as provocative as Caravaggio placing a butt-naked cupid smack dab in the center of his picture of the Holy Family on their Rest from the Flight to Egypt.  For Italians, The Audacity of Hope is taking the stage on election night and hoping you don't stumble through her name when mentioning your wife whilst publicly declaring your undying love.  But generally, when pronouncements are made, they're dedicated to la mamma (like during the Oscars) or la mamma of one's offspring, but rarely the wife, partner, and wedded lover.  Needless to say, she's hopefully at home with the HD TV on -- that's about as close as she'll get to the real stage.
In Italy, politicians are rarely seen in public with their wives, and when it comes to women (or men) in their lives, the press practices a long held tradition of omertà -- a pat refusal no matter what the scoop to shoot pictures with mistresses in waiting limos outside public engagements.  Let's just say it's job insurance.  We've endured decades with Berlusconi before his wife told him to take a hike, almost never with her by his side.  Once twice-divorced, however, the "Catholic" septuagenarian couldn't wait to release photos of the hotties standing by his side.  Granted, Silvio & his second wife (who's name now escapes me - and Lord knows who the first one even was) were on different sides of the political spectrum, but so were Arnold & Maria Shriver.  And I don't think anyone could ever pick out the wife of Andreotti, a man who's been in politics since before the formation of the Republic of Italy.
While the Obama photo opp may be titillating, the travesty is that women in Italy since ancient times did actually wield great power, despite being shielded from the public eye.  Today, they're most likely desperate housewives you wouldn't recognize if you met up at the local bread shop.  This, of course, is the practice save during international exchanges when, of course, other wives are present.  Then (and unless you're Sarkozy showing off his Italian model), protocol forces them to bring out the wife to prove she does, indeed exist.  It's a rare newspaper that publishes the exchanges - and I found the practice only come into form with the arrival on the scene of model & singer, Carla Bruni.  American men trot out their wives (unless you happen to be married to Bill Clinton) like show horses as a very feature of the campaign trail.  Heck--often they depend on their wives to take the campaign trail even apart from the husbands, racing from city to city in a sort of divide and conquer-the-hearts strategy.  In Italy, where wives only separate from their politician husbands in August, leaving them to "work" with their secretaries in private, it's just not part of the playbook.  I sometimes wonder what Italy would be like if the women, too, could go back to calling some of the shots; allowing them entrance into the cigar parlor - like Margaret Thatcher - not Monica Lewinsky.
They say that women bring a different world view to business, politics and government.  Going back again to ancient times, women in Greece were hardly involved with their men, both in and out of the bedroom.  Perhaps today, Greece would be a different place if women had been allowed onto the front of the stage over there from the onset -- But could Italy, while melting at the sight of the Obamas, consider letting women in front and center before the country melts down?


For more of my mentions of the Obamas, just SEARCH in the above left-hand corner, "obama".
For my writeup upon Obama's first historical election (2009), click here and 
for my thoughts after his inauguration, click here.

The Fall of Rome's Centurions

picture from
Bible-History.com

Recently, the powers behind Roma Capitale decided, in their ongoing (and totally losing) battle to reinstitute decòr and decency on the streets of Rome, to go after the hodge podge of dubious enemies in our midst:  The Centurions of Rome.

These are guys made up of Italians, Romanians, Poles, Albanians, just like in days of yore.  Except our Centurions, even with their armour, hardly look in shape to climb the steps of the Colosseum let alone defend it in battle.  To the delight of tourists everywhere, our hunky men (only because their armour shows off spectacular pecs) spend their time roaming the streets around the Colosseum and Forum posing for photo opps.

The City decided that this was a bit too close to those figures of Prince Charming and Mickey Mouse roaming the Main Street at Disney.  And so, they closed in on their ranks, sweeping them off the streets.  If they had truly wanted to get these nefarious imposters, they could have done like the Americans and Al Capone: and shake them down for undeclared tax revenues from their all-cash business. [Which also begs the obvious question:  Centurions had pockets?!]

I have had nary a houseguest whose children didn't take magnificent photos with these guys.  Yes, it's tacky.  Yes, it's touristy.  But so is taking a photo with an over-sized penguin at the Aquarium.  And I don't think the penguin colony imprisoned there find it so offensive, either.  But for some reason, Centurions - albeit ones with great paunches patrolling the Forum are an assault to our public decorum.  

I took a stroll myself recently around Piazza Navona; the tourist focal point for admiring the artists, the street performers, the Fountain of the Four Rivers by Bernini.  Instead, none of the tourists could go anywhere near the fountain for their own photo opp and moment of romance.  A place where lovers stood or sat close to each other, flashbulbs burning in the wind had now been transformed into a Bangladeshi street market.  Except in Bangladesh, they sell local works made by locals.  The dozens of vendors here peddle their Gucci knockoffs (declared illegal with tourists being forced to pay huge fines should they try to do so), cheap sunglasses, florescent headware and other such cheap Chinese bric-a-brac, including a dancing pair of mickey & donald -- (very Italianate indeed -- in the very least they could give us the Savoy Kings & Queens tripping the light fantastic). 

These guys have now formed a human shield round the fountain, right under the eyes of the people policing the square.  Buskers belt out their gypsy tunes using loudspeakers and Chinese street artists fill the air with the acrid scent of acrylic paint.

Roma Capitale is looking to restore decorum?  Maybe they should start with enforcing the rules in place and leave our Centurions well enough alone.  Hopefully, like all else in Italy, after the big bust up the story will die down and our Centurions will be reinstated in their ranks right under the Arch of Constantine.  

All they need to do is take a cue from the prostitutes whisked away from the Via Salaria (yesterday at noon I counted only 18), or the squigees washing windows at every intersection all the way down the Cristoforo Colombo.  They too, were vanquished - for the fortnight that it took our Mayor to forget that they ever were a pockmark on our pristine capital city.

For a photo gallery of the epic battle between the Law & Order and our Lawless Rogue Centurions, click here.

When in Rome

I got a big kick out of today's news that an American guy was caught selling fake tickets to tourists so they may 'jump the line' for entrance into the Colosseum.  He basically had printed out a large number of internet print-outs featuring the colosseum (see picture by clicking here).  Once the unwitting tourists went up to the front of the line, they were told that the tickets had already been used.   After a number of complaints, the cops got their man who quickly handed them over.  He will be tried for fraud.
Perhaps he should have just invested in a Centurion costume and posed for tourists at 20 bucks a pop.  He wouldn't need to pay taxes on his earnings, and he'd truly be "doing as the Romans do".




In other news, a recent article grabbing a lot of buzz is how the Mediterraneans are seemingly abandoning their diet.  Click just above, or view it later in my news / NOTIZIE section of the blog.

Italy's Talking Statue Speaks Up

Il Pasquino near Piazza Navona

I was pleased to pass by the Pasquino statue to find that some intelligent being posted a sleek plexiglass 'board' of sorts for people to post their musings and diatribes against our dear leaders.  Unfortunately, many of the postings were ripped apart.  Nonetheless, after many months of silence, here's what Pasquino had to say of late:

I saw fifty Popes come n'go

Then kings, dictators & presidents

I was the one who pestered these mighty men

The first of many thorns in these bosses' sides

Now they've cleaned me up & made me white

I ain't got no ink, nor even quill

I ain't got no rope 'round my neck for my placard

But remember - I don't follow the crowd

What d'ya want from me? Put me in a museum?

Closed spaces ain't my thing

I stay out in the open, just like that ol' Colosseum

Ya wanna call me Menalaus, or even Ajax?*

Da name is Pasquino

and I don't study gallantry

And to keep my trap shut surely ain't my style

King Menalaus husband of Helen of Troy

King Ajax of Salamina (Sophocles)  

Spring Fever Italian Style

All throughout Italy, spring is in the air.  70 degree weather, families taking their afternoon walks in the parks, rainbows of gelato held aloft, male tourists in sandals – with socks.  No sooner are you enjoying the end of inclement weather, then your eyes go watery and your head starts to feel groggy…Hayfever? Fine particle pollution as more people take their cars to the streets to get outside? No.

Spring is the time of year that puts multi-cultural relationships to the ultimate test.  How to handle the changes in attire and other habits that we Americans hold true to our heart (only because these habits don’t hold true for Brits), while your Italian heartthrobs anguish over those very same issues – but inversely.

The first sign of spring, and it starts out mildly – like a small drip leaking through the cracks of a dam that before long will give way, wiping out the village below.  Wandering around the house barefooted, you hear some variation of, “Why don’t you have your slippers on?”  You, in earnest merrily chirp, ‘Because it’s Spring!’ – but you soon come to realize they don’t share your light-hearted bewilderment for seasonal changes.  In fact, from the look on their face, not only don’t they get the connection, they’re busy cruising the internet to see if those nefarious diseases picked up around the house are contagious through skin contact.

At home in the evening, you strategically open all the windows to get that breeze up and running at a good pace all through the evening – if not all night.  Your partner walks in, and before you know it, you feel like you’ve been transported to a gym locker room after the game.  It takes awhile to figure out why, but you finally realize – all the windows have been closed. Tight. In the car, you roll them down, better to feel the warm sun on your face, he/she shoots them back up – and then puts on the child safety lock to ward off any further tampering.

You don’t go so far as to let them see you with wet hair, you decide it’s better to pace the cross-culturalisms throughout the summer in small doses.  Of course, by summer, the car windows do get rolled up, but the playing field moves to the A/C settings [the Americans, jet frost / Italians, the minimum setting possible so as to relieve the shock of leaving the car in 90 degree heat – and not feel any difference in temperature.

My father liked to quip that it was the little things that gnawed away at once-terrific relationships: who leaves the toilet seat up, or pushes out the toothpaste from the middle of the tube.  But then again, he never lived in a foreign country.

Tante Belle Cose: February in Italy

Even though it's a short month, there was lots happening in Italy, and lots to be happy about (that is, if you're not an immigration official based in Lampedusa - Italy's most southern outpost and just miles from the Tunisian-Libyan borders...).  

First off, we were all delighted to hear about the opening of the house of the Vestal Virgins - appropriately timed to Berlusconi's opening of his homes and apartments to those, say, a bit less virtuous...
A full report is offered here by RomeReports
I'll be even more delighted to attempt to see it tomorrow...and try my luck at the 'Free entrance on your Birthday' to Rome's museums&monuments.  Problem is, I was born on Leap Year - we'll see if I can talk my way around this - perhaps I should bring my dog Trevor as a sacrifice?

Down in Sicily, important artefacts were found in the homes of two presumed tombaroli (grave robbers), and who are being prosecuted for having stolen them or ordered them stolen. 

As for our dear TV personality, Mike Bongiorno, the grave robbers who didn't settle for the loot, but the body itself, have put in a bribe request of 300.000 euro (approx. $400,000). Hoping these nefarious thieves get caught red-handed.

Italy at the forefront of imposing biodegradable plastic bags is off and running.  These bags are cooler feeling, much much stronger, and are (supposedly) going to decompose in the trash heaps. 
Compare this with wasteful USA, which now gives you about 3 bags per item, they're so weak they can't hold a carton of milk & a loaf of Wonderbread.  This is something that every country on earth should be demanding.  I just wish we could flash forward 5000 years to see if the claims are, in fact, correct.

And, finally, the month ends with the third edition of the Rome Carneval, being held until 8th of March in Piazza del Popolo.   You can check out all the activities going on there at:  www.carnevale.roma.it 
I for one don't need any further rationale for pigging out on the Carneval treats...

Rome's mini-wikileaks - and all the Censor's men

Julian Assange may be praising the British judicial system, but, I'm sure he's lucky he didn't find himself in Italy.  Rome's judges, clearly on the wrong side of the internet freedom fighters, have, almost overnight (in an unprecedented act of swift decisiveness) closed down Cartellopoli - "Sign City" - a blog that exposed all of the outdoor signs that are springing up like mushrooms all across Rome - illegally.  Thing is, Wikileaks posts ill-gotten information; Cartellopoli posted photos of items already in the public domain - in fact, they're public eyesores.
Citing that the website "instigated vandal acts" - without absolutely the slightest hint of irony - as to which vandal acts they were actually protecting - the website was shut down.  This site, like others such as, Roma Fa Schifo ("Rome Sucks"), is run by democratically-minded people who are sick & tired of seeing the world's most beautiful city reduced to one live message board; with every sort of ad, poster, and of course, huge outdoor sign littering the cityscape.

the cartellopoli website as it now appears

Their activism - to get people to notice the daily disturbances and 'wild west' practices - embarrass the companies and people that are committing these vile acts - and maybe, elicit a response from the authorities.  Little did they know that they would be the ones to receive such a direct response. 
Naturally, these same civic-minded people have been waiting years for a case to be brought against any one of the illegal operations busy polluting the streets of Rome, and of course, engaging in the local pastime, not paying the taxes for posting in the first place.  But their website?  Down for the count.
They now must fight to get the site reinstated.  If, in this giving season, you love Rome, believe that (legally) disseminating information is a form of civic and civil discourse, please contribute something to Cartellopoli - to help pay their legal fees to stop this censorship and block the march of progress by self-serving outlaws.  And in the meantime, it will go a long way to bringing Rome back to its unparalleled beauty.

You can donate thru paypal on the Roma Fa Schifo site:  http://www.romafaschifo.com/

You can read the article (in Italian) about Cartellopoli's censorship here

Wouldn't it be nice to see instead, signs like these around town?

Advertising Age-The Best of Ancient Roman Headlines

In my periodic critique of Italian ad campaigns, a new bar has been set.  Up High. This is not the gold standard, but the platinum one - done for none other than my favorite local newspaper, Il Messaggero.  And, it's innovative for a number of reasons -- it shows how the internet, when put to good use, can break the boundaries and really provide something useful: a campaign that's fun to see, memorable, doesn't contribute to eye pollution, and hopefully, succeeds in selling more papers.  This campaign was a result of a contest on BootB amongst Creative agencies (winner: LS&Partners). And, whomever selected it, showed that Italians can have a sophisticated sense of humour when it comes to ad delivery.  The tag line?  
Il Messaggero:  The best news-Always (or, for all time...)

Rome Burns. Nero "Not me!"

Cleopatra & Antony: we'll take on Rome

Advertising Age?  A healthy 42 years old.
And, now, you can create your own headlines!  Follow their template - awesome.

Tante Belle Cose - September2010 Roman Culture

There have been so many great things happening in and around the country, it’s almost as if the entire country of Italy were trying to hide the fact that the government’s been in meltdown since August. Cultural events, free museums, better (almost) everything – that doesn’t have to do with governing. As a wise man once remarked, “Italy functions despite its government.”

In terms of travel, Italy’s train company announced (along with its October special discounts released on the 30th, that you have to book 1 month in advance to get – ahem) that you can now take a train straight to Milan's Malpensa Airport from Rome – without changing trains.

Rome's Palazzo Barberini - National Gallery of Art finally reopened after years of restoration – in its entirety – after the Ministry of Culture spent (well spent) years of wrangling away half the palace that was given over to the Defense Ministry’s clubhouse (or something like that). It opened to great fanfare, day-long lines just to get in the door; and with artworks by all the masters, worth a trip for sure.

Not only did Sept bring free events in the museums and evening visits to the Vatican Museums, but we could now visit a host of other places opened by night for concerts, events, all kinds of entertainments. So much so, people were once again remarking, "Give 'em pane et circences" - bread & circuses."
It was also a great month for having rooftop drinks on terraces around Rome – and if you don’t have a friend with one, I enjoyed the sips & sights on the Hotel47 roof (next to Bocca della Verità), Hotel San Giorgio (on via Giulia), and no summer can end without dinner or a drink on the fabulous terrace of the Galleria di Arte Moderna.

Mr. Tanzi, responsible for the biggest accounting fraud in history – the Parmalat scandal (if you don’t count the Madoff-Ponzi scheme) had his Knighthood revoked (Cavaliere); although his freedom still hasn’t been. Citing age (he’s 70), they're trying to get him to avoid jail so he can enjoy the fruits of his labours…Madoff got 150 years, but it’s not like the judge & jury thought he’d live them out.

And, in a country where things are still being unearthed (mostly by monied tombaroli tomb raiders), 500 – yes, 500 cases filled with artifacts from the Roman Forum was found. Not really lost, they had gone into hiding during the war – and then lost in storage. They think it’ll take years to account for each of the pieces, but, little by little we’ll get to see the finds at one of my favorite museums, Museo di Civiltà Romana in nearby EUR.

But, my highlight of the month came when visiting Naples – Trevor & I went to the excellent Città della Scienza – “the only dog-friendly museum on earth”. Aside from the installations, activities, and wealth of ideas, friendliness and professionalism (not to mention the yumbo gnocchi alla sorrentina and caponata served at their cafeteria), we found out that the following Sunday was ‘dog day afternoon’ – and families could visit with their pets in tow. Wouldn’t I have liked to see Trev’s hair standing on end at the electric current generator…

The Ara Pacis – Rome’s Altar of Peace

Not long after settling in office, Rome’s Mayor Alemanno presided over the installation of a Council for Dignity, Forgiveness & Reconciliation. Taking place at the highly controversial (if you’re the Mayor of Rome) and highly disliked (again, if you’re the Mayor of Rome) Ara Pacis Museum, I was convinced that it was his gesture toward leaving the building – and its Architect, Richard Meier, finally at peace.
Having declared the first modern building in Rome's center in nearly a century an official eyesore on the sights of stunning Rome, wanting to dismantle it, and in the best case, rebuild it in Rome’s ugly suburbs (so much for beautifying the entire city - in his eyes), I thought he descended upon the Altar to declare instead its official Dignity; to Pardon Meier for his horrific creation, and to start forward toward modernizing Rome in an act of Reconciliation. This single act would lead the way toward building something new again within the city center limits.

Turns out I was wrong. On all accounts. While the city keeps up its campaign of eye pollution in allowing the hundreds of illegal advertising billboards, while it allows the SS teams in the Parks&Gardens Office to continue razing any sign of greenery in the city (leaving behind a trail of meter-high grey tree stumps which get uprooted only for planting a billboard), this was a matter of a totally different sort.

Although it must have pained Alemanno to hold his celebration at his most hated monument, he even stood to accept a sheet of pergamon to convey the lofty ideals of respect, comprehension and dialogue. Three characteristics that do not surround his Meier diatribe (built by the former left-wing Mayor). In his words,

“Occorre saper comprendere le vere ragioni dei conflitti. Al tempo stesso, "non bisogna chiudersi nella vendetta e nell'odio ma affrontare le cause reali.”

“One needs to search out the real reasons for conflict.” At the same time, “One shouldn’t close himself behind hate and revenge but take on the true causes.”

Now if he would practice what he preaches, maybe the fatwa against Meier can be lifted, and the Mayor can preside over a Pax Alemanno of sorts.

picture courtesy of bluffton.edu

click here to see the entire Altar & museum in its splendor

From RomanGuide: After a century of bloody civil and foreign wars that had brought to the end of the Roman Republic, Augustus, who had ruled as emperor since 27 B.C., seemed finally to have placed the Romans under his own personal peace, the Pax Augusta. In recognition of this achievement, the Roman Senate voted in 13 B.C. an altar dedicated to peace and to the emperor who had made the end of the civil wars possible. The result, completed about four years later, was a triumph. The Ara Pacis Augustae, the Altar of Augustan Peace is the most intimate imperial monument. The Ara (a 35x39 foot rectangle), is a perfect example of the elegant and gracious style cultivated by Augustus. Justly proud of his altar, Augustus made mention of the circumstances that led to its creation in his Achievements of the Divine Augustus (Res Gestae divi Augusti), the official autobiography written near the end of his long reign.

Italy: Attack of the Clones

This week, I brought my little nephews to see one of the greatest sights in Rome – located right next to the Colosseum.  No, it’s not the Forum nor the Arch of Constantine, nor even the Palatine Hill where our word palatial comes from.  It was the 3D film of all of Ancient Rome, reelaborated by the University of Virginia and brought to you by Rome Rewind.  It took a Brit (and British humour) to give us an improvement on Nero’s age-old Anfiteatro Flavio [yet another example of the Italians’ penchant for naming things two times over…].

We learned many things about the area, gladiators, & the monuments before stepping into the past and visiting the Roman Forum in 3D.  Afterwards, the kids enjoyed dressing up as gladiators, battling, and playing video games on Ancient Rome.  Having read many of the Caroline Lawrence's ‘Roman Mysteries’ stories, they already knew a lot, but even I learned something new.

In an Ancient Roman update (or is it a back date?) of Sesame Street’s ‘one of these things doesn’t belong here’, we discovered that things like soap or waxing hair were not used by the Romans.  But, the most surprising was that tomatoes – yes, tomatoes! – did not exist in Italy in ancient times.  In the country that gave us pasta alla Bolognese, this discovery was mind-boggling at best. 

That is, until you stop and think how much Italians copy things (from test answers to shoe designs, to cash card cloning to most everything).  Only thing is, unlike the Chinese (or the Americans for that matter – who gave us instead Tuna Helper, Olive Garden restaurants and The Venetian in Vegas), they tend to make them better.  Ford may have given us the Model-T, Italy brought on the Ferrari.

And so it was with tomatoes.  They supposedly took that pasta from the Chinese and opened ristoranti far and wide.  Prosecco is beating Champagne right out of the market, and kiwis?  What the New Zealanders thought was only theirs, is now exported in even greater quantities from the Bel Paese.  Heck – it’s said that they were Egyptian Pharoahs who sent slaves up mountaintops to bring back lemon ices.  Now, you find them sold off street carts in Spanish Harlem.

It was only so long before Italians would start copying each other.  Thus the latest rules & regulations governing all of their fine treats:  Prosciutto di Parma only from Parma, Prosecco D.O.C. only from Veneto, Parmigiano and mozzarella only from a certain type of cow…

But, considering the Chinese actually copied a Ferrari down to its decals, I predict it’s only a matter of time before we see gondoliers drifting up the Yangtzee River.

Food Fight

Just when we thought it was safe to enjoy ethnic cuisine…It wasn’t so long ago that you couldn’t find a thai eggroll or a piece of anago anywhere in the boot.  The Italians with their fine gastronomic sense, liked it so much, they even ate Italian whenever they were abroad – complaining between courses that it just wasn’t ‘buono’ like home. 
And so it comes as no surprise that in this age of intolerance for things ethnic (think: economic immigrants), that the battle would rage right in one’s pasta plate.  Not long ago, the fascists decided to purify the Italian language, using propaganda and posters in order to convince the population to follow suit (much like they do in France and Quebèc today).  Today, the poster child for this new intolerance is a McDonald’s burger no less.  But, hang on -- that’s American! 

Yes, but the burger pictured – just in case you didn’t read the writing – has the map of Italy seared right onto it.  Telling us that the meat at mickey d’s is red white and green (which, after that fine meat is added to all the mixings – well, there might be some truth in advertising after all).

Next thing you know, falafel and kebab (think: gyro) shops are being banned from city centers.  With all the flack about how they are ‘un-Italian’, people forgot that those juicy Italian burgers have been banned from many a centro storico for a long time.  Mostly, for the bright fluorescent lights, ubiquitous advertising but, even more so, the odours. Although I’m all for it, frankly, I think it’s more for the fact that they take away business from the panini shops nearby.

What Italians have forgotten altogether is that back in the day, Italy was a very diverse country with people flocking here from all ends of the empire.  You would probably have seen a falafel guy cooking right next to the burger dude – kind of like a New York City street corner.  Spices, meats, heck, even people were traded all over the empire.  And, where did those traders stop when they got a bit peckish?  At one of the many ‘take away’ stands lining the streets. 

So maybe someone needs to spin this story the right way.  It was Ancient Rome who brought us ethnic food and take away service.  And in a country that loves its traditions, what can be more traditional than that?

Making Tracks

This in from my no. 1 fan, Davide - grazie mille!


The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.

Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used. Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that same wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England because that was the original spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those oddly sized rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? Ancient Romans formed the initial chariot ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Therefore, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman chariot. Thing is, chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses (or, two horse's asses).

And now, for the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, you'll see two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.

The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

In short, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.

So, the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder, 'What horse's ass came up with it?', you may be exactly right.

I don't know if this story is true, but I love it regardless.

Italy Travel Edition - What to do on holiday

Perusing my photos of one terrific summer, I thought I’d give you a brief recap of all the wonderful things there are to see and do in Italy, not that any of us thought otherwise. After all, we endure the petty inconveniences I write about in my blog, because they are made up for them in spades by the stunning beauty and wonder of such a country. So, even if you stay in the boot for August holidays, you will not be disappointed.

Although I missed out on my usual summer fare of open air concerts and cinema, I still beat the heat with Gelato in the Garbatella – it doesn’t get much better than this, with the tastes of Dark Chocolate, Tutto Nutella (basically, frozen nutella) and Apple & Cinnamon (admittedly, a very American taste) and delicious Mango on offer.

The Capitoline Museums – with the refurbishments, the history, and the excellent displays, we stayed all day.

The Colosseum – although the Vespasian exhibit wasn’t as promising as it would have made us believe, back inside the Colosseum was still exciting after all these years. But, for all, the Rome Rewind 3D show was more fun than any of it.

Of course, no visitor to Rome leaves without seeing my favorite museum, the ACEA Montemartini electric plant – juxtaposing 1st century statues with the huge generators which once lit up Rome. It is truly a sight to be seen. And, with no visitors, you have the place to yourself (with the exception of being shadowed by the totally bored guards who follow you as if you were going to sneak a 6 ft. high, 2 ton solid marble statue under your shirt on your way out the door).

Isola Tiberina – where you can lounge on comfortable couches like Emperors in days of old at any one of their riverside bars & restaurants and enjoy the people watching.

An Angels & Demons Walking Tour around Rome – even though I can’t fathom Dan Brown as good literature, he can at least tell a (fairly) good story.

And finally, visiting the Abruzzo where we explored an amazing cave, the Grotta del Cavallone, after having driven around gorgeous, winding roads, straight out of central casting for a car commercial, to discover this grotto – the highest cave around (see photo). We visited charming towns of Civitella Alfedena, Roccaraso, and Fornelli (a walled borgo). Interspersed with outdoorsy things like paddle boats around the stunning scenery of Lago di Barrea and trekking up those terrific hills.

But, to top it all off, a stay in the Sabine Hills with good friends, children playing, daily BBQ parties, pools and people and dogs of all ages coming and going -- need I say more? A good time was had by all.

Coming soon: The other side of the coin of tourism in the Bel Paese

Doing as Romans Do

Last month, I was fortunate enough to hear my favorite Edutainment guy, Alberto Angela (host of the show, Ulysse) who, along with his dad, Piero Angela (host of the Quark series) make it the only two guys in Italy (aside from yours truly, Caroline Lawrence and The History Channel) who make history entertaining. He regaled us with stories from his just published in English book, A Day in the Life of Ancient Rome.
[for a funny version by Rick Steves, go here.]

What was at once totally wonderful and – admittedly – depressing, was that, in these 2000 years, not a whole lot has changed. After reading Colleen McCullough’s The First Man in Rome series, boy, that point really hit home! Between the politics, the affairs, the theater, the filth, the intrigue...Basically the only difference I found between then and now was that, in the old days, actors were seen as only one rank above prostitutes and singers were usually slaves. Nowadays, actors not only are royalty, they even marry into Europe’s royal families. Makes you wish for days of yore…

But I digress. Here is a short list, alà Alberto Angela, of things people complained about in Ancient Rome (people like Marzio, who would have been today’s equivalent of a learned David Letterman or in the very least, a blogger):

Traffic – the Romans had strict rules for when you could come into the City Center with your mule, much like the ZTL zones today. Not only that, whenever a politician’s posse came riding through, all traffic was stopped to let them get ahead, just like those omnipresent and obnoxious blue cars of today. In addition, Roman roads were constantly filled with holes and in need of repair

Pollution -- While today it’s car pollution and small particles, in the day, it was the smoke arising from nearly every fire pit around town.

Immigration – everyone seemed to complain about the arrival – in an already crowded place – of more and more immigrants from across the empire. The higher up you went in the multi-storey building, the more people you’d find crowded into single rooms – not like the state of the poor immigrants of today.

Housing – there was a huge shortage of housing, with people speculating on the real estate and building, just as today. Although I imagine that they all didn’t enjoy ‘second houses’ while many flats were left empty due to fear of renting them out.

Justice System – there was a very long waiting list for court cases to go through the system; today, it’s an average of 5 years. They also had spectacular court cases like the current Amanda Knox case in Perugia, giving rise to Judge Judy and her ilk.

Misc. – Rome was a very dangerous place by day or night, and, along security was a huge issue back then as now. Graffiti was commonplace and an eyesore, except I think there’s was even more permanently carved in stone. And finally, as a sign of demise, of course, there were the low birthrates and the high divorces.

Pretty much the biggest difference was the advent of household appliances: fans, blenders, ovens, water spouts. You name it: in ancient times, these duties were carried out by slaves but today, these little objects still respond to the commands of the master of the household.

And who says history doesn’t repeat itself?

Roma Nascosta - Really Hidden Rome

Well, this week we were greeted with totally cool news: a bunch of underground archeological sites, heretofore unseen by the general public, would be opened in an exclusive showing. And we thought we had the place pretty much carved right up! The release was picked up ‘round the world, but with no snoopy reporter offering a clarifying followup question.
Problem is, in keeping with tradition, the places remained hidden from public view, even in the newspapers and on websites. Incredibly, but typically, they simply forgot to provide the details – oh, say, like names and, how to make a reservation (obligatory, however). They went all-out to make sure they got the standard quote in order to fan the ego errrr.. feathers of the town Mayor, however. As if his comment is going to send a rush of fans to the front doors.
Sadly, from Milan to Messina, huge posters often go out announcing the event, only to have neglected key details. I've even seen signs up all over town for performances, but missing the date. Sometimes, you'll find a new-fangled website, the name of which you will never ever remember upon leaving the station. For a show on Garibaldi, for example, the site might be: fondazioneperilrisorgimento.camicierossi.it
In the event you do remember the logon, you have to click through in a sort of Finding Nemo sort of fashion in order to find what you’re looking for, only to be timed out upon ticket purchase.
I started thinking that perhaps they had simply made Hidden Rome into a sort of archeological dig theme party. The ones who manage to pick out an underground site, go to google street view (oops – that wouldn’t work, as it’s below the ground), and stand in line (oops – that was for hot cornetti) and make it in, would be treated to a host of netherworld delights.
The first clue was to be found on posters with a call in number (as if I would be able to write down all the names, opening times, and locations). I opted instead to try my luck at the Rome City website. There, I started clicking away, down to artistic sort of things, giving new meaning to the term, 'carpal tunnel', and lo and behold! I could download a pdf of the entire week’s programming. (but only because I’m in the business, did I know to click on the very last item on the list, Zetema – as if that name was a dead giveaway).
This is actually an improvement: In the past, I would have had to fax in my i.d. cards, promise my first born and attach a picture of me kissing the last pope’s ring colored in burnt sienna in order to obtain the pdf file. I feel I’m way ahead of the game – if everyone else has as much trouble as me, perhaps the lines will be considerably shorter. I’ll keep you posted on what else I dig up.


Here is the magical pdf file link
Please note, check back periodically for this initiative as it runs off/on throughout the year.
For reservations: Tel. 060608 or see the Zetema site.

Francesca Maggi's...Strange But True!

Now that my free newspapers are back publishing, it looks as though September really started out with a bang. And with it, some wonderfully surprising things have taken place.

First off, the Mail Carriers actually went on strike to oppose the mandate for nearly non-delivery of August mail. This outcry was picked up by the Consumers Associations who complained that it left the poor elderly folks stuck at home without pension checks and without their weekly crossword puzzles, not to mention without their kids to help out -- all on vacation.

It seems that the Poste Italiane has taken the McKinsey assessment literally: That they shouldn’t be in the mail delivery business. Problem is, the privatization won’t occur until 2011. Until then, expect empty mailboxes.

Rome’s Demolition Mayor is finally able to get something dismantled. Only this time, everyone is applauding. Under the last administration, plans were made to build a 700 car parking lot in one of the most beautiful outlooks over Rome: the Pincio Hill in Villa Borghese, just above the Piazza del Popolo; ruining the panorama for millions of tourists and also the beauty of the park. Never mind that there was no feeder road into the garage for all those cars they expected.
It was as if they had picked the best spot on earth and said, yeah, let’s ruin it. It was a disgrace and thankfully, under the guise of “precious ruins underneath” it ain’t gonna happen. In our euphoria, we’ll also ignore the fact that the mega parking lot just across the river (which the Vatican had plowed through ancient villas) stands virtually empty.

And irony of ironies, Minister Carfagna (ex-topless model who sold her body to calendars and magazines alike) has taken her title as Minister of Equal Opportunities to heart and presented legislation that will arrest the johns along with the hookers.

It will get the women off the streets, but will it really dent the demand?

The Insider's Guide to Rome

Since moving to Rome, I’ve become quite popular with visitors. I mean, in Milan I think I had 17 guests in 12 years. In Rome, I have something like 17 visitors a month. For some reason, though, I don’t think they’re just coming to visit me, but, heck, I’ll play along for the fun of it. As a result, and because I actually work with the crème de la crème of Italy’s museums, people are always asking me for some extra ‘insider’s scoop’ about what to do in Italy that’s good.*

- Even if you’re not new to Rome, I'd suggest the bus tour around Rome just to sort of take it all in (Citysightseeing gets my vote, just for the graphics on the side of the bus) although the audioguide absolutely stinks on all of them. Better just to sit back & relax and enjoy the sites from this vantage point. Be sure to hop off to check out the Trevi Fountain, Piazza Navona, and other locales not reached by the bus.

- NEAR PIAZZA VENEZIA: visit the fabulous Doria Pamphilj Gallery (right off of Piazza Venezia in piazza Collegio Romano). It’s the only collection of its kind in the world, all rehung just like in the 1700s. Even more incredible: the family still lives on the premises! Open on Mondays, which is nice when most museums are closed. The free Audioguide is exceptional, where Jonathan Doria Pamphilj tells you the history of the family and about the works. (confession: I produced it).

- While near Piazza Venezia, go up to the top of the huge white monument to Italy's first king, Vittorio Emanuele (that's him on the horse). It also holds the Monument to the Unknown Soldier. If you take the steps (and save 7 euros on the ride), you’ll find artifacts from Italy’s becoming a united country. There’s an (expensive) cafè up there, but the views are worth it.

- VILLA BORGHESE: Have a picnic in Villa Borghese. With young kids, check out the LETTER BOXES which people (including my niece&nephews) have hidden around Rome. Leave your mark. To get around, rent a peddle car thingamajig or bike and go exploring! There's a small pond to row in, sculptures, museums, cafès, a zoo, and even a replica of Shakespeare's Globe Theatre (Italian only).

- Still in Villa Borghese, there’s a wonderful cafè just atop near Piazza del Popolo. At the bottom, the unassuming church holds two amazing Caravaggios.
Or, have a fabulous lunch on the terrace of the Galleria d’Arte Moderna. Or, better yet, try their amazing Sunday brunch (also available during the week) – Check out the spread before seating yourself down -- the food’s Italian but the setup is American-style: you can actually go back for seconds!!! The Gallery has a rich collection of exceptional Italian modern art (to be differentiated from contemporary art).

- OSTIENSE AREA: For those a bit more daring to go out of the city center, not far from the Pyramid (Piramide) – there’s even a metro stop there – is the Testaccio neighborhood. Although now in for the clubs and bars, you can still find typical Italian trattorias and an amazing pizzeria (just look for the crowds).

- Up the road on the Viale Ostiense, is my favorite museum in all of Rome: the ACEA Electric Co. museum. You’re in for a surprise when you see the 1st and 2nd century sculptures juxtaposed with the huge power plant. Kids love it.

Go there in the evening, and you’re very close to an outrageous Happy Hour place, Doppio Zero (OO). They have a buffet the likes of which you can only find in Milano. Too bad, it’s all indoors.

- Trains leave from the pyramid to my favorite ruins in Italy, Ostia Antica. I produced an amazing Artineraries Audio Tour of it (see below). It's only 1 euro each way, it beats driving, and, in the park is an excellent self-serve dining area, but bring water. The museum, worth the visit, is only open in the a.m. There are also boat trips to Ostia, but, I've never quite figured out how and if that works.

- VATICAN: Obviously, no visit to Rome should be without this (I also offer an Audio Tour narrated by none other than Art Historian, Sister Wendy Beckett from PBS/BBC fame). But, go up to the top of the dome for a magnificent view (not for the faint of heart). Keep all kids on a leash, up to age 18.

Visit nearby Castel Sant'Angelo, the round Hadrian's mausoleum cum prison cum fortress and take a view from the top. All summer long, it's open in the evenings with comedians, magicians, musicians, food, and, the passetto walkway to St. Peter's along the wall is open, too.

- Near Bocca della Verità: In the eves, catch an outdoor jazz concert at Villa Celimontana, one of the best venues on earth for it's program, food, and, yes, you heard it here, Service. (There are also great summer concerts at Ostia Antica's ancient Theatre).

Just nearby, you can visit the Ancient Roman Domus which also offers a terrific guided tour with actors who show you how life once was.

Jazz not your thing? Every evening you can find classical music in the Teatro Marcello nearby.


Of course, you can always download my tours of St. Peter's (& Vatican Museums), Ostia Antica, Pantheon & Assisi (always worth a day trip or more) at : www.touringtracks.com

*And so, dear readers, you now know why I truly do love living in Italy!!!

The Fall of Rome: Redux

I now know how Rome fell. Historians have been arguing for the better part of 1500 years (since it regrouped after the fall), for the exact reasons why. But I know.

It was the insipid TV Tax.

Well, not quite exactly, but close.

After the Goths, the Barbarians, the Despot Emperors and the Popes ran off with pretty much everything there was to run off with, leaving a few dozen cattle grazing in the Forum, a few tax authorities and what was left of the store owners, decided to pretty much pillage the population to make up for the losses by overcharging and overtaxing the populace until they simply threw themselves in the Tiber or ran off to Gaul, where corporate and church greed promised great rewards.

At that time, Rome was reduced from a peak of 1.5 M people, to about 25,000 (although who was left to take the census, I’d like to know.)  Trying to make up for the tremendous fall in revenues, the Romans soon found themselves with a faulty postal service, taxes on all the roads leading to Rome, taxes on hay for their horses, taxes per chariot wheel (if they owned one), taxes on candles for lighting, and prices on basic foodstuffs, namely bread & pasta, through the roof. Salaries, of course, were nonexistent, having plunged into subsistence living standards.

Bandits of course were making out, like…well, bandits, which was the most successful enterprise in the country.

And in all this, I’m sure that encased somewhere in the Virgin Vaults was a papyrus scroll which set forth the tax on listening to public speeches in the forum.

Even if you weren’t exactly listening, but just happened to be waiting for your husband, or turning tricks, you’d be taxed for having been in earshot.

Fortunately for us, there were as many tax evaders back then as now, for without them, Rome would never have made it to the Renaissance.

Every so often, the RAI State Television, in cohoots with the tax authorities, unravels an old parchment of their own.  Citing a 1938 law (well before TV was ever even imagined), they are setting out to recoup all the losses in TV Tax revenues from all the people who claim not to have one, or just don’t cough it up.

They state that every household must be taxed if they have any sort of gadget that can receive any sort of image; that means, cell phones and pcs, macs and iPods.

A few years back, the tax was 200 euro (already more than double its pre-euro level). This year, households starting receiving bills for over 600 euro, along with letters threatening to put ‘the boot’ on cars and garnishees on wages if they didn’t pay up. Consumer’s Unions are fortunately on the attack, having filed a formal complaint for “abuse of office”.

It is hard to fathom the reaches of this kind of thought process. But perhaps the tax authorities can take a cue from a brethren, Karl Marx. As he so astutely paraphrased,

“History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.”