A Tale of Two Cities

The Italians have a great expression, “The whole world is just a village,” meaning, travel far and wide, you’ll find the same things taking place at the same time.  Whilst in London this week, nothing drove this point home more than the latest scandal to rock the Windsors. 

Turns out that there’s yet another billionaire playboy with lots of villas and who prefers to mix pleasure with politics and underage escorts.  Frankly, I’m quite sure the world is quite full of these loathsome Lotharios.  But, you’re the Duke-of-whatever and you don’t know that your buddy with the babes is a convicted paedophile?  Who screens your meetings? An Hispanic courier dropping off a package at The American Express building anywhere in the world is screened more than the guys you happen to keep company with. 

A full listing of the Duke's dubious contacts can be scrolled down the 'List of Royal Blunders' here.

There’s a terrific scene in The King’s Speech whereby the Archbishop of Westminster gives the King the lowdown on his newfound speech therapist - within minutes. They practically knew what he had for breakfast when he was twelve and how often he had sex with his wife. 

Nonetheless, once again, we have a political figure copping a contrite figure.  Well, once again in the Anglo world.  For the Latin lovers around us, just admit it was fun & you have no regrets nor qualms over future festivities.  Perhaps the Brits&Americans could learn a few things from Silvio.  I thanked my lucky stars Andrew was not married, so we wouldn’t have to behold the gross spectacle of the wife-of-the-moment standing by her man.  Although faux-pas Fergie did chime in to his defense.

It’s all totally tiresome, and truly, a tempest in a perfect British teapot.   

Regardless, although Ministers in Parliament are busy trying to distance themselves from Andrew, none of them quite know what it is, precisely, he does.  

UPDATE: Turns out he's a 'Trade Envoy' - does that include abetting human trafficking?  The call girls were flown from villa to villa - who knows if that didn't include a 'lay-over' in Arcore?

While Silvio pays cash for his corral of gals provided for by “talent” managers, his hotties and a TV newsman to procure his babes, the ‘friend’ bought his way into the royal circle.  Convicted paedophile, Jeffrey Epstein* paid off Fergie’s debts so he could have the privilege of providing sex to power.  That’s a twist.   

But, it seems there will be benefits to this new Billionaire's Club of Paedophiles which includes the brother of the Sultan of Bahrain, a select circle of deranged despots, the King of Swaziland and others. 

They've announced a twin city program between Berlusconi’s Sardinian town of Arcore and Palm Beach, Florida.

I’m sure the politicos are already hard at work bringing young girls in to swap and explore one another’s local cultures, events and particular tastes.

* The FBI in 2005 found over 40 young girls in Epstein's circle - he has paid 'damages' for preying on 17 of them

Berlusconi's Zipper Problem

As the press starts to state that Berlusconi's 'zipper problem' (my word, not theirs and borrowed from Bill Clinton) is beginning to be an embarrassment to the country - what with his penchant for paid prostitutes escorts, surrounding himself with underage cube dancers, and then not showing any signs of humility insofar as a father let alone the face of Italy's government.  I wonder sometimes, how deep this double (or in his case, multi-dimensional) standard goes.

 This picture comes with an excellent rhyme 

(in Italian) at this website

This week, I was invited to a conference in Florence - for the Arts - an industry in which women are prominent (but mostly cuz it's so low-paying, like everywhere else).  But once again, to hear a bunch of guys rattle on - generally reading from their pre-prepared scripts unless of course, they're making ad lib sexist jokes.
Then, a friend told me of a meeting he had in Amsterdam - between all Italians also attending a conference.  Turns out one of the two parties was a pretty serious, straight-laced fellow.  The other party, in order to 'test his mettle' decided that they'd see what he was made of.  And so, the dinner quickly diverted to the Red Light District.  I guess, if he could bag a whore, he would bag the business.
This happens the world over -- in fact, escorts doing just their job is pretty standard fare anywhere -- but you sometimes wonder, where the dividing line between upright behaviour in business ends and PMs 'defending their lifestyle' as a model example of a successful businessman cum politician begins. 
Perhaps Berlusca can turn the Zipper Problem to his advantage:  And start by zipping up his mouth.

Hot Burkas / Hot Bods

Yesterday, driving the 10 hours from Rome to Lausanne, the radio was abuzz with the Big News from Italy: after France had passed its “Burka-Free Zone” law, a woman was fined for entering the Italian Post Office draped in a burka.  It was the hot topic even after crossing the border, and at all hours -- and judging by the phone calls I received along the way, the burka was ‘sulla bocca di tutti.” (THE hot topic)

 

Picture of Italian-designed Burka Barbie launched last November in Florence.   

Was anyone fined for the glamorization of the subjugation of women?

Before I go any further, let me just state for the record, that I think the burka is abhorrent to the nth degree.  But while I have a problem with our governments  interfering with how we dress, a friend in Paris and a few radio callers convinced me that the Burka is, truly a security issue.

[Although to date, one could lodge a convincing argument that it’s white guys in red ties and blue suspenders on Wall Street & elsewhere (think Parmalat, the Mafia, politicians far&wide…) whom have wreaked a bit more havoc on people’s personal security over the years – with their own ‘home-grown terrorism' – I mean, I’ve never had a run-in with a woman in a burka, but hey – it still could happen].

One stated, ‘The burka is a flag and means something much more, and it ruins our democracy.'  Another, that 'These women are not choosing to wear it freely', 'The practice is not writ in stone in the Koran'... 

But, it was another who quipped: ‘If we were to enter a bank or post office with a ski mask and covered head to foot so you could not identify me as even male or female, would we be allowed to conduct our business before being detained?’  Now he got me.  He went on to say the law is not racist, and is equal for everyone.   

And then, with that wonderful touch of things you only can find in Europe…we found out that you’re allowed to appear in a mask and coverings head to toe -- but only at Carnivale (they’ve yet to amend the ruling with a ‘Halloween clause’) -- provided that someone knows your identity and can vouch for you. 

Costumes aside, back to the burka.  So, okay, I can handle the law for the above reasons.  But what I cannot tolerate is hearing some politician – in this case, Sarkozy, claim, “We are giving these women back their dignity.”  

Personally, I believe we are making these women prisoners in their own homes – as they will never be allowed out of them - without their burka - by the overlords they call their husbands.   

But, dignity?  If you really want to do something about women’s dignity, Sarko, then lets get near-naked women off prime time TV (and that includes your model wife), let’s clean up 12 year-olds' clothing choices, lets get the veline (showgirls) out of public office and off magazine covers for starters.  Then, lets get the prostitutes some help, the trafficking of women stopped, and the list goes on from there. 

http://www.popcrunch.com/burka-barbie/

Watch this incredibly poignant and timely video done by two people I know in Milan, Il Corpo delle donne (with English subtitles).  It’s an unbelievable exposèe on women’s bodies in the media in Italy.  When the vast majority of Italian girls from 5 to 35 state that their dream is to become a show-girl (a TV stripper or pole dancer nowadays), we have a serious problem for all of society and one vastly greater than the estimated 2000 burka-wearing women (in France).

And then, let’s talk about restoring women's dignity.

Tante Belle Cose - Sept08

Well, this month has been filled with good news--largely because in September, my free papers returned to print, so, I've been able to find the good news to begin with! But, above and beyond the fact that Alitalia got it's flight license renewed (and you know, in some circles, that's not such good news), here are a few choice pickings:


TrenItalia caved to pressure and rescinded its dog ban...Trevor is quite pleased about this one. And don't worry, all you non-dog people out there, he still prefers traveling in his doggy bag.
In the meantime, no one over there can truly explain how those dozens of dogs wreak more havoc than those millions of passengers...

Speaking of cleaning things up...my very own late night drives around town can confirm that the prostitutes are out of business (at least the street walkers, anyway). Rome's mayor started giving fines to those who stopped for a "chat" and, lo and behold...business was down.
Not that he truly resolved the issue -- turns out they've just set up shop outside the city limits.

The EU has brought down the ax on the Telecoms Companies -- stating that the charge for text messaging (sms) is out of hand and out of line. Naturally, Italian sms msgs cost even more than the rest of the Europe. So, look for declining phone bills shortly.
Perhaps because Italy is the land of Dante, Cicero, poets and priests...could it be that our messages are just longer, thus justifying the cost?

And, Italy finally joins most of the real world, in that little children can finally take their mothers' last names. This is Big Stuff and all the more important given the divorce rate.
Although, it did lead one commentator to speculate, 'what with the Mamma-society we already are, what will be left now for Dear ol'Dad??'

News of the World

Now, I rarely go outside the boundaries of my Italian peninsula...but, every once in awhile some excellent news ditties cross my line of vision, and I just can't resist! You'll have to decide which one you find more outrageous:

* In Holland, the Smoking Ban against Tabacco took effect. This means, like in most of Europe, you gotta go outside to smoke. Everything except marijuana. The coffee shops touting Mary Jane and all her friends are left intact, no laws, no fines.

Something inside me absolutely relishes this ruling, while somewhere else, I can't imagine why this law is so over-the-top preposterous.

* In England, they recently ran a competition for the star with the Best Smile, much like the Best-Dressed Awards (winner: Paul McCartney). This as an attempt to start focusing much-needed attention on the Brits' teeth (finally, we're well into the Next Millenium after all)

Truly, you can travel from Tibet to Timbuctu and find whiter, straighter & healthier smiles than you can in Central London.

* In the Maldives, they have installed those spy cameras that take photos of your license plate (who knew they even had roads in that island paradise?) So, one wise guy invented a contraption that, when he pressed a button on his motorcycle, the license plate flipped up -- in just the amount of time to whiz by the cameras at top speed. Well, they finally caught up to him.

This is so ingenious that I can't believe the guy wasn't Italian, but, I'm sure it's a new feature at your local body shop.

* In Bulgaria, the prostitutes were busy youtubing themselves in the public bathrooms. But, they also took to filming regular clients under the showers and uploading the files. Their fun was put to an end when the husbands saw their own wives on the porno sites.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but, in the event of the eventual confrontation, either the wives were lying about whoring around, or, the husbands were about how they found out in the first place...

United States of Denial

Many people have been asking me what were the comments over in Europe about the Governor of New York’s dalliances on the dark side. I must say that in Italy, the entire incident received quite scant attention. The blurb was pretty much relegated to that of turning to the comics pages and checking out ‘Ripley’s Believe it or Not!”. [Although the bathing suit shot of Spitzer’s hooker did garner a few extra choice placements….]

Once again, the Italians were flummoxed by the complete contradiction of America, with its ‘Sex & the City’ tales and then, its utter contempt when someone goes out into that very city to have sex.

In Italy, it’s not the whores who bring the guy down out of Government: not so long ago, it was the strippers who, after parading topless in the streets, actually formed the ‘Party of Love’ and went on to find a few places in Parliament! Perhaps Spitzer could follow in their platform shoe steps. This year, a porno queen decided to part with the standard posters of stiffs in suits (no pun intended), and decided to show her stuff in a different light, so to speak.

Typically, as the ‘man on the street’ comments go, it amounts to: “If he were an Italian politician, he’d be outed from office for NOT having done it!!” They said the same thing about Gary Hart after he was caught on the ‘Monkey Business’. After all, in Italy, even the real white collar crimes of payoffs, mafia connections, graft & corruption go unpunished, judging by the 50-odd convicted criminal politicians still sitting in Parliament, to keep up their own Monkey Business.

I believe the only reason the hanky-panky doesn’t make headlines here is that most journalists, whistle blowers and the opposition in this Catholic country are pretty much Bible Fearin' types: “He who has no sin cast the first stone”.

And, just like during the cold war, it keeps everyone in a state of détente and, a state of denial.