Tante Belle Cose - Sept in Italy

After the August lull, September in Italy always comes roaring in even though the hot days still make you want to escape to the beach.  This September there were so many things to be thankful for, it's hard to know where to begin:


No Pork Referendum or, as I like to call it, Stop the Feeding at the Trough
No, this referendum which garnered over 1.2 million signatures above the 500.000 needed doesn't stop pork barrel politics [Italians rely on inside deals and bribes for pet projects so they don't have to actually add extra stuff to the public votes - although Berlusconi & Co. on the latest austerity budget included a little clause serving to gag bloggers...read about it here]. This referendum aims to stop filling the entire Parliament with hand-picked cronies and reform the political process so that officials actually represent the people.
Personally, I don't think it's gone far enough:  While it may cut the number of representatives (Italy has the greatest number in all of Europe), it still allows them all the perks, (including getting their pensions even if serving in office for 48 hours - at any age, while the rest of us must wait 'til 65), and allows the corrupt ones tried & guilty to serve any way, any time.


A foray to one of Rome's main Post Offices proved (almost) delightful:  I discovered that you can now send the insidious-but-necessary registered letters (raccomandata) online - like sending a telegram of days of yore.  While there, I also discovered bands of foreign kids sitting on the floor.  
I figured they were just posting a sit-in for the chronic malfunction of the ticket lines, the lack of personnel, the striking workers, or the hours being shortened for one reason or another.  It was none of that:  The Post Office is now offering free wifi in their very offices.
It was wonderful to see people hanging out in what are often terrific buildings with frescoed ceilings.  If they could add a coffee bar inside, we'd all be all set especially seeing that the day I was there, all the systems were down.


I came across a real cool old car, like a 1950s Cadillac combing the streets of Rome.  Stenciled with the words, HELLO ROMA, it was announcing something I've been waiting for since 1981:  the opening of Rome's first GAP Store (just prior, the GAP & Banana Republic opened in Milan).
Now I know where all the Italian kids will be hanging out...perhaps the GAP should be offering wifi as well...or even better, postal services.


And last but certainly not least, Kraft Co., the best makers of faux cheese, the same company that has given us mac&cheese, philly&salmon spread and even Velveeta, the closest thing to eating rubber sheets, has branched out where no man has tread before. We'll call them delicious duos:  Philly & Ham spread, Philly & Tuna and...(drum roll please...) the awesome joint venture between Milka Chocolate & Philly 
As their jingle sings out...Spread a little love!

It's a bit much, but visit their site & you can even download an app
(does it spread the stuff for you???) & songs to spread by...

Magnifico!  This was my 500th Blog Post!  Grazie Tutti for keeping me going!!!
And...for you new readers, be sure to check out the posts of the early days for more cross-cultural insights.

Rome's Mayor in need of Sex Ed?

Rome's Mayor is under fire from women in the city offices as well as from women's groups who are growing more and more outspoken against the Business as usual way of Italian male-oriented politics.  When coming into office, he had two women on his twelve member team, despite laws to the contrary decrying "equal representation" of both sexes in city governments.  But this was before women took to the streets - fed up with the Ol' Boys' Clubs.
In January, he dissolved his team, shuffled it around -- and dropped a woman.  As I've mentioned in the past, despite evidence to the contrary, Italians seem to believe that a country on its last leg economically speaking should just go on the way it always has.  For most politicians, women should be seen (as eye candy) and certainly not have their voices heard through equal representation. But in January, women took the case to the courts.  And this week, they won.  The tribunal in fact came down on this gross lack of representation, and asked Alemanno to dissolve his Administration once again.
The Mayor's response?  Add a woman and make her Vice Mayor.  Following this logic, if the Vice Mayor position equals five men, where were we prior to this upset?  As for me, I'm starting to think that Mayor Alemanno simply skipped early elementary Health Ed.  
So, here's a video to set it all straight.  




Perhaps we should install those airport body scanners in City Hall, and maybe, just maybe, the Mayor might get his numbers right.

What's Wrong with this Picture?

I recently came across the official website of the City of Monreale, a sort of suburb of Palermo, Sicily.  Although we're in the deep south, I was still amazed at the women's participation in local politics, or lack thereof as the case may be.  Down in Sicily, even the mafia has more women heads at the helm of the 'family'.  

It's a scene played out in Rome, Bari, heck probably most of America's south as well.  Review the names, and you'll find that the (two) women come at the very end, as a sort of after-thought. So much so, they're represented by little mini-men as well (although if we asked about it, we'd probably be told it was for the sake of equality).  Or perhaps we'd be told it was deliberate so the site wouldn't look like the doors to the office restrooms.  

Call me a simpleton, but what seems to behoove all of these well-paid politicos from Trapani to Trieste (and over to Texas & Tennessee as well), is that, the dishes are pretty much done, cleaned up and put away on the success of enterprises, organizations, communities, and even entire nations. The simple notion that   When women are involved truly in the process, things improve for all involved (and not just their cronies).  

Every day, we hear politicians and businessmen drone on and on, up & down the boot while wringing their hands as to how to keep Italy competitive on the world scene.  

Stop showing us the same old picture. That's how.

Berlusconi's Babes-Follow the Money

The English press, since their own politicians usually can't have nearly as much fun as their Mediterranean counterparts always have a heyday when Berlusconi gets caught with his pants down. As much as the Brits love to vacation in Italy, they seriously can't take Italy...well, seriously. Forget being cozy with Putin, Berlusca is 'peeing off the plane' Boris Yeltsin's protégé.

The most disturbing facts surrounding this media circus however, have seemed to pass the media by (not to mention the EU & World Bank for that matter). That the government has been at a standstill, aside from the internal cat fights, for seven months, while Berlusconi & pals entertain new ways to get him off the hook, instead of trying to resolve Italy's stagnant growth, brain drain & myriad problems. Today's ace up their sleeve? Introducing a law to fine 100,000 euro anyone issuing an order for telephone interceptions (read: judges - which is what tripped him up in the first place), if there is no ultimate proof of wrongdoing (the chicks aren't chirping, so, it will get him off in the second place).

Another issue much ignored by the anglo press is, of course, that paying for escorts is not illegal. It's the girl's age and playing the 'get out of jail free' card that may cost him Park Place.  Every day I see policemen picking up prostitutes to keep them off the streets - but, it's hard to uphold that law when your PM seems to be getting their phone numbers and inviting them to his villa. Only the church seems to be talking about decorum and how one should assume a more 'statesmanlike conduct' (and we know how good they are at saving face in the face of scandal). Let's face it. If any of us carried on like this in our jobs, except for Hef, we'd be fired.

But, my biggest beef is none of this.  I wonder, while Italy has income tax revenues too low to speak of, State spending above their GDP, no money to pay their teachers, remove their garbage, build nursery schools, maintain the streets, rebuild Aquila, etc. etc., why Miss Minetti, the 25 yr. old ex-dental hygienist cum City Councilwoman (and, allegedly, the Madam of the mansion), and who, I am certain, is, according to Berlusconi, "a splendid person, intelligent and educated,"

makes as a fledgling City Councilwoman in Milan, more than Barack Obama.

Her pay? 12.555 euro per month (times 14 months' pay and including about 8 weeks vacation - more even, than George W. Bush). This comes out at today's (lower) exchange rate to $245,155/yr. - and I believe that's after taxes. Multiply this by their thousands of city council people and...Work in the EU? The pay is over 50% more than that. We've already seen the picture play out on this legalized graft -- it's called Greece. This is the real scandal.  Of course, one could also state that the escorts don't make out so badly either. 

What did P.J. O'Rourke call it?  Parliament of Whores -- and that was the US Government.

Italy's New Austerity Program - A dedication

Everyone would probably be in agreement that the Abruzzo region, hit last year by the devastating earthquake which uprooted hundreds of thousands, would be living as they say, 'hand to mouth' right about now.  At least that's true for the hapless residents, the Abruzzi diaspora currently living in temporary quarters (while asking, 15 months on, just how temporary is temporarily?).  With reconstruction money flowing in (but admittedly, without reconstruction), we are not without our share of scandals - But this one takes the cake:

On the eve of Berlusconi's cost-cutting - belt-tightening squeeze, it was reported that the Region's officials - all 11 of them - gifted themselves spanking new 'auto blu'; the private cars sporting sirens that whisk politicians to and from their mistresses' apartments official visits around the area.  These cars, with a price tag of 22,000 euros ($30,000) per month come complete with plasma tvs so their escorts guests aren't bored while they officiate over another photo opp.  Enough money to rebuild at least something - how about the TV store for starters (as a sort of note of thanks), or, a bit of sidewalk in Aquila alone. 

To these politicians, and on behalf of all Italians everywhere, I'd like to dedicate a song which I believe best expresses the sentiments*



If you can't see video above, here is the link

Dirty White Boy lyrics

Hey, baby, if you're feelin' down   ‘cuz you ain’t got no home to go to
I know what's good for you all day   ‘cuz I’m your elected official
Are you worried what your friends see?   Don’t worry, they’ll get over it
Will it ruin your reputation lovin' me?   So you voted for me, so what?

'Cause I'm a dirty white boy
Yeah a dirty white boy
A dirty white boy

Don't drive no big black car   Are you kidding? I got me an auto-blu with driver!!!
Ain't like no Hollywood movie star   Hell, even Paris Hilton drives her own ride
You want me to be true to you   Just because you voted for me? Pffffhhhhhh
You don't give a damn what I do to you   Because you don’t protest loud enough or long enough - and no matter what you say, my car is staying!

I'm just a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

Well, I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
A dirty white boy

I've been in trouble since I don't know when   Well, since the earthquake, actually
I'm in trouble now and I know somehow I'll find trouble again   If you count trouble as things that fall apart that I can cash in on
I'm a loner, but I'm never alone   No, my mistress is usually right by my side (after all, she’s my secretary)
Every night I get one step closer to the danger zone   If my wife finds out, it’s tee time with Tiger! (better hide those golf clubs…)

'Cause I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

*song applicable also to Tony Hayward, CEO of BP Petroleum, Bernie Madoff, Ken Lay, all the Wall Streeters (with a special mention of derivatives traders & Goldman Sachs), Tanzi of Parmalat, and a list far too long to mention here.

A friend informs me that Italy has over 600,000 auto blu paid for by taxpayers.  A country as vast as France?  35,000.

And, for another Abruzzo town, the town of Teramo, whose entire Mayoral office swapped their auto blu for bicycles, I will dedicate another song, Sheryl Crow's version of Here comes the Sun for the Bee Movie.

Obamacare -vs- I Could Care Less : a view from Italy

Regardless of what you think about the results of Sunday’s historic vote in America – to provide health care to all Americans, one thing is certain:  most pundits agree that Obama and many in his party ‘put everything on the line’ -- their name, their party, their future - in order to form, what Obama loves to pronounce, “A more perfect union.”  Democrats had been fighting for this cause for decades, with the now-Octogenarian Democratic Michigan Congressman John Dingell introducing a health care bill year after year, picking up where his father had left off.

For someone in Italy (and even countries from Canada to Costa Rica and beyond, the question wasn’t so much about ‘why’ the U.S. should be providing health care, but, ‘why not?’.  This most basic of civil services, with all of its failings, is still a right in much of the civilized world.  But, from where I sit in Rome, this is not the issue.

Instead, I’ve seen two party heads spending the last 18 months fighting – desperately at times – to change their countries.  One, for the good of all their countrymen (even republicans). Another, for the good of himself and his party cronies.  The ‘battles’ being played out night after night in the media could not be so markedly diverse; it’s as is if both were cruising along on magnificent ocean liners; except one was on the QEII and the other, in a strange, alternative world, so upside down that it would appear we were all on the Poseidon.

Berlusconi has proven to be quite adept at pursuing his ad personam laws, especially with a majority rubber-stamping parliament in place.  Over the years, he’s successfully gotten a number of cases against him thrown out, all the while disparaging the judicial arm of Italy’s government.  The pinnacle of his manoeuverings;  passing a law giving people in power immunity from prosecution while in office.  That really makes one confident that politicians will be acting in the best interests of their electorate.

Berlusconi, in his self-interest zeal, has not only maligned the judiciary, but he attacks the free press (those not owned by him, of course) regularly; getting journalists fired, pulling shows off the air, and now trying – as if reading from the Iran manual of media relations – to silence the bloggers (especially those that write mean things about him).  His own channels and the public RAI1 play politics without care for 'equal opportunity on the airwaves'.  Always trying to find a way to skirt the law, his new approach is that all bloggers need to be written up in the ‘albo’ or listing of journalists with degrees in it (and anyone who reads the rot written by many many ‘journalists’ in the Bel Paese will know that’s a real seal of quality).  Even if you wanted to, how you would be ‘let in’, of course, would be up to a government stooge.

And finally, with this weekend’s Regional government elections. Berlusconi’s party has shown such an utter disregard for the rules of law that even President Napolitano, had to intervene.  The party lists of candidates in many cities (including Milan and Rome) were not presented officially, excluding them from the elections.  Berlusconi’s banter:  “It doesn’t matter – we’ll get around this trivial detail.”  And he then held an all-night law-making session to change the laws expost facto, once again showing total disregard for government and the people he supposedly represents.  

It’s good to see Americans taking an interest in their politicians and the political processes – however pathetic – that get them their laws like National Healthcare.  What’s sad is to see an entire country reaching a point of cynicism whereby ‘all politicians’ and politics are alike – and laws are made to suit themselves, not the people.  

With a Prime Minister as the poster child of that “I could care less” cynicism.  
 Berlusconi still remains popular for the very chutzpah he shows at every turn – but, at what price, Italy?

Lying through their teeth

This election season will be remembered as the year in which politicians and photographers finally figured out that floating heads on stark white backgrounds didn’t quite transmit a message of any kind – let alone the banal slogans floating nearby.   Most of the time, it was like looking at movie posters of ‘Night of the Living Dead’.                

Bonino last campaign season...

And in this year's "In Bonino We Trust" campaign - 2010

And so, we are finally treated to dark backgrounds, 3/4 portraits, smiles, and we are all the better for it.  After all, if you have to look at someone’s oversized grins 6493 times per day, they might as well make them worth looking at.  

But, the posters have now themselves become a battleground – and not just of campaign slogans.  Turns out, those politicians whose chops grin at us like Sylvester the Cat, are the ones who’ve actually swallowed the truth - just like Tweety bird – they post illegally.   

And so, weary citizens have taken Berlusconi’s decree of setting up vigilante committees, and decided to take matters in their own hands.  

First, by knocking down the actual illegal signs that should never have been put up in the first place (too large, too near intersections, etc). And now, teams are going out and either ripping down the illegal eye & environment-polluting symbols, or covering them up entirely.  Armed with the slogan, “They pollute, we polish” (my verbiage in a marketing-challenged country) - “Loro sporcano, noi puliamo!” (wow – really hits it out of the park…), they’ve set out to call out politicians’ lies and abuse of powers -- before they even get elected.

And, it looks like the law (and thinning city coffers) might just be on their side.  I’m all for vigilanteism, especially when it means a cleaner city – and so, the Italians’ newfound activism has one fan from this blogger.

Now, if we could just clean up the slogans, we'd really be beautifying the cityscape.

Cleaning Casa

Hillary Clinton asserted (somewhat unsuccessfully) during her bid for America’s top job, that “Perhaps it takes a woman to clean up all the messes that the men have gotten us into.”  And from natural disasters to war zones and through economic crises, she is right on.  Traditionally, it’s been the women to pick up the scattered pieces, raise the children, and grow communities. 

Coming back to Italy, it would appear that things have gotten so out of hand that even the Italians are looking at an A-list of women running in elections across the country.  After seeing so many women in the USA as on talk shows, talking business, the economy and politics, I thought for a moment all of the posters were like hazy mirages from my jet lag.  Turns out, I was wrong.

Running for the Region of Lazio's governorship (or Presidency, I haven’t quite worked it out) of Rome & environs, are two welcome faces:  Emma Bonino and Renata Polverini.  It seems they battled to the top against a few others, like Loretta Napoleoni and Paola Binetti.  I’m not sure if this is some weird fad, or if in Italy, women finally are going to have their say.  But either way, I just hope that the ladies are here to stay. 

And although Polverini is half Bonino’s age (and experience), do I dare say it, we may have Berlusconi to thank for this unlikely turn of events? 

In the worst case, at least party officials can rest a bit easy in the knowledge that they won’t be muddying the party name – being found out cavorting with transvestite prostitutes or underaged call girls around town.

Evolution in Italy: Darwin at its best?

My apologies...but I just couldn't resist...And, Tanto di Cappello to artist Marco Martellini (who you can find on facebook) the talent behind this sensational drawing, which requires no explanation other than the names of some of those featured in what is a modern day version of Raphael's depiction of all the great thinkers of his day...(sorry, I've had visitors here all week...visiting the Vatican, et.al.)....

On the right, you'll spot Garibaldi in his red shirt, Mussolini, Andreotti, and of course, our beloved P.M.

To read what the foreign press is coming up with, click on the links below:

The Huffington Post's Big News Page on Berlusconi
On the petition set off by the wives of G8 leaders trying (in vain) to relegate Berlusca to his misogynist place in history

The Times of London is having a field day (although I can't locate their map of all things tawdry & titillating)...

All the Prime Minister's Women

One thing's for certain: If you want to capture Berlusconi's eye, and make it as a PYT (Pretty Young Thing, or Politician Youth Today, take your pick), you better dye that Italian mane of yours blonde. In fact, one look at Italy, and you'll find that the Italian dark Signora (I'm thinking Anna Magnani, Gina Lollibrigida, heck even Sofia Loren) no longer exists. What's funny in Italy -- a country that should look a lot like say, Japan, in terms of hair hues -- is that the country is in fact, quite blonde. The Italians will be quick to inform you it's the influx of the Vikings who once ruled Sicily...I say it has a bit more to do with the conquering of Italy's populace by the French: L'Oreal, that is.
Look a bit closer and you'll see that only half the population is platinum blonde on the level of Paris Hilton...the women. Just as a key to becoming the Apple of Berlusca's eye, or, an up and coming politician...here's what your portfolio might look like: It's his second wife, "Veronica" (name changed to protect the boring and nondescript), Patrizia & Noemi...

Check out the slide show on the left.

We're the Ones we've been Waiting for

Last week, Libya’s Gheddafi caused a big stir – not least for his Bedouin tent he set up on the backside of the Vatican as a ‘camp’. Taking his cue from the former Pope (Innocent X) whose family once owned that very Pamphilj park, he received you on your own turf; not the other way around. But the biggest flap was that, obviously stricken by being so close to an Infidel H.Q., he became caught up in prayers – so rapt, he kept an entire auditorium of people at the Foreign Ministry waiting for 2 hours before they said, Amen or Inshallah and went home without hearing what Gheddafi – in his first formal visit in decades – had to say.
This story is incredible for 2 reasons:

1) A man who owns dozens of palaces replete with your standard fare concubines, pools, and surely hammams (I don’t know this for sure, but I reference Saddam Hussein) has the audacity to camp out when visiting your land? I know Italy has some pretty spurious hotels, but really…The Cavalieri Hilton is that bad?
In fact, if he really wanted to show some chutzpah – having the Bedouin chief drop a few petrol dollars on expensive hotels, restaurants, limos and girls well…that would have spoken volumes over his Lawrence of Arabia farce.

2) The Italians actually waited for 2 full hours to receive their guest? I would have lasted about 22 minutes myself. But, this, in retrospect, is the least preposterous. After all, there isn’t a city clerk, official or politician who shows up on time. It’s some weird throwback to the days when they didn’t have watches, and sundials had yet to be fine tuned. Or, in the very least, when Princes and Kings would receive you in their bedrooms, so you could make your case while they dressed – never mind rushing off to a proper meeting.

But these aren’t the two reasons I truly had in mind. After all in Italy, no meeting, committee, concert, or even play starts when they say it will. Guests of honor barely make an appearance once they show up 40 minutes behind schedule -- lest they appear as though they have nothing else to do. I once begged a meeting on the parks nearby to just begin without the City Official, after all, he didn’t know squat about what the experts present knew anyway. After 50 minutes and obvious restlessness on the part of the participants, they started without him. I left after another 40mins later and he still hadn’t shown up.

So, really, not waiting for Gheddafi was unbelievable, not because of the obvious int’l faux pas both by host and guest alike (although I applaud Fini's response), but really, the fact that they a) waited so long in the first place (if you’re non-Italian) and b) the fact that they didn’t just keep sitting there (if you’re Italian).

Nonetheless, the applause when announcing the closure of the event was, I’m sure, cathartic for all concerned. Maybe now the politicians will think twice before keeping us waiting for their entrance.