The Way we Were...Italian Style

As part of my occasional series on how far we've come in Italy (from telephones to cinema chairs -- click to read posts) just in the last few decades or so, this post takes on our 'Information Age'.  In our over-blogged, tumbled, stumbled and tweeted world, it's said that a person today gets more information per minute than the entire contents of the New York Times back in the day (which is not to say that the information they get is quite as valuable as it was back then.)  Today, we can 'Channel Surf' hundreds of channels, with programming bursting on the screen 24/7.

But in Italy, it wasn't so long ago when we were fairly contented with just taking our pick of one of three stations.  We'd have those delightful presenter-women telling us what to expect on the tube momentarily, and then, we'd simply wait for the program to begin.  Wait. And wait some more. [We were blessed back then not to have adverts filling the synapses with their rowdy blathering and vacuous housewives]. So we just watched the clock. Literally.
And here's how it looked like as far back as 1986 [try and see if you can kindly refrain from checking emails / text msgs / twitter / facebook pages for the duration of the video]:

Other live links to The Way We Were above.

2012 Italy Year in Review

I love all those year end summaries you find across every category and across every type of media.  But, I'm too busy reading those, I confess I did not type up my own list.  Say what you will about next in line to be 'The Sick Man of Europe' (you might call it Greece's younger sister, la Bell'Italia), 2012 was the year that Italians woke out of their apathetic stupor and started taking on the problems that confront the country, while never giving up on what they do best: Arts - Culture - Events - Hospitality.  So, here it is, a short list of great things about Italy:

Colombus points the way toward a New World
- via Queen Isabella's court -

Great Art Discoveries/ One of the most charming towns (or Borghi) in Italy, Citerna got their Madonna back--a stunning work by Donatello, that had gone in for restoration. That's just one excuse to pay a visit to this wonderful Umbrian town (as if you really needed one).

While in Rome, the Carabinieri frequenting the market stalls of Porta Portese managed to return to an Art History professor 200+ works of inestimable value that were being pawned on the banks of the Tiber.  Now...to figure out how a simple professor amassed such a vast collection...

Then, news came from Palermo that a dozen works from the most valuable heist in the last 10 yrs were found in an abandoned farmhouse in Sicily. They had been pilfered from the church of San Nicola of Trapani.

In Madrid, the Prado showcased a 'new' Titian painting, that resurfaced after art historians decided they wanted a claim to fame it was his.

And finally, the Colosseum finally got the approval for a facelift after consumer's groups looked a major gift horse - donation by successful owner of Tod's - in the mouth -- although we lost the fun decidedly un-battle worthy Centurions in the battle in the taste wars.

I spent much of this year making my own discoveries, visiting new places far and wide, from the Tagliacozzo area in the Abruzzo to 'the city that's dying' in Tuscia, Bagnoregio, to the natural reserve high atop Arezzo, to a half dozen new Tuscan towns (well, new for me), serving up age-old delights.
Women in Italy find their voice / Post-Berlusconi, Italian women have finally decided to take matters into their own hands. They're sick of being mistreated by the media, by the politicians, by the church and by companies.  While Italy's (nearly all-male-run) enterprises still haven't woken up to smell the espresso--that women actually make household purchase decisions (and that includes autos) and still show us plenty of T&A in order to sell oh, say, most everything.  Rome's city govt decided to pass a law that ads that denigrate women would be censored.  As far as I can tell, it's been pretty well-enforced (unlike most laws - the streets of Rome are paid with good intentions).
In the Rome City Govt, women won the -stay with me here-Enforcement of the law already in place that would guarantee equal parts male/female representation.  The Mayor has done his best at playing 'dodge-'em' for three years, refusing to enlist women on his cabinet, citing the Romney line of defense: He's reviewed 'File folders filled with women' but no one willing or able to join his government. Italy's Prime Minister Monti happened to find more than a few tokens for positions in his cabinet, and a woman now heads up RAI Television.  Incredibly, Italians couldn't believe to see that their resumès are larger than their bust sizes.
Then, most recently, after woman after woman (1 every 3 days) is killed at the hands of a loved one or ex, even the EU joined the fray and reprimanded Italy to start figuring out a way to handle this pox on civil society. Which led the Church to chime in, with a Genovese pastor (you know, that city that loves to gush over native son Chris Colombus who discovered America with the help of noneother than the most influential woman of all time, Spanish Queen Isabella) and others stating that women are killed by 'domestic violence' because they dress too provocatively.  Women have come out to protest in the thousands.
And finally, an Italian researcher was lauded for heading up the CERN Particle Accelerator breakthrough - except she's a perfect example of Italy's advancing 'Brain Drain' in which the brilliant minds of Italy are turning their attentions where they can get ahead - and get paid.

The best thing in my year was
finding Arcibaldo

More in Culture / Eataly came to Rome, sprucing up the abandoned Stazione Ostiense and bringing new life to a so-so area, that hadn't seen much action since bombs fell on it in WWII.  With it, came the launch of my new heartthrob, ItaloTreno and their lawsuit win to open up the fence so people could board the train without having to run the Seal Team 6 gamut of escalators and stairs - all of which are out of service to passengers-and have been 'work in progress' for years now.  Let's just say, it took a shorter amount of time to lay the track throughout the Peninsula than to fix the escalator.  
In my world, instead, I launched my book (!) with book readings at Rome's Hotel 47, a monologue show at the Teatro Arciliuto, and invites to even our Camp Darby army base near Pisa - and now, tweeting! (@IrreverentItaly)   Rome's luxe hostel, The Beehive, launched new initiatives from a vegan dining experience, to film nights on planetary issues of our day, to wonderful films offering a great 'how-to Italy' featuring their kids.  They also hosted an Expat Writer Book fair, showcasing authors & publishers and their works around the Boot.  While this winter, we were overjoyed at the annual opening of the ice rink at Castel Sant'Angelo, in summer we loved the summer nights at the castle, with the long walk along the passetto, the wall connecting the Vatican and the Castle.
Italy gained a new holiday, after the extraordinary 1 yr celebration of a united Italy (150 years ago).  Each 17th of March (move over Saint Patrick, we're into Garibaldi nowadays) we'll pay our tribute to what the Lega Party (Northern League) is trying to dismantle, with wild claims of 'corruption in Rome' while their own party heads are caught with the hands in the till time and again.

http://www.gianfalco.it

Retake Rome gained more momentum as schools and citizens take on the travesty of graffiti that is ruining the 'most beautiful city on Earth'. And speaking of retaking Rome, Berlusconi finally got sentenced in one way or another, so is busy running for high office in another attempt to keep him out of jail (his 4 yr sentence in fact already being reduced to 1 yr for no apparent reason). Italy's cowardly parliament decided that jailbirds couldn't serve in government -- unless of course, they 'only' served a couple of years.
I finally got to put a human face and warm hand on my book illustrator and incomparable political satirical cartoonist extraordinaire, Gianni Falcone when we met on U.S. Election Night in Rome.  And, ACRoma, not only imported U.S. soccer player Bradley, they started touring the U.S. to play 'friendly' matches and draw the American crowds, to great success.  Not only did they tour, so did Jovanotti, Italian rapper - who liked it so much, he's moved to New York.  Another Italian talent lost but another American gain.
You can see more of the week in / week out amazing things to see and do in Rome and that fill my world in my column Dove Sono? (in the right hand side of the official blog page).

*check out the dozens of live links throughout this post!

Rome Mayor for a Day

There's a political campaign going on around Rome asking you to post and click and join some movement or another and reveal what you'd do if you were Mayor for a Day.  There isn't a day that goes by in which I don't think obsess about that.   [If only citizen's suggestions were actually put into action, well, perhaps cities would be amazing places for all concerned]  So, in the spirit of the season, I thought I'd offer my wish list for my first 100 days; because I'd probably be run out of town or worse before the 101st.

Day 1   Internal Organization   
- Install a Cabinet of 50% women & a woman Vice Mayor (to top off that extra 1% of which we hold the majority)
- Toss out all the "advisors" and watch my budget grow (like the City 'on-staff' Doctor who never has to report into work but still gets paid approx €5000/month for services) - and with the extra money, open nursery schools and daycare for Altzheimers patients
- Make sure everyone uses their own unreimbursed mode of travel to their offices (and just watch how fast those bus services start working like a freshly greased wheel)
- Start enforcing absenteeism and docking pay

Transportation     
- Before giving TrenItalia one red penny for their abysmal train 'service', they would have to first: a) provide airport trains with space for luggage and no additional staircases inside the train b) add additional commuter trains and staff to clean them c) add an elevator to the airport track at Ostiense Station.  Then, they would have to extend hours for commuter trains so people could actually use them after a night out on the town.
- Build commuter parking lots for those who might consider taking a train or bus into town
- Build a foot bridge over the Via Imperiale from the Colosseum so cars no longer have to halt every time one of 7 million tourists passes by, and another one on the Cristoforo Colombo so people can flow as easily as the cars.  I might add one over at the Capitoline Hill besides.
- Make sure night buses are small and electric.
- Put ticket agents on every single city bus.  Believe me, you would pay their monthly salaries in a week.

Long Term Infrastructure (which creates jobs, I might add)
Start a 'Big Dig' from the Pontina to the Cristoforo Colombo to stop the buildups at one of the most congested arteries in all of Rome.
Ask a tourist (or better yet, me) to travel around Rome and redo all the incorrect or missing signage - such as the entranceway to the Tangenziale; removing all the signs for Rome's Auditorium and putting them near the Auditorium where they might actually do some good.
Turn the abandoned buildings of the ex-Fiera di Roma into a Science Center for children and families
Actually fine and force people to remove their illegal structures in Rome at their expense or risk of jail

Cut Costs
- Police no longer used for political escorts - if you want to make sure you won't get shot up, maybe it's better to not draw so much attention to yourself in the first place with dozens of police postings, lights flashing and 8 cars before and after you.
- Police no longer traveling in three or more to a car
- Meter maids must work on their own and not in tag teams; Meter maids also employed to give fines to owners of dogs who don't clean up their crap
- Bring in night watchmen on dog duty and levy hefty fines for infractions

Increase Revenues
- Take away the dreaded 'Tourist Tax' and instead make the Rom pay for their garbage removal services and property squatting.  €10/person/day to live on City property and, campers immediately towed and fined €5000 if parked on city streets.
- Advertisers and Outdoor advertising companies fined €2000 per sign that goes up and is illegal, political ads must pay for the space
- Instead of allowing new building, people will get tax breaks for picking up the abandoned ones and turning them into places of business

Improve the City
- Actually enforce all the rules & regulations that heretofore have been put in place (e.g., squeegees, prostitutes, illegal building and the like)
- Stop all tree 'pruning' and ask the Finnish Park Service (they're in the EU right?) to oversee any future cuts
- Force the private companies who cut down the trees to take away - at their expense - the hundreds of thousands of tree stumps they leave in their wake and replant them with proper, tall, magnificent trees as in the rest of the neighborhood
- Discontinue planting of nano-orange trees and replant the beautiful Roman trees that give us oxygen
- Force the paving firms to guarantee that the crosswalks will be white for at least 5 yrs and they must repaint within 24 hrs or pay a hefty fine when they magically disappear
- Allow citizens to photograph license plates of cars who nearly run them down while crossing on crosswalks and/or who are on cellphones or worse, texting - or those that double park and block crosswalks and then charge hundreds in fines
- Give tax advantages to stores and offices who don't use or turn off florescent signage at night
- Build - keep up - and enforce contiguous bike lanes throughout the city
- Provide toilet paper in every single school and start painting and improving the facilities
- Turn off the lights on the Colosseum every day a woman is murdered by her partner or ex.

Santa, Baby...are you listening?

**Items in gray have live links.

Milan Stock Exchange: A Sign of the Times

Even Milan has it's own 'Talking Statues' like in Rome*

On my recent trip to Milan, I was surprised to see this 'Temporary Installation' to modern culture erected for - two weeks only! - during the Milan Furniture Fair still standing.  After all, it was mounted in September of 2010.  Supposedly, City officials didn't want to host it then and yet, here it is proudly proclaiming what the world already knows.   As much as I (sort of) like the statue, it's yet another provocative Fuck Off to the citizens of Milan by "artist" Maurizio Cattelan who seems to have convinced more than a few people that the city is his canvass, and to hell with you if you don't understand "art".  His last cool 'bad boy' maneuver in the name of 'creative license' was hanging a bunch of life-sized children from trees around a major thoroughfare.  There was such an uproar the City finally gave in and had them taken down.  If he thinks he's leaving a legacy to the city of Leonardo, I'm sure Da Vinci is laughing his ass off in his grave.
The statue is well-constructed, almost appealing, and many believe the artist was flipping off the bankers at the Stock Exchange.  But if you look at it closely, that hand is facing us.  And this reason only is why the statue passes muster with me.  I would love to see it in the center of Wall Street as a symbol for the occupy movement.
Not one to be a prude, I don't think it doesn't have to be shown.  But when we're still censoring swear words on Comedy Central, an openly City-approved 'bird' is, in my humble opinion, not kosher.  If I want to see Cattelan's dead children or his fuck finger, I'll pay a ticket and see it on exhibition.  Forcing men, women and children to lay their eyes on his 'artwork', or forcing them to take another route on public property to me is undemocratic and unacceptable in modern society.
If you look closely at the fascist figures in relief adorning the front of Palazzo Mezzanotte (figures, I might add, that nobody can say precisely quite what they're doing), I have read that they represent the "Four Essential Elements of Modern Economy".
Leave it to Cattelan to give us the fifth.

For more views of the Milan Stock Exchange, it's article and Cattelan's work, click here.

*For Rome's Talking Statues - Earth's First Blogger - read here.

Italy Taxes: #IMU I Miss U

This title will not have much meaning for those outside our Bell'Italia shores, but this week most of the country is paying up begrudgingly on their reinstated property tax holiday that one Silvio had brought on, to wreak economic havoc on a country in badly need of tax revenues.  So, the standard property tax - that most City governments count on in order to line all kinds of pockets implement all kinds of services was brought back in (under Berlusconi & Tremonti, I might add) ---and no one is happy about it, except the Finance Ministry, of course.  It was probably done purposely, because it's Mr. Monti who is getting the blame.
Problem is, the State govt did away with the tax.  City govts were left high and dry, so they instated a new tax. Now that the old tax is reinstated (stay with me here), with a brand new name, the IMU, cities have left their new tax.  So as usual, the burden is left to fall on the honest tax payers come Dec 17th.
So, I went to find information online about how to pay the IMU [which in my opinion should never have been cancelled in the first place, but this was only a swift maneuver that many an ancient emperor tried out successfully, in order to curry favor with the populus - so we can say Silvio was just following tradition].
On Twitter, I searched #IMU - and I soon realized it did not mean what I thought it did.  Here's a brief compilation of pertinent tweets.  You'll soon bear witness that it means a number of things to a number of people [feel free to ponder the creation of mega-piles of manure bytes filling up the bandwith only to be sorted out someday by archivists who find themselves in hell]:

We'll see if the money comes rolling in...(it has)
Miss Lavender ‏@LavenderLowe

Only time will tell... #imu

The tax man cometh...

Laurensia Vianney ‏@Lvianney

"You say?" "say something" "anything else?" #IMU

Alas...me too.

Joe Meade ‏@joemeade35

I think about the same thing 24/7< #imu

Someone whose papà must have paid the IMU:

‏@kathersC

Now "GOD MUST HAVE SPENT A LITTLE MORE TIME ON YOU" by N'SYNC is playing. BEST. MORNING. EVER. Seriously. #imu 

People will go to all ends of the earth to hide their money

Strategic Analysis ‏@Strat_Analysis

It has been announced by @ISAFmedia that an insurgent from the #IMU was arrested in Kunduz province yesterday. #Afghanistan

Clearly trying to make the best of a bad situation

Tim Williams ‏@NewKiddStatuz

Wen u have a good girl like mines... All u can do is be good nd hold tight nd love the mess out of her. #IMU

The President of a prominent Italian University telling his son to move abroad - by open letter in the papers

Dakota J. Thomas ‏@dakotajthomas

A diet for those who want to both live and study. #finals #imu @ Iowa Memorial Union

Mr. Monti counting the spare change...
Cierra Collins ‏@cc_nichole6

Love you more! #IMU

Mr. Tremonti, former Finance Minister celebrating his creation

Kaitlyn Sintkowski ‏@kaitlynaliese

you can find me sprawled out on a couch nomming on a cranberry bliss bar, drinkin a salted caramel mocha & pretending to write a paper #IMU

All the rest of us, coughing up the tax.

Tesleem ‏@ife_sleem

a part of me just went away....... far away #imu

The Perfect Gift of Electronics (kids only)

A friend came to visit one holiday season a few years back and told me she met someone on the street who showed her fine camera to buy - for just 50 euro.  Thinking it had been stolen, she couldn't believe her luck.  She negotiated him down to 30.  She insisted she had been offered a gorgeous (Canon, Olympus, fill-in-the-blank) for her bucks.  She handed the money, and the next thing she knew she was the proud owner of ... an empty camera case.  To this day she did not know what sleight of hand he pulled on her in order to affect the swap, but, when she showed up at my house with her empty case, she was fit to be tied.  And she is Italian.  I told her those ploys - in any country - are reserved for tourists...how could she have been so silly?!
In NY, 42nd street was famous for making the swap in the electronics shops and their policy was No Returns Accepted (and no credit cards).  I'm not sure if this is the case today, but in the digital age, it would seem a folly given that any missteps in the face of consumers would end up on the web before you could type out Yelp!
But in this last case of camera swapping, I had heard the tale many times before, but I finally met someone who had succumbed to the wily ways of the streetwise savvy swindler.  These guys aren't just small-time crooks, they're darn good actors besides.  Because their elaborate thievery has them convincing their target that they know the family, the kids, and all kinds of personal details.  The only thing that can trip them up, especially in a country of single children, is that they only stand a 50/50 chance when first approaching their mark to guess that the person has a son over a daughter, or a child at all.  But, it's a miniscule margin of error in order to rake in hundreds on every single transaction.  And besides, I'm sure they've figured out a cover story for every sort of mishap they came across.  They're so smooth that they even get the prey to thank them for their trouble besides.

How I ended up with a fabulous baby gift for burgeoning photographers...

Taken all together, it looks fairly real - but the weight should
give it away immediately as a scam

This is my favorite part

Baby can play as hard as he wants at becoming the next
Man Ray... Even the lens is plastic

The elderly gentleman walked out of the Post Office (this is one of the main Points of Interest in Italy for anyone over 55 and where they usually go to collect their pensions - so they have ready cash-in-hand...).  A man approaches and the conversation goes something like this:

"Oh-how are you doing? What luck!  I've not been able to get ahold of your son and I have the camera he wanted!"

"You mean, Francesco?  I don't know what you're talking about!"

"You see, Francesco put a downpayment on this camera (takes it out of the bag).  But, he still owes me 160 euro. Perhaps you could pay me and get the money from him, instead of me trying to reach him again and again."

"I don't have that kind of money, and (growing suspicious) besides, how do I know that it's my son you're talking about?"

"Well, why don't you give him a call?  If you ring him, I can tell him I have the camera, I ran into you, and then we're squared away, okay?"

Fumbling for the phone, and feeling a bit uncertain (you know, when that sixth sense we all love to ignore kicks in) 

Dials the number.

Upon hearing a responce, he says, "I have your friend here who says he's got the camera for you -- you talk to him about the money, and just let me know what to do."  (Incredibly, he passes the cellphone to the crook - who could just make off with it and call it a day).

Francesco, at this point, is shouting, "No, papà, it's a scam, don't do it!" But to deaf ears.  That's because our Actor-Thief has now disconnected the phone and carried on his own version of a conversation in which they're squared away. 

"Okay, so he says he'll pay you back the 160 euro he owes me."

"But I don't have 160 euro, just €120 or so..."

"Va bene, va bene...I'll take the 120 euro just to put this thing to rest."

"Very well. Grazie tante."

Judging from what you read in the papers, this scam is so prevalent the thieves could form their own actor's guild.  But the real mystery remains, Why are the best, most efficient customer-oriented, demographically savvy, target-marketing people the scam artists?  The world may never know.

What's Up in Italy

While the nasty weather, the economy, and Mr. Monti, our Prime Minister, seems to have everyone in a foul mood these days, I take my monthly inventory on all good things Italy.  I might as well start with some of the stickier parts.

• First, the weather:  As tweeted in @newsfromItaly, buckets & buckets of rainfall everywhere, means loads of snow in the mountains--The Ski Season has opened in the Dolomites!  Now, if people other than the politicians could actually afford to get there...

• In his blog assessing the Italian financial situation, Economist (& Nobel Prize Winner) Paul Krugman thinks that Italy's finances might not be in as sad shape as one thinks.  He doesn't take a stab about the future, with jobs going, businesses closing, and things costing more for the ever-eroding middle class, but still good news is good news.

What's The Matter With Italy? http://nyti.ms/10ZG9AA More About Italy http://nyti.ms/UbMO6A 

• In Politics, the left-wing Democratic Party held their American-style primaries and a debate between the two big hitters: old-guard politician Bersani -vs- young & aggressive Mayor of Florence, Renzi.  Even more refreshing was the amicable atmosphere during the debates vis-a-vis the shouting that usually goes on on talk shows.  And, on an even more refreshing note, Berlusconi continues his they-love-me/they-love-me-not flirtation with forming yet another party & giving it a go in the Spring Elections.  But, so far, his Big Announcement seems to be playing out as successfully as Donald Trump's.  As long as he's into resurrections, perhaps he should use the Margherita party name - whose symbol is the Daisy.  Or even a pizza Margherita for a logo.
• In November, Rome's Christmas market opened in Piazza Navona, which draws lots of crowds.  Those who need a nice new figurine for their manger scenes can get them there in the festive atmosphere of the piazza.  And, speaking of figurines, of course those wily Neapolitans have come out with Obama and Romney - the perfect figures for your manger scene-what they have to do with the birth of Jesus, remains to be seen, but it looks like Romney has since been discounted, and we can only hope that Berlusconi goes the same way.
• Not only have the fresh-pressed olive oils come out this November (and it seems to be a banner year), the Vino Novello has hit the stands and restaurants as well!  Many wineries and olive oil companies (I personally love forays into Umbria) open over the weekends and provide wonderful tastings of all the bounty.
• And finally, in Rome's Torre Argentina area, it looks like the humans running the Cat Sanctuary are getting the boot, but the cats will be allowed to rome the area even as it is opened up to the public.  This is an ongoing saga, so watch this page.