Meet Italo - Italy's Other Train Line

I have long preferred Italy's sleek train line, TrenoItalo or Italo Treno (depending on their web master's viewpoint) to Italy's Trenitalia FrecciaRossa service. I still stand by this rave review (below), although I *wish* they would add to their groovy announcements to shoo people away from the doorways when they come into the station. The smokers stand - even on the steps - to cop a quick smoke, making you walk through their disgusting nicotine haze just to find your seat.

Back in the day, I had given it the white glove treatment, and on the whole, it came out in flying colors, namely red, like the Ferrari it purports to be.  Only time will tell if it's the hullaboo of a big opening, or if their idea of putting service back into the train system will work [still going strong!]  We can monitor their five-star opening, and see if the star eventually falls out of the sky, piece by piece, like the Red Arrow before them, or see, unlike Trenitalia, they're able to keep up the promise of You deserve better when you travel.

So, let's take my experience on the spanking new Italo train from the top:  

Anyone who's lived in Italy knows that Italians love to have two wholly different brand names for any major thing -- like Fiumicino/Leonardo Da Vinci airport, or the Mona Lisa/La Giaconda.  I'm not sure where this practice started, perhaps with Popes taking new names when they became the Big Formaggio.  So with Italo Trains.  The website says Italo, the trains are called Italo, the trains, company and other communications shout out NTV (which always makes me think that they're competing with MTV - Music Television and not Trenitalia/Ferrovie dello Stato).  
Note: They *finally* got the memo and stopped with the NTV nonsense. So now up on the board you will see ITALO, as it should be.
The website reaches near-nirvana, with its easy-on-the-eye graphics, fun things to see and do, pages that actually go where they say they will, and the ease of making a ticket purchase without having to have a PhD in deciphering hieroglyphics just to see your options.  I got two low-cost tickets for about 20 euro each to my destinations (Rome-Florence/Florence-Milan), half price on most fares.  The English website, while needing some touch-ups, is pretty much as good as it gets.
At the Rome Tiburtina railway station, a greeter welcomed us in the bowels of the station and sent us seekers of all good things to the lovely waiting room up in the piazza. Open to all travelers - not just those who have paid an annual Club Card fee.  Their friendly, informative staff helped all and sundry - and the best part was, dogs were welcome!  I would imagine that if we still had luggage carts, they would have allowed them in as well, unlike the competition.  Huge clocks right in the doorways made everyone's life easier as did the setup for laptops and recharge stations. 

[A note about the new redesign of Rome's Tiburtina train station:  Someone finally made the connection, only after 160+ years, that people traveling by train actually carry luggage.  They have built RAMPS up to the platforms. Traveling with a huge bag, doggy bag, computer bag & and other sundry items, there are no words to express my gratitude.]

On board the train, it thankfully had none of the features of the miserable Eurostar.  Seats were comfortable, made for real people under 6' 1", and bathrooms were clean.  I'll update this in a year's time (still fairly clean, especially in a Covid world). Internet on board works well, and you still don't need an internet connection, four aliases and a papal decree in order to log in and run it (see: Trenitalia).
We arrived in Milan about 20 minutes behind schedule.  Which made me wonder about the NTV logo sporting a speedy hare.  After all, even Italians grow up with the fable of the tortoise and the hare...But, I've said it before and will say it again, Italy is nothing if not brand image-challenged.  Nonetheless, even if NTV did use a tortoise logo, I will look forward to never having to venture into a Trenitalia website nor on board a Trenitalia train again.  Now, if NTV could just open up in the USA, offering hey - MTV videos as well on board, life would be a dream.

Postscript:  While I love all the creature comforts, I pray that little by little they don't whittle down all these features as their TrenItalia brethren did.  Back in the day, we were offered a banquet of customer perks from private meeting rooms to welcome drinks and free luggage check; only to see them all removed, one by one, once the customers came on board.
A 2020 Update: Well, they took away the waiting rooms and fab outlets in all the stations...no more greeters either. Their staff still remains friendly as always, and the smokers still perch in the doorways...

Pictures of my train experience can be found at Irreverent Italy Facebook page.

Travel to Italy - Booking Online Trains, Hotels & Automobiles

Rome, Sweet Rome

This past August brought me from Cefalù, Sicily up to Florence & Tuscany (to Il Grande Prato Agriturismo), to Milan, Como, Verona and onto Lucerne and Geneva, Switzerland and ultimately over to Annecy, France for a hearty helping of fondue. [Let's just say, between the inclement weather up north it was decidedly therapeutic.] So you can imagine my elation of coming home to Bella Roma, with its sunny days and empty streets and heck - even the hordes of dumpster divers appear to have taken August off.

While in the past I've picked on the places where this country dependent upon tourism makes continuous #touristfails, I'd have to say...I was pleased as prosecco during my travels, so I thought I'd share some of the Amore with you...Starting with the trains that got me to where I needed to go.
I love train travel.  And the trains are so spiffy, the waiting rooms with wifi and with Italo leaving right near my house, it's truly a pleasure.  Although, I'd gladly take the conversational compartments and the low fares back any day of the week.  And, the cellphone-less travelers, which is why conversations were being conducted in the first place.  ItaloTreno bent over backwards to help me with some ticket snafus, when they saw I had double-booked two tickets.  And most local trains I boarded including the glorious ones shuttling passengers back & forth from Palermo to Messina were pleasantly clean and air-conditioned.
On Trenitalia, the company I love to hate, as always their staff and conductors were the best thing on dozens of wheels. Their new Itinere food service providers even lowered the extortionist prices, and gave me a 5 euro coupon besides. Heck, they even mixed a Bellini for me during the drinks offering. Can you say, 'Benvenuto competition'?  And while I still have never successfully logged in on a train, and I still can't stand the blinding lighting, train designers have finally caught onto the concept that people actually tow luggage aboard.  Although it's Italo whose trains have the cutsie step that comes out so you don't have to hoist your bags like a Sherpa.
Online Bookings - Caveat Emptor or Carpe Diem?
In Sicily, you couldn't find a rental car if your life depended on it-which leaves me wondering why fleets aren't upped in the summer months there, but the trains and stations were so terrific, I didn't really care in the end. And while the proprietor didn't show up for a last-minute booking in Cefalù (and lied about it to Hotels.com), getting a morning ice cream-filled Sicilian brioche made it all better.
In Milan, I rented a car thru Economy Car Rentals which was efficient and inexpensive, although they said the price included the 'after hours pickup' - which I didn't have since Maggiore was open til 11 pm each night (what a change from years ago!)  They didn't cut me any deals on grace periods either but, I love them anyway. The convenience of picking up a car right at the train station is fantastic.
I used DirectFerries - UK for my ferry crossing from Salerno to Messina.  I was a bit nervous that I'd arrive at the boat and they'd say, Direct Chi??!!  Instead, an air-conditioned bus took me from the station straight to the port, a mini-bus came and picked me up at the entrance to escort me round the truckers loading up the ship, and the driver even ran and got me my ticket, while everyone welcomed my little pooch Archie with open arms (okay, I confess: the boat was practically waiting for me to board -- I hadn't read the fine print about arriving 2 hrs prior).  The ride was delightful with the only glitch: the woman purser who didn't want to let me have my dog with me on the deck (when everyone else said it was okay...).
It was the Swiss Train online system (sbb cff) that was the most difficult to work around when attempting the supersaver fares [Hint: they're offered only once you've committed to the train & time, like some wild teaser].  I spent over 10 hours booking tickets all around Switzerland (three times) and in the end, I never received a confirmation.  Thus the rental car when I got to Milan.  A friend says there's a Swiss train office right in Milan's train station - next time, I'll try there.
And, the icing on the gelato?  If you take Italo and you end up in Rome's Tiburtina Station (the boondocks, for most of us), you can imbibe in a terrific GROM gelato & shopping before your trip, and with a simple €1.50 bus ticket you can hop a ride on the railroad, over to any of the other Rome train stations...!  And at my beloved Ostiense station (where Eataly is to be found)?  Some lone, intelligent soul (or fatigued traveler) at Trenitalia has finally figured out that the airport train could use an elevator up to the platform - it's still a work in progress, but hey...Read here for what life has been like without it.
Now...if they would just re-institute the baggage handlers...Perfetto!

Schools In Italy: Showing your team colors

One way to tell whether or not the school has started and teachers or buses are not on strike (a regular feature of scholastic endeavors pretty much anywhere on earth - we'll just call it a lesson in Civics and community organizing whereby kids learn that going on strike means a day off to play on playstations, xboxes and wii -- not unlike a day *on* in Parliament) ... is that in many countries, kids put school uniforms on the outside which seems to make for better learning the 3Rs inside.  In the UK, you can tell the sharply dressed private school kids (which I believe they once called public...) by these uniforms, which shake the bone marrow of most Americans.  These bear symbols and swords and all kinds of markings to show from what class they come, and I don't mean their grade level.  Waltzing down the street in ripped jeans and t-shirts of course, it's understood are the 99%.

Blue for boys...A centuries-old business

Pink for Girls...(photo from Guarducci-Trento)

In Italy, it's less about community - team spirit - and boldly showing your heraldic symbols -- a practice that went out sometime during the Bonfire of the Vanities - I can imagine, but about leveling the playing field.  Tots gather up their pink or blue smocks (affectionately called, grembuili - aprons) and toss them on over their trousers, t-shirts and torn jeans.  Of course, they don't offer families huge smocks to toss over their automobiles, either -- as the ones with SUVs, Mercedes, nudge out the tiny FIATs for space in front of the school; a bigger indicator of status than the ripped jeans and underwear showing out from under them.  This practice tends to carry on thru elementary school, and...weirdly ends right at the age when tweens start removing all their clothes to show off butt cracks & belly buttons and other parts of the anatomy which you, as an adult, really shouldn't be looking at at 7:30am.  Some days I feel like throwing them a smock, pink or blue, take your pick.
I discovered that some schools stick to the uniforms of some sort, but they've now been mercifully updated to include sweat pants and hoodies, and other street smart paraphernalia -- just don't let on to your kids that you think it's smart - they'll be abandoning it for golfer's pants and pink&green whale belts before the term is up.
But I found out during my recent foray into Florence that the International School there had their very own supplier of school kids garments.  Owned by the family of an alumna (or two), the families were told to purchase their particular brand there; a helpful hint to families who lined right up.  I thought it a nice touch to support the Made in Italy brand and the local factories.  Until, that is, I discovered that the cost per student ran over $65 for a pair of sweatpants and over $500 for the entire kit and kaboodle.  Thinking that it was right up there with their American counterparts who are equally pressured into buying the $35 school sweatshirts -- I was reminded, however that those are optional.  And anyone who knew a punk rocker (back in my day) or an emo kid today, could certainly opt out.  As for the families who were surprised by sticker shock, I did not inquire just how many pairs of Nike's, Adidas or Vans their kids also had.
Nonetheless, it serves as a nice lesson to all those foreign kids -- straight from the Medici playbook on patronage and currying favor, and how that, too, is part of the fabric on which our society is made.


for a terrific blog spearheading the Italian schools (in Italian), and in particular, the psychological reasoning behind the smocks...go visit:
A scuole di bugie (!)  

Letter from Florence

One of the charming squares in Florence

Arriving in Florence is always a pleasure.  Not least for the absolute beauty of the place, for its ease in navigating, and for its stores.  I've come to the conclusion that Florence is like a miniscule Paris, where both the galleries and shops are brimming with shoppers and where the women dress so creatively; I even caught a guy walking down the street with a huge loaf of bread under his arm.  As far as I could tell, the only difference is that shopkeepers & waitstaff alike seem to actually appreciate you.  The city center is small enough to criss-cross on foot, and really, the only thing you need is a set of earplugs, for two reasons:  To muffle their homegrown noise pollution (narrow streets and motorinos do not make a fine mix), and to tune out the hoardes of people speaking English.

The old luggage shop has given way to a swanky coffee bar

a pleasant welcome to Florence Santa Maria Novella train station

Arriving at the train station, I was met by a fine crowd of people, distinguished from all the rest.  About 24 gypsies, making out like bandits while people scurried to purchase their tickets and hop a train.  Out in front, the Florentines have done away with their Bus Info Booth-which was one of the best things about arriving there.  I felt so sorry for the poor newsstand guy--I feel like petitioning the City Govt so he could draw a salary for offering Tourist Information.  Seeing that the last time I caught the bus out front seemingly going toward the center, I ended up 45 minutes from my destination in unbearable heat, I decided to grab a cab.  Even the Florentine taxi drivers have always been a joy to take a ride with (while they may be taking you for a ride...!).

In Milan, addresses stem from the center out down the spokes, so to speak.  But in Florence, after hiking many a mile, I knew this is not the case.   I learned from my cabbie that addresses start from the Arno River.  I thought there was something so poetic about that, although it didn't help me out -- what if your road is parallel to the Arno?  In any case, I ended up in a lovely section of Florence, down along the via Ghibellina and not so far from Santa Croce.  The streets in these parts are lined with cool shops & galleries, and not a chain store in sight.  I sat down underneath the archways of this tidy square (above), the Volta di San Piero.  A student hangout with a pub, a kebab place and a hole-in-the-wall eatery where I had a so-so ricotta & honey crepe, accompanied by a lousy cappuccino; but where the people & dog-watching was terrific, in compensation.

Burnt by the Tuscan Sun

Signed copies now at B&M Books

From there, I window shopped along the near traffic-free street, heading straight for Piazza della Repubblica - a place I like to go up on the rooftop for a drink with friends and a very fine view, indeed.  I stopped in at The Paperback Exchange to check on my book sales, before heading over nearer the Arno to B&M Books, a place selling an amazing selection of books old and new, and often hosting authors & artists.  I took advantage of their €1 and €5 book corner, and signed a few copies of my book which they had admirably placed, front & center.

At the nearby Palazzo Strozzi (one of my favorite places in Italy), an exhibit of Italian art from the Fascist period (hands down my favorite period for Italian art) is going on.  They have an outstanding cafè and a peaceful courtyard when you walk into the building.

Heading back over to the station, I caught a glimpse of a slight advertising fail for another art show (longtime readers will know it's one of my pet peeves of Life in Italy - just do a search on my blog for the word Advertising to have a hearty laugh).  I can't for the life of me think how anyone could have simply walked away from this job, thinking, Sì-That's a job well done!   I actually stopped to ponder if it was a ploy to get you to go to the exhibition, since there were more than one done up this way.  I don't think so.  Then again, maybe the poster guy needed to catch his train - or catch a thief making off with his wallet.

A show on Gothic Maolica?
Or, advertising a show on mosaic pieces...

For related posts on Florence, click below or just look at the tag cloud off to the right.

A Day Trip to Florence ... From Umbria Uncovered

Letter from Fair Florence 

Tante Belle Cose: Italy Travel Edition

As we wrap up the Italian holiday season, it's hard to say enough good things about spending a summer in Italy.  This summer even came to a perfect close, letting the cool temperatures come in and blessed rainfall to come down only during the last few days of holidays.  It helped ease traffic patterns, and the drought in many a garden and park.  And of course, the win 3-1 of Rome over Inter (Milan) near my old stomping grounds of San Siro, really put me in a good mood (and judging from the uproar from my neighbors, pretty much everyone else as well).
August in Italy may be sweltering but it's also swell:  there are the open air concert series, the gelato, the movies in the parks, the gelato, the dining out on city streets, the gelato...And even though gas prices were beating records at $10/gallon and gas tanks (not to mention wallets) were waving white flags, all the while the Rome metro thermometer readings were in red alert, there were a few sunny spots on this traveler's radar:

- It may just be summer, but I seemed to notice a whole heck of a lot fewer 'blue cars' whizzing along the streets, motorcycle cops escorting them in all their revelry.  What is my hangup for blue cars?  They're the ones with blue flashing lights on top, whisking politicians from one event to another (not always "official" ones at that).   Under Berlusconi, they were buzzing around town more than the tiger mosquitos.  Now, you barely notice them - but that's probably because the politicians are hiding from the proletariat.

Find the blue button (as indicated on top & bottom)

- I found myself in a parking spot on a busy stretch of road (the Lungotevere in Rome) gloriously right in front of the meter.  Sadly for me, it was a place with no shopfronts or newsstands nearby, and I with no spare change in my wallet for the meter.  I looked across the way and noticed a funny looking parcometro machine on the other side.  I wondered if - by some strange hand of fate - over there, I could actually pay by bank card.  Of course, as I dodged in and out of cars roaring by on the busy thoroughfare just to get to the other side, I had to giggle.  I felt like I had finally solved the riddle of the chicken who wanted to cross the road.  Once there, of course, I prayed that a meter maid wouldn't be coming by while I tried my hand at 'thinking like an Italian'; one of my favorite pastimes when it comes to solving any new-fangled technology, or public service.
The meter read, in very easy-to-follow graphics & numbers, 1) Insert card  2) Push blue button (indicating amount of time)  3) push large green button -- and you were good to go.  Except there was no blue button.  A moment later I tried my hand at pushing in repeatedly various amounts on the other keys there, and Ecco fatto!  My first automated parking transaction.  I was delighted.  Of course, I had to make it back across the Lungotevere now to put my little ticket in the dash window, all before the meter maids came a knocking, and before my ticket expired!

- The automated features catching on, in Florence (where they have done away with the bus info & ticket sales handy booth just outside the station), I saw that you can now buy a bus ticket by texting.  Now, I can't vouch for the ease of service, but according to Mayor Renzi's web page, all you have to do is:
1)  Use this handy telephone number:  4880105  
2)  Send a message writing ATAF (Florence Transport Authority)
It acts as your ticket on buses and trams.  This is the first in Italy, and actually, a very brilliant idea.  Let's just hope it works as promised.

-  But the best news yet has to do with the hobgoblin of my existence, Rome's Ostiense Train Station.  Looking to improve its image, it has seen the arrival of Eataly and the new Italo Train Service with both companies going all out to turn around what TrenItalia is steadfast in promoting as the gateway to the underdeveloped world (replete with hordes of immigrants sleeping on the sidewalks out front).  First Eataly disgraced the City into allowing them to open their gorgeous doors to great fanfare (hiring hundreds in the process), and then Italo won the right in court to board people from the flipside of the train station (so you wouldn't have to pass by the Somalian conditions out front).  But now, the Consumer's Unions are suing Trenitalia to get the escalators and elevators working again, after years of being 'temporary closed for repair.'  Maybe in my lifetime there will be an escalator up to the airport train as well, but, let's just say, I won't hold my breath.

- Oh.  Did I forget to mention gelato?  My personal favorite place is Ice Angels in the Garbatella, but it's a bit out of the way for most people.  In a wonderful piazza frequented by locals only, its a great place to stroll around in any season.  This summer, I tried the famous gelateria (I believe Giolitti) on the laghetto of the EUR zone - wonderful - and of course, my favorite small-scooped (read: pricey) place is on the Via Aventina near the Circus Maximus.  But, I'm sure there's a lot more out there worth tasting...Here's a pretty interesting list of Roman Gelaterias for anyone whose interested in conducting their own taste test experience!  http://www.parlafood.com/my-guides-to-gelato-in-rome/

**many live links throughout the post above!

Umbria to Florence-and Back Again!

Guest Post by Susan from Il Gusto del Paese - Umbrian Vacations

and launching her new blog, Umbria Uncovered

When I told Stefano that we were taking the train from Todi to Florence he laughed.  "Any local that aims to venture to Florence, has to drive to the Perugia train station first.  The local train is not part of the regional/national system and thus the schedule and connections cannot be relied upon…"

We decided to take our chances. We arrived at the station - naturally, to find the ticket window closed.   So we hightailed it to the hunting/ticket shop next door (!) and were quickly advised that we would have to buy the Perugia – Florence leg upon arrival in Perugia - the cost from Todi to Perugia, 2.30 € per person. 

All went well with the Perugia connection, and just a few hours later we were at our hotel in the center of Florence.  Can you imagine leaving home and 3 hours later being in the heart of historic Florence?

After four wonderful days of sightseeing and shopping, we meticulously timed our Florence departure to meet the last train from Perugia to Todi.  By now, we knew the scoop:  it's not possible to buy through tickets, so once in Perugia we would quickly purchase tickets for the local train back to Todi. 

Disembarking in Perugia, we see the well-worn Todi train.  "Is that the train for Todi?"
"Si…subito!"   We race across three tracks but then remembering we don't have tickets.  We knock on the engineer's window, pleading, "Signore, non abbiamo biglietti!"

View of the Duomo from atop the Rinascente store

I'm not sure whether it was in sympathy or indignation, but he waved us onboard. Later,  when coming through the cabin to verify tickets, he just looked at us and raised his hands. Whew!  We would have gladly paid, but on this particular day, it seems it wasn't possible.

We quickly moved on to our next challenge – how the heck would we know when we were arriving in Todi.   There were no announcements, no outside lights, no signs…We couldn't even count the stops from Perugia, as it turns out the local train makes ad hoc stops along the track if requested in advance!

As we disembarked at the Todi train station platform, another passenger pulled down the window.  He started shouting who knows what at us...Had we forgotten something on the train?  No, this heretofore quite reserved gentleman was yelling to us to run for the bus – as
it was the last one to the centro and would depart immediately! 

Did you know...?

The magnificent duomo in Florence was built over a period of 170 years with the first brick being laid in 1296 AD. The cupola was finally completed in 1436. The height of the duomo from the street to the top of the cupola measures 90 meters (300 ft.). You are welcome to climb the 436 scalini to the top but be prepared for a rather narrow and arduous ascent. Be sure to take your camera as the views from the top are spectacular! 



But for the lazy ones (like me! Francesca Maggi) - do yourself a favor, and climb the few steps from the top floor of the Rinascente Store in Piazza della Repubblica, sit yourself down and have a drink and admire the Cupola and a 360 degree view from their rooftop instead!  Much more relaxing...believe me.

Traveling to Italy? Don't get taken for a Ride

Before the (thankfully) inimitable TrenItalia took hold of Italy's national train company (and shook the Italians down in the process), I practically lived on Italian trains. For over 15 years, I travelled the swathe of the boot on average 6 days per week.  In a country that prides itself on the human contact, I enjoyed every minute of it.  
But then TrenItalia decided that train fares could be hiked up to meet "European levels" even though Italian salaries stayed put precisely at the salary level I had in my second job -- at the age of 23.  
But, every now and again, I am forced to take the trains to one appointment or another, and I will be first to admit that I love going city center to city center, the hassle-free service (except if you're actually carrying luggage), sleek trains and even bustling train stations.  But, every now and again, you must also conduct a quick reality check, and remind yourself that it's not just the illegal and shoddy 'taxi drivers' offering you a ride who wish to separate you from your money: you need to be quite aware of the next sneaky deal that TrenItalia is trying to put past you.
Nowadays, you get much faster service if you simply purchase your train tickets at one of the dozens of automated machines perched throughout nearly every station.  Believe me, it's faster than attempting to purchase over the internet, whereby you will get timed out, have to register, and, if you're a foreigner, not be able to retrieve your tickets...once you've submitted your firstborn child's social security number.
When attempting to take a slow (read: inexpensive) train to Florence or Naples, I kept getting hood-winked.  I'd input the destination and up would pop a number of trains, all coming in at the most expensive price.  Because I had checked the train schedule online, I was certain this could not be the case.  But, thinking that the local and often faulty trains perhaps had been discontinued, I carried on paying the piper.
Until one day, I noticed, at the bottom of my screen, a few choice words:  TUTTE LE SOLUZIONI or, in English, ALL SOLUTIONS (or perhaps, ALL TRAINS).  I clicked.  Suddenly, up popped all those missing cheap trains I had seen on the website.
So, if you're not in a hurry and don't care about having an internet connection, but actually just want to enjoy a comfortable ride in a proper wagon with other passengers where you will almost always have a convivial conversation with those around you, try this.  
You heard it here first.  And, you probably won't hear it anywhere else.  (Except TripAdvisor Forums!)

Looking for Leonardo - Da Vinci

“And having climbed the stairs of the Great Hall, diligently take a look at a group of horses and men, a battle piece by Leonardo da Vinci, which will strike you as a miraculous thing.”                                                        --Anton Francesco Doni (1549)


I came across this extraordinary project by National Geographic photographer, Dave Yoder.  He's looking to fund his great venture - that of recovering Da Vinci's epic painting in Palazzo Vecchio, The Battle of Anghiari.  
Check out the video, but don't take my word for it:  Look at the entire Kickstarter Page where there is plenty more information on the protagonists, the mystery, the artwork itself, including some good FAQs for those who might want to pitch in to test the theory that the work is hidden underneath Giorgio Vasari's masterpiece.  




In the words of Queen Isabella as she turned to Christopher Columbus, 
'Hey - Ya never know'.

Advertising Age: Don't Abandon Your Dog This Summer

The City of Rome, Roma Capitale, for a few years running has almost always come up with excellent advertisements.  Whoever they have been using has outdone not only themselves but every other city in Italy for the wit & wisdom behind the public service announcements.  That's why I was absolutely stunned to see this ad clearly invented by a  fifth grade classroom posted around town, sweetly promoting the idea that your dog is your buddy.  
This year's advert was more in line with a campaign to adopt one of the thousands of dogs overflowing the dog pounds around town versus that of a guerrilla campaign against the thousands more despicable assholes who this year will leave their little furry friend at the side of the highway to face certain death-by-bumper.

Your best friend for life
[Warning: whose already short life will be cut down when you leave him roadside this August
- too bad it wasn't added]

Instead, Florence took a better approach with signs all over town of a cute dog (too bad he was a cartoon), with the signs reading:

If you abandon your dog, you're the Bastard!                     

Too bad, both get total ad fails by not putting these ads right front & center on the home page of the websites.  You have to dig & dig until you finally find the ads on the web (and in Florence I never did).  Here's a close one done by a group of militants in Perugia.

Whether any of these campaigns make one single bastard think twice is yet to be seen.




For more of my annual reads on this atrocious practice, click below:


http://burntbythetuscansun.blogspot.com/2007/08/its-dogs-life.html

http://burntbythetuscansun.blogspot.com/2008/07/doggone-it.html

http://burntbythetuscansun.blogspot.com/2009/08/turisti-quattro-zampe-accidental-animal.html

Italy--Coming soon to a piazza near you!

Italy's inimitable Ministry of Tourism has done it again.  This time, launching Magic Italy on Tour, a showcase of all things Italian, traveling around the world for all to see.  In their incomparable wisdom (lending credence to the simple truth that decisions should never be made by committee), the English moniker is used even in the Italian section of the site - promotion.  Except they call it Italy In Tour.  

They have since updated the English site, but, you'd think with the millions spent in their black hole of a website (40 million euro given to Berlusconi's childhood buddy Stanca), they'd manage to figure out how to use google translate.  In any case, click on photo caption of David, brow furrowed as he battles the giant rot of political graft & corruption, to see where you can find the Best of Italy - in a piazza near you.

Italy in Tour

Letter from fair Florence

I recently had the extreme pleasure of visiting the always lovely but overrun with English-speaking tourists mecca, otherwise known as Florence.  I confess, I hate to type that word about as much as typing Turin – Why, oh why, can’t we just use the Italian proper names for places?  It would make finding the correct train track and eventual stop so much easier for first-time visitors.  In any case, I found Florence’s young and remarkably pragmatic Mayor busily turning Florence into one huge gorgeous amusement park (sort of the antithesis of the American dress-down / eat-more versions, although I wouldn’t be surprised to find those gondolas zipping tourists from the rail station to the statue of David and across the Arno before long), making a marvelous Pedestrian Mall out of nearly every place with a piazza attached. 

A new sight to drink in in Florence

As if pissing off the taxi drivers wasn’t enough, in his far-reaching vision, the City also erected in Piazza Signoria a small little black hut that most certainly has city center retailers turning red.  Like the entrèe of the Reach™ toothbrush with its black packaging into the all-white pharmacy marketplace, this little black hut is a game changer indeed.  You can walk up and be handed clear water, still or sparkling, bubbling right up there on the premises – for free.  As the Mayor put it, (and as reported in The Florentine, an excellent English-language newspaper , but I paraphrase), 

“It’s high time tourists are no longer regarded as pigs to skin – selling small plastic bottles of water for €3 each ($4.50).  We’ll be saving on plastic, garbage pickup, and finally give tourists back something from the city."  

It’s an excellent start, despite the bickering about the aesthetics, and has by some accounts already saved 60000 bottles in its first week of operation.  I expect the hut to be burned down or reports stating the acqua is tainted to come out shortly, but in the meantime, Publiacqua has planted a shiny new bright yellow hut in nearby Prato.

They can afford to give the water away for free, because Florence is about to follow the footsteps of Rome in shaking down the unwary tourist with its “Tourist Tax.”  Since it was found not to hinder arrivals in Rome, nearly every city across the country is about to employ their own.  Again, our Mayor states, “Better this than taxing the residents.”  Great.  At least I believe that in Florence, unlike in Rome, the monies may actually go to improving some tourist services.  But, when they start to reiterate that, “Tourists are finally contributing to trash collection and other services they use,” I go apoplectic.  This is simply a bald-faced lie, my reasons for which you can read about here (click on grey area).  

Italians are loathe to charge ‘ticket entrances’ to their fair cities, for fear it will turn the country into one big amusement park, but here we are.  Look out Paris Disney.  We already have centurions walking all around Rome, just like Mickey & Pluto, photo opps with Lorenzo De Medici or Leonardo can’t be too far behind.

Tante Belle Cose - June in Italy

The month of June kicks off the enormous amount of summer concert series, events, outside cinema, and entire tent cities offering food & drinks, literature, gifts, you name it for all those on summer strolls.  As the Italians like to say, "You have an embarrassment of choice." But there are other lesser known items in the news that give us reason for applause.

• Mario Draghi was plucked to head the European Central Bank which shows how far Italians could go if they lived in a proper meritocracy (although how he got to the upper echelons of Italy's banking system in the first place remains to be seen).

• Italy's esteemed President, Giorgio Napolitano received an honorary law degree from Oxford (I know, I know, Italy has a President??!!)

• Neopolitan police caught the guys who killed the American cruise ship passenger for his watch - putting yet another nail in the coffin in the tourism coffers of this besieged city

• Italians formed a committee requesting the return to Florence of Leonardo's Mona Lisa  [and, in a non-related incident, we were told of a quip by Italy's Minister of Culture upon meeting his counterpart in France:   

It is said we possess more art in Italy than in all of France to wit the Frenchman responded, That may be true, but you'd have even more if it weren't for Napoleon (who pillaged Italy by "purchasing" much of the contents of the Louvre)

• And the Florentines disowned themselves from the gutter cast members of Jersey Shore, filming there for the summer (good to see that the Florentines have good taste - but, how many tune into Big Brother?)

Article here in Life in Italy

• Vogue Italy showed off gorgeous Italian women in all their curvy splendor...Could it be that the age of Sofia and Anna Magnani is making a comeback? 

click on grey areas for links to full stories

Buy Made in Italy! Per Favore...

This is a message for you men out there – or, you women who shop for your men.  There is obviously a severe crisis in the mens’ fashion world, and clearly not enough guys are putting down the dough for gorgeous Italian clothes.  It would appear that in these times of economic crisis, way too many guys are shopping at Wal-mart.

How do I know this?  Well, not to judge by the looks of most Americans…but, that certainly would be a mitigating factor…Instead, I’m judging from this week’s Men’s Fashion Shows taking place in Florence – Pitti Uomo.  It seems that companies, or their advertising agencies, simply can’t attract the business.  So, they’ve decided to follow in the foolish footsteps of Diesel [the ones who came out with the Beevis&Butthead tag line, ‘Be Stupid’ to promote their styles – as if adolescents needed any more encouragement] and give us a whole slew of pathetic and positively raunchy campaigns. 

Taken straight out of the Ogilvy annals, ‘If you can’t talk about the product, get people to talk about you’ I offer the crème of the crass crop [I refuse to name the companies, so as not to give them more reason to regurgitate their rancid campaigns]:

-       One company has lined the streets of Florence with dead cadavers, crime scenes, blood, guts and all, along with offering up scenes from the school massacre in Beslan (Russia), where over 400 were murdered, 156 of them children.  Yeah. That’ll truly make me want to rush out and spend my money on ‘clothes to be shot up in’.  In the wake of the Tucson shooting spree, it’s even more tasteless in its timing.

Advertising Age:  about 12 yr. old video gamers – too bad they don’t buy their own clothes.

-       Another has Jesus hanging in agony on the cross, imploring you not to succumb to evil, and help yourself by buying their clothes.  Unless they’re selling togas, this is sheer idiocy (and, as the Italian press emoted, blasphemous in the extreme).  My recommendation?  Try that tactic with Mohammed, and see how cute the public thinks you are.  You better have bomb-proof glass at your Company headquarters.

Advertising Age:  clearly not done by any real agency, I’d give the advert an age of 16, the brainchild of the owner’s up & coming son.

-       And then we have provacateur extraordinaire, enfant terrible, ('Terrible' being the operative word), of the consummate self-serving egomaniac of Benetton fame, Oliviero Toscani.  For his Menswear promo, he’s released a calendar.  Great.  I’m thinking a male version of the Pirelli calendar.  Oh. Wait. No, this one is a series of women’s genitals, month by month.  Certainly not a turn-on for women, and seriously off the mark for the legions of homosexual fashion buyers frequenting the shows.

It will be a dark day when the King of Taste, Giorgio Armani, is no longer with us.  Because if this is a glimpse into the future of fashion, we'll need more than Jesus to help us out.

Travel Tuesday Special - Italy May Activities Not to Miss!

With the (sudden and unexpected) onslaught of summer, my thoughts have turned to playtime - and it seems that the Italians can't wait for the insane amount of wonderful summer activities to get underway.  So, here's a sneak preview:

Florence hosts its first-ever Gelato Festival - now that's something icecream about!   may 28-31


Visitors to Florence will find the entire city turned into one big outdoor gelateria, divided democratically into traditional & industrial variations.
My sister says that Florence has the best gelato in the boot, so, anyone who is fortunate enough to be there at this time really lucks (or licks!) out.
Add to this the (real) closing of the streets all around the Duomo (no traffic at all compared to other pedestrian zones) and, you're taken back to the 1950s when the central piazza was filled with people and plants.  The hosts are even planning an open-air ice-cream themed dinner.
Now - how they're going to get this to jive with the city ordinance of 'no loitering' - 'no eating' around those parts is another question...But, Buon Appetito!
check out ItalyMag for details

Not to be outdone in new groovy cultural initiatives, Rome is unearthing their treasures in year 2 of the Roma Nascosta initiative.  If I recall from last year, there was no idea on the posters how to sign up and what monuments you could visit - so the entire thing remained very nascosta (hidden) -- note website and details on said poster, a text book case of publicity in Italy.
This year, they've come up with a calendar and a way to make a reservation (book fast!) and if you dig deeper, you may even find the info in English.

And, to know more about things happening in Rome, we suggest you go to InRomeNow - who publishes a listing of all the happenings in town monthly.

And, in early June, if you're in Milan, you can enjoy all the movies from the Cannes Film Festival - the annual event which makes living in Milan the rest of the year endurable.  Turns out that Rome also does the Cannes film festival redux, so now there's something more to cheer about!

Life in Italy: from Wine to Florence to Fiat to Telecom

What do you get when you mix the Vatican, FIAT, and Rose' Wine?  A terrific cocktail on wheels...

This month the Vatican Museums announced their evening opening hours. Aside from giving us all a cooler experience (in many ways), so you're not in the infernal lines in the scorching sun, perhaps it will alleviate the crowds.
Of course, it could mean that visitors will just double in numbers, too! But, either way, it's a very good thing.

FIAT, with their wonderfully designed cutsie cars, has reported an uptick in sales over 13%. That should be good news for a lot of people.
(I'm a fan of the design, not the repair record).
The Mayor of Florence, in a HUGE move to finally side with the citizens, has decreed that they will no longer be going after the populace, issuing tickets right, left and center for parking and traffic violations. And I quote: "The City coffers shouldn't be dependent for income on fines."
While this is great news for the locals, once they finally allow the rental car companies to issue cars that would allow tourists to arrive at their hotels - without paying the hidden tourist tax (tickets for driving in the city center where all those tourists are headed), then we'll really be onto something.

Due to negative growth, it looks like inflation actually went down in a few cities.
Of course, that was reported on Page 3 of the newspaper. Turn to page 7, and another article said it was up in those same cities. I'll place my bets on the first scenario.

The EU has declared that making rosè 'wine' by mixing reds and whites of dubious origins does not a wine make.
Maybe they can just call it 'wine spritzer', and we can call it a giorno.

And, drumroll please...

The best news ever, the Death Star that is Telecom's TIM (their mobile phone division), has reported subscribers down 628.000 this month alone! Italians flocking in droves to the competition.
Maybe they'll finally stop preying on their customers and instead provide services...Until then, hope the hemorrhaging continues...

May in Italy: Rules for the Road

This May, Italy took a few steps forward on its march toward user-friendliness – something good for residents and tourists alike:

- FREE PARKING The City of Rome lost a lawsuit pursued by the consumer associations (a miracle in and of themselves) regarding the famous ‘strisce blu’; the blue lines defining pay parking all around town. Ignore the meters in bliss. They don’t want your money. (And, wonders of wonders, those millions of parking tickets will also be reimbursed! So, it really is just like in Monopoly).

It was seconds before the word on the street was that the City did not really care whether they lost the case or not: Turns out, the wife of the mayor’s rival, Rutelli, owns the concession and pockets 22M euro of the 27M earned annually.
Although something must be said for the increase in smog, traffic, and once again, the cost of undoing what's been done (they're busy taking down the parking meter signs as I type), no matter, we consumers win out on this one (but, enjoy it while it lasts)…
- NO LOITERING Florence & Assisi have spearheaded initiatives to rid Italy’s most beautiful (and most visited) places of beggars.

Unfortunately, these spears are double-edged: it also means you can’t take in the sun, eat a sandwich, or read a guidebook whilst near the monuments either. We’ll see how it’s enforced.
Naturally, the Vatican chimed in on the right of the poor to collect alms.
No problems there, but, as a friend pointed out yesterday, one guy who goes up & down the trains to Salerno asking for handouts rents in August the lawyers’ beach apartment next door to hers…

- PLEASE DON’T FEED THE PIGEONS

Venice took a bold step and revoked the vendors’ licenses of those who provide bird seed for the pigeons in St. Mark’s Square. The vendors complained that they provided a tourist attraction service, and it’s unfair. And, while I commiserate for those who are losing their livelihoods, I kind of agree with Woody Allen on this one (that pigeons are merely rats with wings).

Of course, if they hadn’t gotten rid of all the cats the city wouldn’t be so inundated with the tons of bird poop to clean off its squares and buildings in the first place.

Caveat Emptor - Tourist Traps in Italy

DRINKS IN THE MAIN SQUARE OF ANY CITY IN ITALY – A word for the wise: just don’t ‘go there’. The price you’ll end up paying will bring you straight down from any high you get from your surroundings. Call me cheap, but, I’ve paid up to $25 for two bowls of ice cream in Piazza Navona, and $17 for two hot chocolates in Milan.

ROMA - Finally, you can go up on top of the huge white Vittorio Emanuele Monument, even have a drink and get great views (free entrance). But, in a country where there is no ‘free lunch’, they’ll charge you €7 ($10) just to take the elevator up there.

The Audioguide at the Colosseum – just don’t bother – at Italy’s most popular monument, it’s unlistenable, and, after waiting in line, you’ll have to wait again with all the anglo-saxons to demand (and unbelievably, receive!) a refund (the Italians, keeping to tradition, just put up with the injustice).

Two hours only in the Borghese Gallery — citing ‘security’ reasons, due to the fact that not more than a 180 people are allowed upstairs, everyone is literally thrown out by the bouncers after 2 hrs. To solve it: hand-held counters (price $2.99) to just count the people upstairs, but no dice. Too many ‘interests’ want to keep it that way (after all, they make 15% of the obligatory reservations). So, instead of enjoying yourselves in what is arguably the most beautiful place in Rome, you’re stressed for time even there.

CITY BUS TOURS – great for the views, forget the audio. You won’t have to think about that, though, because once aboard, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a unit that actually produces sound. One positive note: stick the pods in your ear, and listen to the static, it’s almost like those white noise programs of rainfall.

FLORENCE – At the Uffizi Gallery for political reasons, they want to keep those lines 3 hrs. out the door, when they could just have you go right in with time ticketing (but, don’t count on this changing with modern technology -- the Uffizi is run by an ex-Minister of Culture who thinks that museums shouldn’t even be open to the public).

THE PRINCE'S WALK – The walkway and portrait gallery designed by Vasari which extends from the Palazzo Vecchio to Palazzo Pitti. Although you can spend 3 hrs there, it will take at least as many months to make your reservation. Cost: €70 (nearly $100). Have they never been to the (free) National Portrait Gallery in London?

PISA — I’ve yet to meet a tourist who felt their time there was worth the visit. It’s an ugly, boring town, and if you want to see the artworks inside the buildings, you are literally shaken down by the church. Don't go, and say ya did.

VENICE — If it weren’t for its beauty and romanticism, the entire city would be black-balled by me for the Tourist Trap that it has become. Look at it closely: it is the future of all of Italy: a tourism-based economy, which, instead of catering to their ‘guests’, takes advantage of you at every corner (or in this case, little bridge). This year, gondola rides went from about $90 for 50 mins. down to 40 minutes (same price). But, they make you pay first then slowly glide in at around 30 mins. all the same.
The Gondoliers were recently on strike to protest these rates and their 'excessive working hours'.
This same disservice is prevalent on Lake Como and their motorboat rides.

ASSISI – In the Basilica, just ignore the pious ‘brother’ who screams & hollers at all the visitors to keep quiet. Care to defend yourself, he’ll throw you right out. The biggest defamation to St. Francis’ Message of Peace that I have ever witnessed. Underneath your feet, Francis is no doubt dizzy from rolling in his grave.

As for brotherly love, the friars on the hilltop don’t ‘get along’ with the city officials nor the friars at the bottom—in what amounts to centuries of disharmony here. Giotto even crafted right in the Basilica a beautiful picture of this schism which Francis tried to put right. Looks like it didn’t last, but God bless him for trying.

The rest of the town leaves much to be desired (aside from its charm). Tacky souvenir shops line the streets selling Chinese knock-offs of what were once hand-crafted Italian works.

RENTAL CARS — Don’t even think of heading to your hotel in any City Center during the day to unload your bags or park. The hidden cameras are popping bulbs from photographing your license plate. Months after the joy is gone, you’ll be hit with fines in every town you dared enter as a tourist; in what amounts to a ‘Tourist Tax’ for the City Coffers.