Meet Italo - Italy's Other Train Line

I have long preferred Italy's sleek train line, TrenoItalo or Italo Treno (depending on their web master's viewpoint) to Italy's Trenitalia FrecciaRossa service. I still stand by this rave review (below), although I *wish* they would add to their groovy announcements to shoo people away from the doorways when they come into the station. The smokers stand - even on the steps - to cop a quick smoke, making you walk through their disgusting nicotine haze just to find your seat.

Back in the day, I had given it the white glove treatment, and on the whole, it came out in flying colors, namely red, like the Ferrari it purports to be.  Only time will tell if it's the hullaboo of a big opening, or if their idea of putting service back into the train system will work [still going strong!]  We can monitor their five-star opening, and see if the star eventually falls out of the sky, piece by piece, like the Red Arrow before them, or see, unlike Trenitalia, they're able to keep up the promise of You deserve better when you travel.

So, let's take my experience on the spanking new Italo train from the top:  

Anyone who's lived in Italy knows that Italians love to have two wholly different brand names for any major thing -- like Fiumicino/Leonardo Da Vinci airport, or the Mona Lisa/La Giaconda.  I'm not sure where this practice started, perhaps with Popes taking new names when they became the Big Formaggio.  So with Italo Trains.  The website says Italo, the trains are called Italo, the trains, company and other communications shout out NTV (which always makes me think that they're competing with MTV - Music Television and not Trenitalia/Ferrovie dello Stato).  
Note: They *finally* got the memo and stopped with the NTV nonsense. So now up on the board you will see ITALO, as it should be.
The website reaches near-nirvana, with its easy-on-the-eye graphics, fun things to see and do, pages that actually go where they say they will, and the ease of making a ticket purchase without having to have a PhD in deciphering hieroglyphics just to see your options.  I got two low-cost tickets for about 20 euro each to my destinations (Rome-Florence/Florence-Milan), half price on most fares.  The English website, while needing some touch-ups, is pretty much as good as it gets.
At the Rome Tiburtina railway station, a greeter welcomed us in the bowels of the station and sent us seekers of all good things to the lovely waiting room up in the piazza. Open to all travelers - not just those who have paid an annual Club Card fee.  Their friendly, informative staff helped all and sundry - and the best part was, dogs were welcome!  I would imagine that if we still had luggage carts, they would have allowed them in as well, unlike the competition.  Huge clocks right in the doorways made everyone's life easier as did the setup for laptops and recharge stations. 

[A note about the new redesign of Rome's Tiburtina train station:  Someone finally made the connection, only after 160+ years, that people traveling by train actually carry luggage.  They have built RAMPS up to the platforms. Traveling with a huge bag, doggy bag, computer bag & and other sundry items, there are no words to express my gratitude.]

On board the train, it thankfully had none of the features of the miserable Eurostar.  Seats were comfortable, made for real people under 6' 1", and bathrooms were clean.  I'll update this in a year's time (still fairly clean, especially in a Covid world). Internet on board works well, and you still don't need an internet connection, four aliases and a papal decree in order to log in and run it (see: Trenitalia).
We arrived in Milan about 20 minutes behind schedule.  Which made me wonder about the NTV logo sporting a speedy hare.  After all, even Italians grow up with the fable of the tortoise and the hare...But, I've said it before and will say it again, Italy is nothing if not brand image-challenged.  Nonetheless, even if NTV did use a tortoise logo, I will look forward to never having to venture into a Trenitalia website nor on board a Trenitalia train again.  Now, if NTV could just open up in the USA, offering hey - MTV videos as well on board, life would be a dream.

Postscript:  While I love all the creature comforts, I pray that little by little they don't whittle down all these features as their TrenItalia brethren did.  Back in the day, we were offered a banquet of customer perks from private meeting rooms to welcome drinks and free luggage check; only to see them all removed, one by one, once the customers came on board.
A 2020 Update: Well, they took away the waiting rooms and fab outlets in all the stations...no more greeters either. Their staff still remains friendly as always, and the smokers still perch in the doorways...

Pictures of my train experience can be found at Irreverent Italy Facebook page.

Travel to Italy - Booking Online Trains, Hotels & Automobiles

Rome, Sweet Rome

This past August brought me from Cefalù, Sicily up to Florence & Tuscany (to Il Grande Prato Agriturismo), to Milan, Como, Verona and onto Lucerne and Geneva, Switzerland and ultimately over to Annecy, France for a hearty helping of fondue. [Let's just say, between the inclement weather up north it was decidedly therapeutic.] So you can imagine my elation of coming home to Bella Roma, with its sunny days and empty streets and heck - even the hordes of dumpster divers appear to have taken August off.

While in the past I've picked on the places where this country dependent upon tourism makes continuous #touristfails, I'd have to say...I was pleased as prosecco during my travels, so I thought I'd share some of the Amore with you...Starting with the trains that got me to where I needed to go.
I love train travel.  And the trains are so spiffy, the waiting rooms with wifi and with Italo leaving right near my house, it's truly a pleasure.  Although, I'd gladly take the conversational compartments and the low fares back any day of the week.  And, the cellphone-less travelers, which is why conversations were being conducted in the first place.  ItaloTreno bent over backwards to help me with some ticket snafus, when they saw I had double-booked two tickets.  And most local trains I boarded including the glorious ones shuttling passengers back & forth from Palermo to Messina were pleasantly clean and air-conditioned.
On Trenitalia, the company I love to hate, as always their staff and conductors were the best thing on dozens of wheels. Their new Itinere food service providers even lowered the extortionist prices, and gave me a 5 euro coupon besides. Heck, they even mixed a Bellini for me during the drinks offering. Can you say, 'Benvenuto competition'?  And while I still have never successfully logged in on a train, and I still can't stand the blinding lighting, train designers have finally caught onto the concept that people actually tow luggage aboard.  Although it's Italo whose trains have the cutsie step that comes out so you don't have to hoist your bags like a Sherpa.
Online Bookings - Caveat Emptor or Carpe Diem?
In Sicily, you couldn't find a rental car if your life depended on it-which leaves me wondering why fleets aren't upped in the summer months there, but the trains and stations were so terrific, I didn't really care in the end. And while the proprietor didn't show up for a last-minute booking in Cefalù (and lied about it to Hotels.com), getting a morning ice cream-filled Sicilian brioche made it all better.
In Milan, I rented a car thru Economy Car Rentals which was efficient and inexpensive, although they said the price included the 'after hours pickup' - which I didn't have since Maggiore was open til 11 pm each night (what a change from years ago!)  They didn't cut me any deals on grace periods either but, I love them anyway. The convenience of picking up a car right at the train station is fantastic.
I used DirectFerries - UK for my ferry crossing from Salerno to Messina.  I was a bit nervous that I'd arrive at the boat and they'd say, Direct Chi??!!  Instead, an air-conditioned bus took me from the station straight to the port, a mini-bus came and picked me up at the entrance to escort me round the truckers loading up the ship, and the driver even ran and got me my ticket, while everyone welcomed my little pooch Archie with open arms (okay, I confess: the boat was practically waiting for me to board -- I hadn't read the fine print about arriving 2 hrs prior).  The ride was delightful with the only glitch: the woman purser who didn't want to let me have my dog with me on the deck (when everyone else said it was okay...).
It was the Swiss Train online system (sbb cff) that was the most difficult to work around when attempting the supersaver fares [Hint: they're offered only once you've committed to the train & time, like some wild teaser].  I spent over 10 hours booking tickets all around Switzerland (three times) and in the end, I never received a confirmation.  Thus the rental car when I got to Milan.  A friend says there's a Swiss train office right in Milan's train station - next time, I'll try there.
And, the icing on the gelato?  If you take Italo and you end up in Rome's Tiburtina Station (the boondocks, for most of us), you can imbibe in a terrific GROM gelato & shopping before your trip, and with a simple €1.50 bus ticket you can hop a ride on the railroad, over to any of the other Rome train stations...!  And at my beloved Ostiense station (where Eataly is to be found)?  Some lone, intelligent soul (or fatigued traveler) at Trenitalia has finally figured out that the airport train could use an elevator up to the platform - it's still a work in progress, but hey...Read here for what life has been like without it.
Now...if they would just re-institute the baggage handlers...Perfetto!

Roma Termini Train Station - a place where living comes to life

Longtime readers of my blog will know that I have a few select memes regarding Life in Italy - one of them being, that the entire country needs a crash course in Marketing 101. Heck-they can even choose one of thousands online and free! And so it was, when I caught the new Rome Termini Train Station ad - website - and marketing program.  But, I'll be fair.  Their website is truly terrific.  Thought out nicely, excellent graphics, and even user-friendly.  So on that front, kudos to you web designers!  One trip over there, and you can see all that Rome's Central Train Station has to offer. 
But then there it was...front and center, their cool new moniker. I can't decide if it is tongue-in-cheek like the Brits would do, or if they are totally serious about this.  It reads, literally, "Roma Termini: A place for living."  

Check out the Home Page - there's more to Rome's Train Station
than meets the eye!  http://www.romatermini.com

I imagine that what they mean by this, is in reality, "A place to experience the joys of life" or something along those lines. But, really? Because, when I think...a place for living, the hundreds of people actually living there come to mind.

picture from Il Tempo newspaper

Here, thanks to a mix of outstanding volunteer associations, our guests at least are treated to breakfast in bed - even better service than most of us get at home.

Volunteers help to do what they can for the homeless
in Rome's Termini Station
Adra Assoc

The other association that runs Binario 95 - a place that helps the mentally ill or infirm and locates beds around Rome does incredible work.  But their name?  Europe Consulting. Perfect for a marketing consulting firm in Brussels. Marketing 101 anybody? 

Train Travel in Italy: Riding back in time

I recently took the cool, cozy GoldenPass Classic train up into the Swiss Alps.  It was superb.  The huge (clean) windows, the 1940s dining car, the scenery...It was a blissful trip into the past while riding up into the clouds.  Anyone who has followed my blog or read my tweets knows that I love to hate the Italian train company. So much so, I’m expecting defamation papers being served at any moment.  And while they still have a way to go before they understand that web design is actually a profession, and not something you leave to your lover’s young son, I had a few laughs swapping stories with a cousin of mine over how far we have truly come in terms of train transport.

[Let me make a disclaimer upfront:  America absolutely sucks when it comes to train travel, their collective thrust of Amtrack under a Greyhound bus is both a disgrace and a tragedy from which we perhaps will never recover. So, by comparison, any country that can take you from a small town to a major metropolis in almost no time at all, and fairly inexpensively at that, is by my standards making magic.  It’s just that I travel often to Switzerland.  And when I come back to Italy, I almost always feel well, not like Dorothy returning from Oz, but a bit more like the Wicked Witch who got the house dropped upon her].

My cousin and I were reminiscing about our trips from Milano down south, just 20 years or so ago, by train. Sure, they cost a fraction of today’s prices, but we would be situated in cattle class.  Going home for the holidays meant standing in a crowded entranceway with a dozen or more other people, three-quarters smokers, or sitting on your luggage while all the other smokers on board made their way into your crawl space to cop a smoke when they didn’t just light up in the carriages themselves.  Hundreds more per train car were crowded in the aisles, again sitting atop of luggage, or on little collapsible seats.  When a conductor or the beverage cart had to pass, it was like whack-a-mole with seats and bodies popping up and down, luggage moved aside; as if we were participating in a musical chair marathon, only that there were no chairs to sit down upon. 

And that was because the compartments, made for six, when they didn’t carry entire families and luggage filled with every sort of amenity and gift imaginable, carried two people -- stretched across the seats as if a couple of bizarre modern-day emperors on cushiony litters.  If you dared knock and ask them to make room, they would hiss that they had reserved those seats [if they were polite].  And in actual fact, they had. 

TrenItalia - (then known as Ferrovie dello Stato - one of the many names their website still defaults to although no one on God’s green earth can actually type ‘Ferrovie’ let alone search it on Google) would allow people to reserve a zillion places, even though they only purchased one ticket.  The conductor refused to intervene in the skirmishes emanating along the 20 odd cars.  So there you were, standing all night long on an 11 hr train trip just to get to Rome for the holidays. 

Salerno further south was a 15 hr ordeal that not even sardines are put through on their way into their proverbial cans and I’ve since deleted from my memory banks all recollection of the heinous trips taken from Milan to Sicily in a combination of trains and all-night ferry boats, no cabins available for the ill-prepared.  [Although I must admit, the inconvenience made for a wonderful adventure usually having to do with long animated conversations, singing on deck, and brief flirtations--sleep is overrated anyway.]

On the bright side, you could take a train from the tiniest little town to pretty much anywhere on earth. And sometimes, you still can.   Although that prospect found you, like Spike, waiting for some sign of movement that wasn't a freight train passing at full speed in the middle of nowhere, your sights planted firmly on the horizon in the hopes that one might just show up before nightfall.

In short, today's three hour sprint - even with the standard delays - from Milan to Rome is a joyful breeze.  It almost makes you forget that you arrived sweaty up to the tracks due to lack of working escalators, or without a wallet given the pickpockets loitering behind you at the ticket machines.  But with their imposed ‘no standing room policy’ at least once aboard you’ll be sure to get a seat.  

You can find many more train insights on the TRAVEL TIPS section of my blog
and for a rundown of the EUROSTAR experience  Click Here
Rome's Airport Train Odyssey Here
and my quick review of the spanking new cool kid on the block, ItaloTreno

Rome Mayor for a Day

There's a political campaign going on around Rome asking you to post and click and join some movement or another and reveal what you'd do if you were Mayor for a Day.  There isn't a day that goes by in which I don't think obsess about that.   [If only citizen's suggestions were actually put into action, well, perhaps cities would be amazing places for all concerned]  So, in the spirit of the season, I thought I'd offer my wish list for my first 100 days; because I'd probably be run out of town or worse before the 101st.

Day 1   Internal Organization   
- Install a Cabinet of 50% women & a woman Vice Mayor (to top off that extra 1% of which we hold the majority)
- Toss out all the "advisors" and watch my budget grow (like the City 'on-staff' Doctor who never has to report into work but still gets paid approx €5000/month for services) - and with the extra money, open nursery schools and daycare for Altzheimers patients
- Make sure everyone uses their own unreimbursed mode of travel to their offices (and just watch how fast those bus services start working like a freshly greased wheel)
- Start enforcing absenteeism and docking pay

Transportation     
- Before giving TrenItalia one red penny for their abysmal train 'service', they would have to first: a) provide airport trains with space for luggage and no additional staircases inside the train b) add additional commuter trains and staff to clean them c) add an elevator to the airport track at Ostiense Station.  Then, they would have to extend hours for commuter trains so people could actually use them after a night out on the town.
- Build commuter parking lots for those who might consider taking a train or bus into town
- Build a foot bridge over the Via Imperiale from the Colosseum so cars no longer have to halt every time one of 7 million tourists passes by, and another one on the Cristoforo Colombo so people can flow as easily as the cars.  I might add one over at the Capitoline Hill besides.
- Make sure night buses are small and electric.
- Put ticket agents on every single city bus.  Believe me, you would pay their monthly salaries in a week.

Long Term Infrastructure (which creates jobs, I might add)
Start a 'Big Dig' from the Pontina to the Cristoforo Colombo to stop the buildups at one of the most congested arteries in all of Rome.
Ask a tourist (or better yet, me) to travel around Rome and redo all the incorrect or missing signage - such as the entranceway to the Tangenziale; removing all the signs for Rome's Auditorium and putting them near the Auditorium where they might actually do some good.
Turn the abandoned buildings of the ex-Fiera di Roma into a Science Center for children and families
Actually fine and force people to remove their illegal structures in Rome at their expense or risk of jail

Cut Costs
- Police no longer used for political escorts - if you want to make sure you won't get shot up, maybe it's better to not draw so much attention to yourself in the first place with dozens of police postings, lights flashing and 8 cars before and after you.
- Police no longer traveling in three or more to a car
- Meter maids must work on their own and not in tag teams; Meter maids also employed to give fines to owners of dogs who don't clean up their crap
- Bring in night watchmen on dog duty and levy hefty fines for infractions

Increase Revenues
- Take away the dreaded 'Tourist Tax' and instead make the Rom pay for their garbage removal services and property squatting.  €10/person/day to live on City property and, campers immediately towed and fined €5000 if parked on city streets.
- Advertisers and Outdoor advertising companies fined €2000 per sign that goes up and is illegal, political ads must pay for the space
- Instead of allowing new building, people will get tax breaks for picking up the abandoned ones and turning them into places of business

Improve the City
- Actually enforce all the rules & regulations that heretofore have been put in place (e.g., squeegees, prostitutes, illegal building and the like)
- Stop all tree 'pruning' and ask the Finnish Park Service (they're in the EU right?) to oversee any future cuts
- Force the private companies who cut down the trees to take away - at their expense - the hundreds of thousands of tree stumps they leave in their wake and replant them with proper, tall, magnificent trees as in the rest of the neighborhood
- Discontinue planting of nano-orange trees and replant the beautiful Roman trees that give us oxygen
- Force the paving firms to guarantee that the crosswalks will be white for at least 5 yrs and they must repaint within 24 hrs or pay a hefty fine when they magically disappear
- Allow citizens to photograph license plates of cars who nearly run them down while crossing on crosswalks and/or who are on cellphones or worse, texting - or those that double park and block crosswalks and then charge hundreds in fines
- Give tax advantages to stores and offices who don't use or turn off florescent signage at night
- Build - keep up - and enforce contiguous bike lanes throughout the city
- Provide toilet paper in every single school and start painting and improving the facilities
- Turn off the lights on the Colosseum every day a woman is murdered by her partner or ex.

Santa, Baby...are you listening?

**Items in gray have live links.

Italy by Numbers

Italians love to say that when someone is "driving them crazy" that "mi sta dando i numeri" -- like in Bingo, too many too fast so it boggles the mind.  Living in Italy, you often are boggled by the numbers: bus routes, highway speed limits, even the little signs posted to indicate overpasses (and not kilometers) on the roads, or the use of Roman miles vs English miles vs Kilometers on those same roads.
So on a recent trip on Trenitalia back home from Milan, I couldn't understand why, for no apparent reason, no one on board could figure out how to count.  Suddenly, people were found to be sitting in everyone else's seats.  It was playing out like a large game of musical chairs.  I would have chalked it up to tourists...but, something seemed truly amiss.

Things are looking up:
Trenitalia's competing numbering system (s)

I looked up and found the problem.  Trenitalia, in their unrelenting passion for providing no customer service, had decided to renumber all the seats.  Your ticket and seat were posted with a number.  Having done away with letters altogether.  Except that one look up on the wall, therein was the problem.  They had posted the new system without taking the previous one down.  I could not believe my eyes.
Reading the newspaper onboard, an Italian journalist complained how he witnessed two British tourist lose money when taking Rome's city buses:  The tariff had gone up from €1/ticket to €1.50. With swift Milanese planning, all of the ticketing machines on all of the buses had been tinkered with to accept the new amount and regurgitate a ticket in return.  Too bad, none of the machines had been painted over to change the €1.00 to €1.50, posted in extra-large digits. By the time the tourists figured it out, and started inserting more coins, it was too late -- their money had been swallowed up.  The journalist was embarrassed to overhear their epithet:  Leave it to the Italians for finding new ways to steal from tourists...
Of course, this episode may have occurred after the recent football win over England...and it was simply a case of sour grapes.  But as the journalist asked of his countrymen...
What would it have taken to just get it right the first time?!  
And Trenitalia is vying for the right to run the city buses of Florence.  Caveat Emptor, you Florentines.  

Lost Luggage? What (not) to do in Italy!

No sooner had I posted that TrenItalia was finally going to search for your left luggage or lost objects, than I lost my cellphone aboard an Italian train.  I decided to test drive their new service and see how I fared:

- The announcement was made on 18 Nov stating that people like me ("the distracted traveler") can now report their lost objects to the Ufficio Assistenza Clienti at the main rail station where they have disembarked.

Unfortunately for me, I did not read the fine print with the operative word, "subito" (immediately).  Although I had noticed my cellphone was missing right away, and even re-boarded to look for it, I could not find it.  It could be that it had been stolen off the little table in my distraction disembarking the train.

- Checking the Trenitalia website, however, this announcement has not made it to the computer screens of their online web content person, most likely the son of a manager's lover, hired to keep him out of trouble.  I began the Italian internot series of surfing the web (which generally feels like the surfer has actually been drowned by a massive wave).  

Clicking on:  

- Lost Luggage = Contact the City of Rome then trying

- Assistenza Clienti (Customer Assistance) = Contact the City of Rome then on to

- Lost Objects under the Station Services Tab = Contact the City of Rome

and finally, looking under 

- FAQs / Oggetti Smarriti (Lost Objects) you will find the Civil Code detailing why, in fact, you must Contact the City of Rome.

Each of these options boldly promised "For more information, click on Trenitalia website", of course with a live link redirecting you to ticket purchases only.

All of which provoked the question, Does the Mayor's office get involved?

- I of course was still operating under the assumption that should my cellphone have slipped and fallen, perhaps the Cleaning Crew might bring it in.  After all, my train was the last one in that night, and perhaps by morning it'd be found and handed in the next day to Customer Service.  So off it was to that very place.

- I was given the typical customer service song & dance that one commonly receives when faced with any dilemma: "No can do."  Followed quickly with, "You should have come in immediately, we don't hold objects, we can't help you..." and soon thereafter by the agent just getting up and walking away from her desk.  A forlorn soul behind her took pity on me, flicked some pages in a log book of lost objects (I am assuming, but it was probably their bets on the day's soccer match), and shrugged her shoulders.  I asked if they might at least list what I was missing and my contact info...but to no avail.  I offered that perhaps the cleaning crew might turn it in, and then how would they reach me?  In response, I was given a tiny over-copied slip of paper.  On it, the Magic Words:  Contact the City of Rome.  At least this time it was specified "Lost Objects Office", emails & other contact info.

- I was then told to file the "Police Report" in order to assure that my tel number would be cancelled by my operator.  The dept was located nearby, right in front of Track 13.

Going there, I was sent to Track 1 - about 1 mile away.  

- Thankfully, the police dept was actually on Track 2, so I only walked about 1/2 a mile.  Once inside, I began the wait - but after 40 minutes the same 3 people were still ahead of me.  So I up & left with the knowledge that my cellphone was now in use by some lucky chap who boarded the train that very morning.  So off I went directly over to a Vodafone store.

- Turns out, I no longer need a police report for them to cancel the SIM card & issue a new one.  New card in hand, I started receiving messages from the fellow that had my phone.  With a sense of humor, he asked if I might not top it up with funds.  

- I had an appointment at the Carabinieri later that day, so I filed a report - saying this guy clearly had my phone.  That "denuncia" (complaint) only took about 40 mins. to complete-they didn't ask for my first born, just my father's name. I would like to think that they'll track this guy down thru his cellphone that now appeared on my screen (as the Italians like to quip, La mamma of the idiots is always pregnant...). 

In short, the new TrenItalia fab "lost & found" service:  

(0) in communications

(Sub-Zero) if you only notice your missing item much later 

and in terms of efficiency (-25) Contact the City of Rome's lost & found office 

Once there, I can assure you, you will be sent to the police station taking hours to file a complaint, and, only in the unlikely event that your bag or object should ever turn up (assuming the gypsies haven't pulled it out of the rubbish bin first), you would need a return trip to Italy just to check on it and retrieve it.  (-100).

Oh - and to Contact the City of Rome?  

Try email:  oggettismarriti@comune.roma.it

Address:  Circonvallazione Ostiense 191

opening hrs:  

Mon-Wed-Fri 8:30 - 13.00 / Tues 8:30 - 13.00 & 15.00-17.00 / Thurs 8:30-17.00

Rome-TrenItalia-Bialetti Espresso Makers & other good things about Italy (including politics)

Of course, the absolute *best* news to come our way this month (other than the launch of my book!) was seeing Silvio Berlusconi get his comeuppance when finally he was delivered with the sorry news that It’s the Economy, Stupido.  [To his defense, he had relied on the Italian post office for delivery...so it came a bit late].   A bon vivant and symbol of all that is wrong with Italy (skirting the law, sidetracking the women professionals in favor of the professional women strippers, proffering rampant nepotism & cronyism, suggesting people don’t pay taxes all the while treating the judiciary with gross disrespect), he was finally forced to step down.  He may be down but this does not signify he is out.  Although he did very little for Italy over the last 17 yrs wandering the lap dance halls of power, he has vowed to play on...

In fact, fans of Silvio's will find that his record album, Il vero amore was released this month.  If that's not a case of a politician lying right through his teeth, I don't know what is.  Tell us about True Love, Silvio!

We are now faced with the prospect of his delfin – Angelino Alfano, the strange alien life form now at the helm of his party who I am sure if he took off his mask is in reality Admiral Ackbar.  Italy: the next Death Star.

I may be a bit behind on reporting this news, but after recently purchasing two wonderful tiny Bialetti Moka espresso makers (you know, the old-fashioned ones that you set on the stove only after spilling costly coffee grains all over the kitchen counter and then wait as it spits up the black gold all over the stovetop), I discovered a whole section of spare parts for it hanging in grocery & appliance stores around town.  Offering – at long last – the little plastic handles and tops to your espresso maker that you have, over the years, melted down to irrecognizable clumps of their former selves. 

Perhaps if they’d offered this years ago, the rest of the world wouldn’t have switched to the handy spill-proof pods & electric coffee makers by now.  Regardless, I say stock up now before they can only be found in archeological museums.

Rome continues to beautify itself.  This time, completing the restyling of the romantic Parco degli Aranci (the orange garden) on the Aventino hill which offers a stunning – and silent – view of Rome.  Also, the park across from the Bocca della Verità was done up and now sports a labyrinth of greenery for you to enjoy. But for some real treats in the area, head up the tiny street nearby - via dei Cerchi - and on the corner before crossing into the Circus Maximus you’ll find Cristalli di Zucchero.  It's a slice of heaven serving tasty treats including those mouth-watering macarons in every sort of flavor – my favorite rose - bagel sandwiches and chocolate-covered ambrosia, food of the gods.

Across the street from there & up a few doors is a newish wine bar serving great food 24/7 and excellent happy hour buffets.  Next stop: Piazza Vittorio, Rome’s largest piazza (remember, St Peter’s square is in Vatican territory) will be getting its own facelift.  And around there, even more treats to be had amongst the foreign foodstuffs &amp, cheap Chinese shops, and Rome's oldest gelateria.

Now if the city only spent more time & money on cleaning up its outskirts or enabling recycling, we’d truly be a shining jewel in the crown of city planning.

Elsewhere around town, the Province of Rome has installed hundreds of solar panels in schools everywhere.  And Yelp.it That website for allowing the lowly customers a voice was launched in Italy (I personally can’t wait to start uploading reviews).  

And finally, Trenitalia finally got closer to their customers by starting a lost luggage contact point with their Ufficio Assistenza Clienti located at each rail station (Really?! Italy's Trenitalia has a customer service center??! Hopefully it'll be an improvement on the one I went to at Rome's airport - with the doors locked and no one in the office once I infiltrated the premises or the one in Torino where the doors do not open automatically).  Of course, this news doesn't bode well when their illustrious website still informs you that you must file a complaint with the local police dept instead.

Luggage-less English speakers can also try their luck at calling the Phone Center (they speak English) but...that costs you money and...I wish you luck.

Regardless, this is still great news arriving only 172 years after people started losing their bags on trains since taking to the rails under the Naples' Reign of the Two Sicilies.  

But hey, as the Trenitalia motto reads:  Always better late than never.

Traveling to Italy? Don't get taken for a Ride

Before the (thankfully) inimitable TrenItalia took hold of Italy's national train company (and shook the Italians down in the process), I practically lived on Italian trains. For over 15 years, I travelled the swathe of the boot on average 6 days per week.  In a country that prides itself on the human contact, I enjoyed every minute of it.  
But then TrenItalia decided that train fares could be hiked up to meet "European levels" even though Italian salaries stayed put precisely at the salary level I had in my second job -- at the age of 23.  
But, every now and again, I am forced to take the trains to one appointment or another, and I will be first to admit that I love going city center to city center, the hassle-free service (except if you're actually carrying luggage), sleek trains and even bustling train stations.  But, every now and again, you must also conduct a quick reality check, and remind yourself that it's not just the illegal and shoddy 'taxi drivers' offering you a ride who wish to separate you from your money: you need to be quite aware of the next sneaky deal that TrenItalia is trying to put past you.
Nowadays, you get much faster service if you simply purchase your train tickets at one of the dozens of automated machines perched throughout nearly every station.  Believe me, it's faster than attempting to purchase over the internet, whereby you will get timed out, have to register, and, if you're a foreigner, not be able to retrieve your tickets...once you've submitted your firstborn child's social security number.
When attempting to take a slow (read: inexpensive) train to Florence or Naples, I kept getting hood-winked.  I'd input the destination and up would pop a number of trains, all coming in at the most expensive price.  Because I had checked the train schedule online, I was certain this could not be the case.  But, thinking that the local and often faulty trains perhaps had been discontinued, I carried on paying the piper.
Until one day, I noticed, at the bottom of my screen, a few choice words:  TUTTE LE SOLUZIONI or, in English, ALL SOLUTIONS (or perhaps, ALL TRAINS).  I clicked.  Suddenly, up popped all those missing cheap trains I had seen on the website.
So, if you're not in a hurry and don't care about having an internet connection, but actually just want to enjoy a comfortable ride in a proper wagon with other passengers where you will almost always have a convivial conversation with those around you, try this.  
You heard it here first.  And, you probably won't hear it anywhere else.  (Except TripAdvisor Forums!)

Letter from Milano

Spending a bit of time in Milano, I ended up cooling my heels at the Milan train station.  Always nice to sort of buzz around, if nothing else than to get a terrific lunch with fantastic service and uber-friendly personnel (I swear, it's Milan I'm talking about) at my fave place for a quick bite, Panzera.  You need the nose of a mouse in a maze to find it, but it's worth the effort (out the left side as you egress from the station, on the ground floor).  
I found the Garibaldi station nearby just keeps getting spiffier and spiffier, but I got totally confused when I came out of the metro, and found myself surrounded by tall skyscrapers. I thought that somehow I'd been tele-transported to Shanghai.  Of course, I realized I wasn't since there were no bicyclists in my midst and cars were trying to run me down while I wasn't watching (too busy craning my neck).
But, back at the capitalist heart of Italy, I noticed that the enterprising people at Trenitalia (our motto: Leave no Euro Behind) have decided to do away altogether with those big boards telling you when and from where, exactly, your train will depart. 
They've sold out the space to advertisers.  It's not all bad, as in your effort to catch a glimpse of the time table through the huddled masses (making a reverse Statue of Liberty statement) at one of only two teeny kiosks now pointing out crucial traveler information, you can rest assured that in the very least, you'll know what sunglasses to buy when you're forced back out of the station after you've missed your train.
So, passing the time whilst waiting for the NEXT train to come along, I took to reading the signage.  Italians love rules, and I had absolutely no idea there were 18 of them governing elevator riding alone.  Clearly, Trenitalia & Co. are trying their best to dissuade you from going up to the tracks without first passing the dozens of retailers you get to behold while riding their slow-motion sidewalks - an experience akin to the moving walkway at It's a Small World exhibit at Disneyland, except there are no cheery children's voices to seranade you as you're transported along at a ridiculously slow pace.
So, here are the rules for riding the elevator (or lift) - Take a look and discover your favorite [just click on foto to enlarge].


My favorites?

• Don't allow to use the lift to children under 12, if alone -- How can I disallow if they're by themselves?  Or maybe, it's me who's alone or maybe...whatever.
• Don't use the emergency alarm button if really necessary -- Really?!
• Drunken travellers are excluded from transport such as those who carry on objects that block on the lift, and those who, because of their status or their behaviour...Never mind I need a drink!

I later discovered it was actually an advert put up there by Facebook as to why you should never use Google Translate.

Tante Belle Cose - March 2010

Of course, that Spring is in the air, and we are now enjoying the ORA LEGALE (giving it a ‘legal’ moniker was the only way to make sure people actually moved the clocks ahead en masse), is certainly a gran bella cosa as we wrap up March.

Italy just held its Regional elections -- and that’s something else to be thankful for.  The kilometer-long eyesores of political slogans and signs with their huge faces staring out at us next to insipid slogans will finally be over.  Although, as late as 1985, 90% of Italians used to vote, thanks to general apathy, disgust, and most likely rampant cynicism, that percentage this year descended to American levels – 50%.  In ravaged Aquila, of course, the figure was even lower – people didn’t know where to go to vote (che sorpresa) but, did they even have their voter cards on time??

The Bella Cosa about elections is that in Rome, two women faced off for the Governorship of the region.  In a country where women don’t even make it to the sitting position at conference panels (the standing ones are the eye candy to ease the view of the pot-bellied octogenarians all talking on cellphones while at the presenters’ table), lest it be considered ‘non una cosa seria’; well, this was nothing short of a miracle.  People may actually start taking what women have to say seriously.  Score one for working women – one down for the “party of amore’ of yesteryear.  And, considering they're taking the place of the guy ousted after having a long term affair with a transvestite hooker in her / his drug den…well, things can only be looking up. 

While traveling, I discovered that the illustrious TrenItalia has a new phone app that will allow you to check schedules, heck, even buy a ticket with your phone.  Right now it’s being offered for free – get yours before they change their mind.  But, take my suggestion and read the fine print:  that ticket feature will probably cost you some exorbitant surcharge. 

Trenitalia is busy advertising ‘from’ 39 euro on the fast train to Milan/Rome.  You only need to try booking a month in advance…(try being the operative word).  But, forewarned is forearmed.

And speaking of train travel, at Milan’s train station, they’re rethinking the escalators and you can now sort of make it up to the tracks from the front of the station, as long as you don’t actually need the escalators – meaning, you have no luggage.  But, it’s still an improvement on the 20 minute (slightly) moving sidewalk up to your train. 

Newspapers finally made a cause celebre’ out of the fact that in the aftermath of the station’s restoration, they simply did away with the waiting rooms for the hoi-poloi while building sumptuous waiting rooms for the Club Eurostar passengers.  Made in all glass, you can feel just like the third class passengers on the Titanic as you stand in the freezing cold or sweltering heat with your luggage and little kids.  Pretty soon we’ll be seeing an orchestra playing bars and people in tuxedos eating caviar in there.  But for now, you’ll have to fight with the homeless for a slice of bench, one of the six lining the walls.

Another wonderful sight at Milan's train station was a policeman actually ask the loiterers who accost you at the electronic ticket machines to leave the premises and stop shaking down travelers.  It was a scene out of Norman Rockwell, and it warmed my heart.  So much so, I’m almost ready for a new trip on TrenItalia – especially if it’s only 3 hours from Rome to Milan!

Numbers Games

Yesterday, I was contacted by my gym with an enticing offer on my renewal: “Same as last year, with 2 months free!!!, or, "Choose a fab FREE trip offer for a weekend -- yours, for only 185 euro more!!!”
What a deal. Almost too good to be true. It was.

Anyone who has lived in Italy long enough knows they need to park their American-style FREE offer mentality right at the front door. America, with its gross “all-you-can-eat buffets”, if tried in Europe, would have been bankrupt right after that very first Thanksgiving dinner. In Italy, don’t even THINK about going up to the buffet table twice, and, try piling it on, you’re charged more in the end. Even McDonalds charges extra for the ketchup.

In Italy, your Frequent Flyer mileage card is yours, for only 150 euro per year! Every month you receive an update of services on your CartaViaggio by Italy’s illustrious TrenItalia, the company that has singlehandedly taken price gauging to new heights; except the listing includes all the new services you no longer will be receiving, along with a price increases of the most basic ones. They even tried getting us to clean up the cars for them; that didn’t fly, so pretty soon we’ll soon be charged for cleaning service alà RyanAir…

Collect points at your Grocery store or Gas Station? You can get your free toaster or CD player by submitting 10,489 of them (the equivalent of 2800 euro in expenses), and then claim your gift for another 129 euro – free! Every Christmas, I present myself at the GS store to get a truly free gift, only to find they’re ‘sold out’, try back tomorrow. Too bad the points expire at year end. I’ve yet to get as much as a mere frying pan out of GS.

After all, this is the country that has duped 40 million workers into believing they actually get an extra paycheck each August holiday and Christmas. In a purely 3-card monty card game, they have merely taken your annual pay and divided it by 14 months. For a country based on mistrust of every institution, there isn’t an Italian in Italy who believes this last statement to be true. Don’t ask me why.

As for my Wellness Town offer? The two months are NOT free – you just don’t pay for 2 months straight away, and then pay an added amount each month for the remaining 10 months. Saying, 'no thanks' to the “free” trip, I received another call later:

“We have a new offer to make you. If you renew now, you’ll receive a free trip along with your membership.” Is it a case of severe Cognitive Dissonance, or, simply hoping you have early onset Alzheimers???

Tante Belle Cose - March 09

At face value, it sounds almost too good to be true: Trenitalia has announced that it will offer cheap train fares just like the discount airlines. This is great news, except that will probably signify that traveling around Easter or Christmas could cost you the equivalent of a round trip airfare to Sydney.

I haven’t determined whether and by how much I’ll get penalized for being a last minute buy-at-the-station, but, I can imagine it won’t be pretty. And, considering that the online bookings don’t accept foreign credit cards, tourists will most likely seriously be hit right in the wallet.

I am not making this up: Those ever-inventive Italians have come out with a low cholesterol cheese. How’d they do it? By feeding their cows low cholesterol foods! Grains, seeds, the works.
All I know is, I now have free reign to eat formaggio with wild abandon…and if they could work their wonders on the heavenly (and outrageously fattening) Burrata (read: milky white butter) well, all my cares will be free.

And, again, what’s good for the passengers fares less for Trenitalia…A guy won an incredible lawsuit (payment: 1650 euro) for being forced to travel in an unheated wagon on his commute. While I don’t agree with the cost of his 30 min. discomfort, by these calculations I should be a millionaire. In any case, considering the number of times I’ve traveled in ice cold compartments, on my feet, or in sweltering hermetically sealed cabins, this is nothing short of a Miracle on the order of Sant’Irene di Lecce.
Thanks to the folks at the Associazioni Consumatori, it looks like legal recourse is finally going to be settling in to stay. Those thousands of commuters who sit on the tracks to protest the drastic conditions, disgusting bathrooms, and immense delays may finally get their day in court.
It’s a new world.

Business Weak

Time for my update on business practices in the Bel Paese – instead of TQM (Total Quality Management), we could call it Total Quagmire Management. Naturally, all of the usual suspects garner honorable mentions.

Turns out Alitalia has accumulated a nice little art collection of sorts over the years. So much so, it’s currently being appraised by Christies. It’s unclear whether that is for eventual sale, or if our new owners at the CAI want to know which are the best pieces to hang in their living rooms.

While over at State-run television RAI, a new President has been put in place. An octogenerian. So much for career advancement and bringing in new blood. Although one could argue that if the only people left watching state TV are Italy’s ever-aging population, perhaps he more than anyone could make the picks like the health shows and armchair travel specials. And just think: it’ll surely make things easier for actors looking to errr…rise to the top – I don’t think at that age even Viagra can help.

Meanwhile, an exciting new initiative has been announced in an effort to combat childhood obesity, which is taking on epic proportions over here: appropriately named SAFE, the program will supposedly help people get on the right track. It’s a shame that the acronym stands for: Stile di vita, Alimentazione, Farmaco & Esercizio Fisico (Lifestyle, Eating, Drugs & Physical Exercise). Pardon me, but since when are drugs to combat couch-potato bodies considered part of a healthy lifestyle? Probably not since those little chocolate ‘diet helpers’ came out in the 70s called Ayds (okay, they didn’t know what was coming down the pike)...

And finally, the doozy of the week: the government decided in their infinite wisdom to bring about a bill to help ‘stimulate’ (read: wreak havoc upon) the housing market. Their bill would allow anyone and everyone to build up and over across terraces, front lawns, and wherever they can build, much to the chagrin of the neighbors. In short, it proffers legality on practices that are changing cityscapes as we speak – just ask anyone in Rome’s (supposedly unbuildable) city center; new rooftop constructions blocking once perfect views are the order of the day.
This legislation (which may now be modified due to the outcry), is all the more audacious due to the fact that it favors the one category (outside the mafia) which contributes the least to the government coffers. Builders. The ones who hire all their workers under the table to avoid the social costs, who only declare about 1/8 of their income for taxes, who purchase materials (namely, cement) illegally to avoid the VAT, who build without permits (and accompanying taxes), and the list goes on.
At least lobbyists in America actually give money to government projects and politicians in order to get their way –

Needless to say, this is the outcome on business when government officials interfere with free enterprise.

Tante Belle Cose for Travelers to Italy

You may have noticed I’ve been playing hooky for awhile, but, hopefully all will be forgiven as I have been picking up great experiences (and not so great – see left column) for the blog…But first, the good news (which does not include finding snackpack-sized Oreos in every airport and bar these days. Although it was seriously about time. I think Marco Polo even with his 20 year stint in China brought noodles here sooner).

While driving to and fro, the big electronic sign boards on Italy's highways have posted a new message (Heaven forbid they actually tell us about tie-ups):
Make sure you fasten your child in a child seat with seatbelt.

We don’t know what drove the authorities to come to their senses (pun not intended), much less if it will have any effect, but we still remain pleased. If it can just get one mother to reconsider holding la bambina in her arms, well, it will not be all for naught.

Of course, there will always be exceptions:
A woman in America was arrested recently for holding her baby in her arms – WHILE DRIVING. AND BREAST-FEEDING. AND SCRIPTING A TEXT MESSAGE. Talk about multi-tasking…

Also while making the rounds, I discovered Bagels being touted at the Autogrill!!! (sorry, couldn't resist the pun). Personally, I don’t like the idea of all these American treats on every thoroughfare, but I secretly rejoiced while downing one of their fabulous blueberry muffins…
Click here to find the Bleeding Espresso blog on where else to get awesome American goodies.

While in Rome, those monster buses have been rerouted out of the center. This is just one element of Mayor Alemanno’s drive to make the city center a better place and his work does not go unnoticed.
Although I found on those same buses a huge ad campaign explaining the new (increased) parking rates for those driving around…
Considering that the majority of bus passengers are immigrants, school kids and the elderly, I thought the message was a bit misplaced. Might have made more sense just to post the rates around the parking areas…

While traipsing through Fiumicino Airport (aka Leonardo Da Vinci) on a Sunday night, we were surprised to find the shops open (even if the exit doors were not). We don’t know if this is due to the recession, but, it was nice to see things lit up – even on Sundays – and in Arrivals. I also noticed that the airport departures lounges have gone silent (for the most part).
Great news for all of us iPod people…now we’ll really be in peace, but you really gotta keep your eye out for last-minute gate changes. I’ve nearly missed flights coming and going as a result.

And, good news for the train traveler, one of whom I used to be…but why bother when you can fly to London for less?? They now (actually for some time now) have a superfast train Rome-Milano.
But lest you get visions of bullet trains dancing in your head…Italy boasts the only superfast trains that go slow. But, they cut out the middlemen (Florence – Bologna) and now you’re on your way. Now, if they can only apply the concept to business…

Tune in this week for the Bad News for travelers.

Tante Belle Cose - October

The best news ever to come my way is that the Fabulous Federconsumatori managed to win a hefty penalty levied against Italy's Trenitalia for shady business practices. Anyone who has ever tried to book a ticket online (I've never succeeded but, hey...) knows what goes on there: promotions that disappear upon purchase, discounts that don't exist, out of frustration you're forced to dial their (pay) telephone number. No, they would never think to offer a toll free one.

Because of the fangs of consumer associations like Federconsumatori, I just know that I'll live to see the day when the monopolies stop treating you like a mere prey to be shaken down, and will start trying to earn your business. After all, it happened with Telecom Italia (well, they still prey on their customers, but many of us ran off to Vodafone, et.al. to get away from them) and it's happening now with the energy companies. Who knows? Maybe even Alitalia will have a reawakening...

As of November 1st, bars which have adhered to the Fipe-Confcommercio accord will block price rises for your morning cappuccino.

This is terrific news since prices now rival Starbucks, the greatest scam in the universe. Only problem is, in October breakfast prices clocked a 15% increment. In Italy, there is no free breakfast.

After the success of turnstiles introduced in government offices, it seems the government now wants to introduce them pretty much everywhere else. They now expect to make abut 350 more employees sing for their supper and start stamping their ins and outs of office. Not only that, Renato Brunetta's office announced he wants government offices to go completely email - inbox.

Seeing that the internet came around some time in 1989, it's about time. But, that's not to say you will ever get a response...I have yet to send in a COMMENT form and receive a reply in return...even when asking for business from companies...But, I'll keep my fingers crossed.

After all, hope is the last to die.

Visit Milan - A city on the Move

Back in Milano, it would appear the entire city is undergoing a facelift. And this -- well before Expo 2015. The scaffolding is almost all down off the stunning Duomo with its thousands of gargoyles. It only took a few years—and considering the 400+ years it took to build the thing in the first place, well, I’d say that’s nothing short of a miracle. The nearby Palazzo Reale is undergoing a refurbishing that will expand it’s already impressive show offering, and the trams running by have been repainted to their 1920s yellow & orange, adding a wonderful dash of color to a once grey cityscape.

Even the Train Station is getting a cleaning…What I once thought was simply a black building is now a dreamy cream. It’s a shame the Milanese deplore this fascist monument – it’s actually one of the spiffiest buildings in drab Milan. In fact, every now and again they try and cover it up with some godawful construction which ruins the entire approach from the front.
photo by Hanzibar
Years ago, they put up a thing which I thought was totally cool – a huge skateboard ramp on the piazza. Wow—now that was a City in touch with their citizens! After all, there are dozens of boarders at all hours on the huge piazza. Turns out, it was an immense lighting system -- so the hundreds of drug addicts out front could find their veins more easily. It was so horrid that even the City officials came to their senses and it was finally taken down. Yet no other city in Italy wanted the eyesore – even for pay.

Now, they’ve put up a totem about just as high and just as ugly showing us a countdown to the fast train or something. Considering we’ve been riding and paying for these trains for years, I would have thought the line was well-established by now. I wonder if the clock slows down every time the villagers take to sitting on the tracks to avoid the train from passing their way.

But inside, they finally took down the wall and steps from the central part of the building whose only purpose was to impede passenger movement. With that blockade, you could be sure to reach your train only after breaking a sweat from running the gauntlet of thousands of passengers trying to squeeze through the smaller side entrances. This was obviously the brainchild of the same committee that tried to instate an entrance ticket at one point.

While all of this is absolutely terrific news, of course, one could say that between the payoffs for putting things up and the bribes for tearing them down again, the Station is more than the gateway in and out of Milan – it’s the gateway for income distribution -- and a microcosm of the waste and deficit spending that one finds across the entire country. After all, wasn’t Milan nicknamed in the ‘90s Tangentopoli (Bribe City)??