Friday, August 3

You Can't Make this Stuff Up

I offer you, dear readers, a sample Customer Service and Internet Account letter which I received when attempting to simply subscribe to a newsletter put out by the City of Rome (all punctuation precisely as received.. ? signifies letters with accents which they did not account for in the mail:

Dear user,
We remind you that on 14/06/2007, with your online request (protocol no. n? 20070614/113223/3223), ? the procedure of identification of the Portal was initiated, that can? be completed only by your sending in a relative contract for subscription.
We remind you, in addition, that you have until 11/12/2007 (180 days from your original request) in order to send in the contract.
In case of necessity.? it is possible to print out again the subscription contract for the service of identification by accessing the Portal with your proper credentials? which you already possess (Identification = your electronic mail address, Password = your password), selecting the section “User Identification” and, then, the marker “Identification” – “Visualize Contract” and then “Print” function.

The contract will need to be? signed and sent, accompanied by a photocopy, also signed, of your identity? card, a valid one, to the fax 0654573703.
You can send the signed contract and photocopy, signed, of your document also by standard post to the P.O.Box:
Viale Europa 175
00144 Roma.

Once your identification will be? completed, you will receive a mail at your inbox containing the new active credentials (identification and password), in order that you may access the services of the online Portal of the City of Rome.
Additionally you will? receive by regular mail a letter containing the second half of your PIN number.
We remind you that the first part of the PIN will? be sent to you via mail at the moment of your request for identification, and that the entire PIN code, containing both the first and second parts will be? requested by the Portal whenever you desire to access any online services in which you must modify your personal information.
If you have difficulty? or you would like other clarifications of the identification procedure we invite you to contact our Call Center “ChiamaRoma” at the number, 060606, or write an e-mail to the address

Department for the Simplification and
Communication of the City of Rome


Anonymous said...

Up until a couple of years ago, an old Brit called Alastair Cook used to do a weekly slot on the BBC on Sunday called "Letter from America", giving all us poor boys in the UK a taste of rose-tinted USA tempered by the real truth.

Your Tuscan Titterings look as if they may take over from the late great Cook!

Anonymous said...

This was totally surreal