Capitol Punishment

When visiting our nation's capital, two things stand out: One, the lack of people roaming the streets midday, and the average age of people when you do finally see them. In fact, I now see why visitors to Rome always ask me, "Does anyone work here?" I believe that's due to the numbers of government employees who get out at 2pm (but work saturdays), if that's still the case. Of course, don't ask a Milanese, but I think Romans are quite hard-working. They did away with the siestas and Italians generally clock in a good 11 hours at work. And then, of course, you have to consider the numbers who work in their regular jobs and then work in their other (black market) jobs...but I digress.

Once you get beyond the lack of humans on those huge thoroughfares lining Washington DC, you then notice the sheer numbers of homeless. It seems the homeless really took note of that inscription upon Lady Liberty (see entry below). It's no wonder they dim the lights so low in the subway. Everyone sort of seems like they're taking part in a fine evening cabaret, shopping carts and all. That lighting did wonders for my self-esteem.

But after hanging out at Union Station at lunchtime, I was very nervous to leave the place and go down into the subway there. Judging by the faces of all these yuppies, I was convinced that the moment I stepped out onto the curb, a huge machine would scoop me up for soylent green. Nowhere did I see anyone over 40. And, adding credence to my theory, only the homeless seemed to age here -- perhaps they would soil the food rations?

Now I see why we hold our graying Supreme Court Justices in such high regard. We put them in a special building, robes and all. They can't ever leave their office, lest they, too, get scooped up and made into soylent green. So, they're only replaced when they die -- in fact, come to think of it, those who have 'retired', were never seen thereafter in public.

Let's just say, I was happy to leave DC safe and sound.

The Future According to Berlusconi

Eluana, Italy's Terri Schiavo, after 17 years living in a total vegetative state finally breathed her last breath. May she and Terry both rest in peace. I won't go on about the amount of political maneuverings, legal loopholes and misconceptions that accompanied her passing (Berlusconi's incredible statement 'well, she can still reproduce') was just one of the many even more sickening opinions on this very private matter which went expressed.

And while I won't go into the implications of this decision to discontinue her feeding tube (which include political, human rights, constitutional, religious posturing and street protests; not to mention the family's very own right to privacy), I'd just like to say that perhaps Berlusconi, in his eternal quest for the fountain of youth, was actually serious.
After all, what with his hair plugs, facelifts, and barrage of sexual potency insinuations (he must have his very own Viagra production house), I'm sure he would like to live on forever; even if that means being kept indefinitely on a feeding tube.
I wouldn't be surprised if he's taken all his money and arranged to have himself frozen in a cryonic suspension case, so he can come back later and appear on talk shows in the Year 2310 next to 20-somethings in bikinis. Who knows? He may still have his singing voice.

But, this idea of keeping people alive just because we can strikes me as something out of the 1978 Michael Crichton flick, Coma. Just think: there are not enough beds in Italy to house the temporarily infirm, where will we put the bodies? Maybe this is Berlusconi's true solution for Malpensa Airport. Use the hangars for hangers. That might explain the secretive meetings with officials in Milan.

Whether or not you agree, it certainly beats the Soylent Green solution.